KyON!
by Alex McM
Summary: Starting a high school band is nothing special right? Not like it's anything serious. But when Haruhi decides to start a band that just might change. When the SOS Brigade enters a battle of the bands sparks will fly, love will blossom and the world will come to the brink of total destruction. Once again, it's all up to Kyon to save his friends and the world from anihilation
1. Banding Together

Yes, I know, the last thing I should be doing is starting another story but I've been dying to put this one up! I originally started writing this for a fanfic competition for SMASH! but I ended up starting too late so I was rushing like hell to just get it finished. I only just made it seconds before the deadline. Not only that there was a word-count limit which even after blowing way over, I realised was still not enough. Since it was so rushed I didn't end up winning but I loved the idea so screw it! I'm just gonna run with it and try again! 

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

It was cold that day. North High wasn't the best of schools, not only academically speaking but financially as well, so buying heaters for every classroom, or even one for that matter is beyond their means so we all had to suffer, shivering through each class and battling hypothermia.

Well at least most of us did.

Haruhi wasn't at all fazed by the chills. In fact she even opened the window to let some cool air in. Very cool air. Too damn cool! The icicles still hung from my fingertips as I hesitantly approached the clubroom.

As per usual I asked myself: Why do I bother? Why do I keep coming here to this room where everything that can go wrong does indeed go wrong?

As per usual I didn't answer.

The last time I thought too hard about that some very bad things happened. Actually, very bad is an understatement. Suffice to say the world would have been changed forever if I hadn't saved the day.

Yeah that's right, I'm a hero. I'm a hero and yet I'm just an ordinary guy.

I think…

* * *

The door to the clubroom was shut but the gentle hum of the heater served enough of a clue that someone was in there. Considering the results of many unannounced entries in the past I gingerly rapped my knuckles on the hardwood door and waited for a reply.

…

There was no reply. But the heater was definitely on. That could only mean one thing however I still flinched while prying the door open. I squeezed my eyes shut in shameful anticipation of the inevitable embarrassed squeal of an unclothed young girl.

…

They say silence is golden. I must say I agree.

Thankfully there were no naked girls in the clubroom (For once) and so I let out an exasperated sigh. My entrance as usual went entirely unnoticed by the resident book-worm Yuki Nagato. Her head bowed, short hair framing her round little face, eyes glued to the pages of a book thick enough to be a suitable weapon in combat. She had a somewhat mystifying, doll-like quality to her. You would be forgiven for dismissing her as a mannequin. As if in a trance she devoured every tiny shred of information (I guess she would say _data_) our world has to offer. But then again she reads mostly sci-fi stories. Maybe she's just homesick and likes to read about other aliens?

Oh right…That…

Yeah, Yuki's an alien. That bit is kind of important.

She's a humanoid interface sent here by the Data Integration Thought Entity to observe and analyse the behaviours of a certain special person who caused an unusual and unidentified data explosion three years ago. If that sentence makes no sense to you whatsoever then I'm happy. It means I'm not the only one still confused. To be honest it would be very concerning indeed if you understood that.

But wait, there's more!

There's Mikuru Asahina, a time travelling goddess. Alright technically she isn't a goddess; she's just a low-ranking member of a secret society of time travellers. Her organisation sent her back in time to try and find the reason for a massive time quake that just so happens to coincide with that data explosion Nagato is investigating. Coincidence?

Well hang on, cause there's still Itsuki Koizumi left to be added to this nonsensical nonsense. Guess what he is. He's an esper. He was sent by 'The Agency' to observe that same special someone who caused some kind of event three years ago which gave him his powers in the first place.

Now I too was sceptical at first but I've seen enough to be absolutely convinced that these guys are genuinely who they claim to be.

You see I've travelled back in time, I've seen Nagato's freaky and unnatural powers and I've seen what Koizumi can do too. Now you're probably thinking: Where do I fit in with all this? Why would a normal guy like me be dragged into this mess?

The answer my friend, quite simply, is this:

I. Don't. Know.

Only one person on this earth knows the answer to that question but I sure as Hell won't be the one asking her. If you're feeling brave, might I suggest _you_ ask her? But be careful though because it could result in a little bit of a problem. Nothing too serious, just the _world possibly ending_!

But seriously though…Don't!

Bad things happen to good people. Not to come across as arrogant or anything, but I'm a prime example of that. I've been through some crazy stuff that you wouldn't even believe! I'm talking about travelling back in time to save myself, going through the same Summer a couple of thousand times, fighting giant crickets (Yes you read right! Crickets!), kissing Haruhi-

Hang on.

Forget that last one. Not because it wasn't an ordeal, trust me I only did it because I was cornered by life and death and to be frank she _was _at the time the only girl on Earth. I just don't want my shameful secret to get out. I've tried repressing the memory but that kind of trauma isn't easily remedied. Not to say it wasn't…Entirely unpleasant…

Ahem!

Anyway you're probably curious about Haruhi now. Don't worry it's natural. Everybody is interested in her. All the girls wanted to get to know her, all the guys wanted to date her (Both of those, by the way failed miserably) and she's got the past present and future all in an uproar over whatever she did three years ago. The entire universe is practically lining up to meet Haruhi the allegedly time-distorting, auto-evolving, world-altering goddess.

See, our school isn't below average. Who else can proudly say "God attended this school." Not many I assure you. I wouldn't either but that's just because I'm not entirely sold on the idea of her being a god.

I mean sure she's strange, eccentric, loud, bossy, under-handed, manipulative, loud, has an unhealthy obsession with dressing (And _un_dressing) Mikuru, unusually good at sports, the arts and anything else you could possibly be good at, highly intelligent, loud and unknowingly able to change the world to suit her every whim, but that doesn't make her a god now does it?

Does it?

Well anyway now that you know all the characters in what seems like a very poorly acted farce I guess I should get back to the story shouldn't I?

* * *

Nagato read in silence while I sat in front of the heater like a homeless man before a bonfire desperately trying to chase away the biting frost that made my hands turn blue. I breathed into the palm of my hands, stared at the mist billowing out from my cracked lips and offered my frozen extremities to the warmth of the heater. Nagato didn't even show the slightest reaction to the wintry chill. Just kept on reading.

Mikuru entered soon after, shutting the door behind her and letting out a deep breath. Her cheeks were rosy and red but the way she hugged herself and shivered it wouldn't take a genius to see she was freezing.

Like any true gentleman I shifted over and let her take the front row seat before the heater while I sat back and basked in the radiant warmth of the club-room's resident mascot and time travelling angel instead. Just having her close by drove away the cold and left me feeling all warm and fuzzy in the same way you feel when a puppy rolls over or begs for a treat.

Koizumi entered a few minutes later but he did nothing to make me feel better. As usual he strolled right in with his fake, cheesy, hand-painted smile that he probably practiced in the mirror for hours each morning before school. God I hate that smile of his!

"Well it's a rather cold day today isn't it?"

The first words spoken all afternoon and they sounded like the idle small talk a door to door salesman might offer. I groaned inwardly but managed to throw my head forward in a sluggish nod. He's damn right it was cold!

The afternoon only dragged on and on. Me and Koizumi played cards while Mikuru served us tea (She didn't want to change into the maid costume today and so she remained rugged up in her winter uniform instead) and of course Nagato had not shifted even once in her chair, the only movement coming from her slender fingers brushing across to flip pages.

Haruhi, strangely enough wasn't there. She was in my last class and she seemed really happy about _something._ I was dreadfully certain I would have to go through another nightmare with the SOS Brigade but seeing as how she blew us off that day I was actually sort of happy.

It was quiet, calm, peaceful even.

Everything Haruhi is against.

But I should have known all glory is fleeting. It was too good to be true. I sensed something terribly wrong when footsteps like thunder erupted from the end of the hall. When a looming shadow crawled under the door I knew it was too late. All hope lost. The end was near.

And then the door, the Gate of Hell itself opened wide and _she _strolled in with a spring in her step and a smile I had long ago recognized as the final nail in the coffin, the final assurance that what would come next was surely a bad idea. The ill omen I really wasn't waiting for.

I sighed in advance.

"Hey guys, guess what?"

Yep, here it comes. The beginning of the end…

"I was thinking-"

Not very hard I assume, but go ahead. There's nothing I can do to stop you…

"You know what would be awesome?"

You using your inside voice?

"We should definitely-"

Oh god I can't take the suspense!

"Start a band!"

…

I was right to have sighed in advance. But I couldn't help but sigh again at that point…


	2. Drumstruck

There were four stunned faces in the club room. I was staring at Haruhi feeling quite literally dead inside. Mikuru seemed to predict the future and trembled like a deer in the headlights. Koizumi's smile twitched enough that I noticed he was actually worried under that fake-ass grin. Nagato stopped reading and looked up for a total of five seconds before returning to her book. She wasn't the fourth stunned face I assure you.

No, the fourth stunned face belonged to Haruhi. I could imagine her mental image of her mighty SOS Brigade brimming with excitement over her declaration. The fact that in reality her trusted Brigade wasn't even showing the slightest enthusiasm shocked her. But I know Haruhi (Unfortunately) and there was no way our silent objections would stop her.

"So?" she huffed, far too impatient to let us reply on our own terms, "What do you think?"

Do you really care what we think?

"Of course I do!" Haruhi flared up, getting too defensive, "I value the opinions of all my minions!"

Then don't call us minions! But whatever, if you're up for commentary I'll bite.

"I think it's stupid-"

"Kyon your opinions don't count."

What?

"That's why you'll play bass!"

_WHAT?!_

"U-Um…Excuse me…" Miss Asahina whispered from the sidelines, even raising her little hand in the air as if she were in elementary school.

Haruhi craned her neck towards the ginger-haired maiden with a smile as warm as the half-functioning heater in the corner, "Yes my little princess?"

I'm not even gonna start with that one…

Miss Asahina took a tentative step forward and stared at the ground, her cheeks blazing. She mumbled more so to herself than to anyone else as she fiddled with her fingers, "I…I don't know how to play any instruments…"

Haruhi laughed. As usual every noise she made was very loud. "Ha ha! Don't worry Mikuru, I've got you covered. You just have to stand up front and bash a tambourine! It's easy. So easy even Kyon could do it."

What is that supposed to mean?

"What about me?" Koizumi asked, "I'm afraid I have no experience with musical instruments either."

"You can play the keyboard!" Haruhi snapped back immediately. "It's not too hard since it's only background music." She turned to me next. "And you can play bass Kyon. But don't slack off just because nobody can hear you! If you screw up we all screw up!"

"You're serious about this band thing aren't you?" Dammit I shouldn't have asked.

Haruhi puffed her chest out and as a hormone-driven teenager I'll admit I glanced down for a couple milliseconds. Haruhi was too busy acting proud however to notice so I got away with peeking.

But I still got a tongue lashing for doubting her ambitions.

"I'm always serious! We could be the next big thing! Think about it! What better way to spread the name of the SOS Brigade than to form the world's greatest rock band? We'll tour the world and spread the word of our great cause-"

What great cause? Half the time we look around town for things that don't exist and the other half is spent here playing board games and drinking tea. Never mind I stopped listening to her delusional plan and returned my attention to my cards. I had both jokers and the manufacturer's business card in my hand. I couldn't remember the game we were playing but I doubt I was going to win with those cards so I threw in the towel (well cards, but you get what I'm saying) and leaned back in my chair.

"So let me get this straight. You want us all to form a rock band without any of us having prior musical experience or even a keen interest in music for that matter and expect us to instantly become the next greatest internationally famous rock band and take the world by storm?"

Haruhi wore a straight face as she answered quite simply, "Yes."

I could tell this wasn't going to go down well. It was a stupid question but it had to be asked. "So…How do you expect to go about doing this?"

Upon that little inquiry Haruhi leapt up onto the table, scattering the deck of cards by her feet. Her sudden cat-like movement made all of us jump (except for Yuki of course.) Haruhi fished through her skirt pocket and took out a small scrunched up piece of green paper. I could see where this was going but I held my groan until the end of the presentation upon which Haruhi unfolded the sheet and showed us the ad for a 'battle of the bands' competition.

I groaned.

"I signed us all up for this Battle of the Bands competition. It's on in two weeks so we better be prepared for it when we head over to Tokyo for-"

"We're going to Tokyo for this?!" I couldn't restrain myself. I mean why couldn't we just try and fail in the comfort of our own town instead?

"Yes, Kyon," Haruhi declared with eyes sparkling like burning magnesium, "we're going to Tokyo to face the best of the best! But we're the better of the best of the best of the best so we'll win for sure!"

I doubt that…Honestly I have no idea how your mind works Haruhi. Your logic seems to run its own course like the one kid in a junior athletics race that just has to stray from the track and pursue their own path. But regardless of her flawed delusion of common sense, I see no way out of this. We didn't have a choice. We never did. Once Haruhi made her mind up our minds had to be made up as well. So without any further debate, our band was formed.

* * *

And so began the tedious tale of our high school band. I'll spare you the agonising details simply because those first few days were perhaps the most embarrassing days of my life.

Haruhi had stormed into the rock club's room and demanded to use their equipment. If the girls from Enoz were still students it may have gone down less ugly but considering the recruits this year weren't in debt to our fiery Brigade leader sparks flew and a heated argument followed for a good half hour while the rest of the SOS Brigade just hung back and watched on in stunned awe.

Haruhi couldn't hold a debate to save her life but that didn't matter to her. Haruhi had her own secret weapon in store. Now, blackmail is a nasty term, so it's perfectly suitable in this situation since Haruhi managed to threaten and harass the rock club into sacrificing their room and their gear to us for the entire two weeks we needed for preparation for the competition. I'd say it's admirable but when you use such dirty underhanded mind games to get a deal like that it's hardly appropriate.

Anyway with nothing to do most of the rock club went home instead of going to their club-room but some dared to stay behind and check out what this upstart new band who kicked them out of their own room to rehearse was capable of.

Needless to say the first few days were painful. I realised I cannot play a musical instrument.

At all.

I was so utterly hopeless I was composing a suicide note in the back of my mind while struggling through rehearsals with no direction. Haruhi had no songs up her sleeve and had a band of people who couldn't even pass as roadies at her disposal. Now you see the problem.

The only saving grace for our band was Nagato. She was a virtuoso, but with her creepy magical powers I'm not surprised about that. I still remember the culture festival where Nagato learned an entire set-list note-for-note in just under an hour and performed it flawlessly on a whim.

That's what I call a fast learner.

Of course Haruhi had a lovely singing voice, like a diamond in the rough. She suited the whole rock chick vibe but the fact she had nothing to sing only held her back and her basic knowledge of guitar chords only went so far. Surprisingly it took her four days to realise we were hopeless.

But that was when it all happened.

While Mikuru was forced once again to sit at the drum kit (Clad in her maid outfit I might add. Her _stunning _maid outfit I must say) tugging nervously at the hem of her skirt and looking bashful in that adorable manner she has down to a science. It was then that Haruhi demanded to see a drum roll, her expectations already too high of a girl who still hadn't grasped the basics of _holding_ the drumsticks let alone using them. It was not long until Haruhi became frustrated, becoming more adamant in her wish to see Mikuru play like a pro.

Then it happened.

Miss Asahina stared through a cloud of tears down at the drums set up before her. Her jaw gaped open, upper lip trembling as she mumbled to herself. She held the sticks with sweaty palms and gently tapped the high-hat a couple of times while practically sobbing, "One, two, three, four."

I lost conscience soon after that. Mikuru started off with just a basic drum beat. Then she sped up a little. Then she went even faster. And faster. And faster. Then the drum solo began.

I suspected Nagato's interference was afoot but she was sitting far off into the corner of the room playing her guitar unplugged. The only sound coming from her was the jangling of strings, nothing more. No chanting or incantations or whatever it is she says before she breaks the laws of reality. It wasn't her.

It definitely wasn't Miss Asahina. She seemed more terrified and surprised than anyone.

It had to be Haruhi.

I checked with Koizumi and his grave expression told me enough to know this wasn't good. Haruhi was altering the world again. She was unwittingly turning Mikuru into a clumsy, shy little drum machine.

It was obvious then that we had to try harder and get better before Haruhi went on another rampage.

It was time to practice!

* * *

Please review!


	3. Learn the bassics

Sorry for the delay but here is the next chapter. Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Saturday: A day reserved for forgetting about school and actually living one's life. A day to relax and unwind and have fun. That sounds like a suitable definition doesn't it? Well that's also why I was kind of pissed off!

Feeling very much the pain of those parents in the mall who have to make sacrifices to prevent their child's tantrum, I too was desperately trying to prevent a certain someone from scrunching the world up and throwing it away so she could scribble a new one more to her liking. You see Haruhi is the absolute worst when it comes to losing a challenge.

But sore loser really doesn't cut it when we're talking about Haruhi. She wouldn't just throw the game board away; she would then shoot the opposing players and burn the entire building down. She's also the kind of girl who would make the murder in Cluedo _really_ happen! That's why I don't play games with her in the club room.

Fortunately, Koizumi is much more humble when he loses every single time.

However this isn't about games. Instead we're supposed to be performing in a battle of the bands competition in a week's time. Of course that involves playing musical instruments. Which brings me back to why I was pissed off.

You see, I have no musical talent. Thus, I can't play a musical instrument.

Are you seeing the problem?

No matter how many hours I spend looking over online tutorials or the dust-coated textbooks from the music room I still can't get the hang of playing bass.

"Hey Kyon, wat'cha doin'?"

What does it look like I'm doing? Playing tennis?

"Since when did you play bass?" My little sister persisted, enduring my glare.

With a sigh I answered her, "I only started playing this week. It's for...an important project, so I need to practice alright? So go away!"

After sticking out her tongue and pouting, the noisy little creature I am obligated to call my sister scampered off to occupy her short attention span elsewhere. Thankfully that allowed some peace and quiet so I could really hear all the wrong notes I was playing...

Dammit!

* * *

By nightfall I managed to progress to the point of being able to play the most basic of patterns, albeit dreadfully slowly and interspersed between numerous false starts. Agony barely fits what I feel but for want of a better word it will have to do. My opinion from earlier had not changed.

I still can't play an instrument.

But Haruhi's unnatural determination and pathetically childish competitive streak means I can't fail in the battle of the bands. If I screw up then the entire world is screwed!

Thus, I continued to go without rest or food and relentlessly practised for certainly and without any exaggeration my life depended on it.

The world outside the window got darker but my eyes remained on the sheets before me and the ruby red guitar in my clammy hands. My fingers were screaming and quite literally shredded, leaving Me flavoured shaved ice all over the strings.

I'm really going to have to wipe that...

* * *

Sunday? When the Hell did that happen? I can't remember anything from last night. Everything I learned, gone. Hours worth of lessons vanished in the blink of an eye. Now more than ever I was panicking. With one less day before the competition and one full day of self-tuition evaporated I could feel black storm clouds gathering around me.

Fighting off the crashing waves of drowsiness I crawled over to the blood red instrument which taunted me with its impossible-to-master-in-only-two-weeks secrets. Already eight days had been wasted and factoring in the trip to Tokyo for the competition you might as well take off another day. That leaves just five days to not just passably learn to play an instrument, but become adept enough to outshine so many others who have spent years training for just such a competition.

So it's very reasonable then, that I was feeling ill and quite depressed.

I could probably afford one or two lessons but that wouldn't be anywhere near enough. Haruhi could probably help, but admitting to her that I can't play and require her help would only enrage the overgrown child and bring about the apocalypse. Koizumi was too busy figuring out how to use his own forcefully chosen instrument. Miss Asahina was too busy figuring out _why _she could use her own forcefully chosen instrument. Surely Nagato could teach me? But having endured her 'lessons' in the past I doubt it would really help at all and instead confuse me more.

My fingers danced like drunkards across the neck while I pondered my problem. It was then that a sudden pain struck. Instinctually relinquishing my grip on the bass it flew across the room and crashed to the floor while I turned my attention to the throbbing in my wrist. A thick red mark lay embedded in my flesh...

A mark suspiciously similar to the thick wound strings on the bass...

A cautionary glance only confirmed my fear. The guitar entrusted to me by the rock club was broken, well more accurately just one of the strings. The others had become rusted and caked in dead skin, mould and dirt and god knows what else. They wouldn't last another day let alone the competition.

Great. Just great.

Five days to spare? Scratch that. Make it four...

* * *

With no music stores in the local area I had to catch a train several towns over, lugging the fairly heavy combat wounded instrument all the way. The rumbling train was rather empty, but then again most people have better things to do on a Sunday like relaxing at home or sleeping. Not me though. To ensure that next Sunday everyone could continue to be lazy and relax I need to make this trip as much as it pains me to not be reclining comatose on a couch before the TV.

At my stop the entire train seemed to disembowel itself as all the passengers spilled out onto the platform and trickle away until no-one was left.

Hefting the bass over one shoulder I wandered off into town following the directions I had hastily scribbled down on a torn sheet of note paper seconds before rushing off to the station that morning. After getting lost three times and asking for directions twice I finally arrived at the music store.

About ready to collapse I practically fell into the door and stumbled through into a large open area with walls lined with guitars and other instruments. A faint smell of fresh timber wafted through my nostrils and a hint of metal tasted upon my tongue. I had never been to a music store before so I must admit I was struck by the unfamiliar atmosphere, standing gawking like an idiot for far too long.

With blushing cheeks I rushed over to the left side of the room where a veritable rainbow of guitars filled my vision. All manner of shapes, sizes and colours, some with more advanced paint jobs than stuff I've seen in galleries. It was beautiful in its own sense and even without a musician's passion I couldn't help but be amazed.

While strolling down the rows of guitars too exquisite and often too expensive to even dare to touch I eventually passed into the realm of bass guitars. The one I was loaned seemed like a toy compared to some of the models on display here. Mystified by the wondrous display before my eyes I almost overlooked a figure crouched down in a ball in the corner. A figure with slick black hair running down their back and which in their position trailed along the floor. The crouched figure was staring fixedly at one of the basses, stuck in some kind of trance. Jumbled words and phrases and numbers that all meant nothing to me sputtered out of their mouth in a steady stream of unintelligible sound. Their mantra continued uninterrupted as I shuffled up beside them.

I didn't want to disturb them and simply took in the majesty of the many musical instruments around me. However that wood smell brought with it an unwanted tickling feeling in my nose and forced a shudder.

I'm going to sneeze-

"Achoo!"

Damn...

The sudden and violent sneeze snapped the crouched figure out of their daze and seemingly in a startled state they crawled away from the guitars and into the aisle. No longer pressed into the corner and out of sight I compulsively stared at them. With the veil of hair behind them I could finally see their face.

My heart stopped.

A young girl with wide terrified eyes and a slender, well-endowed frame looked up at me, her jaw agape. The look in her eyes was a familiar one, Miss Asahina's puppy dog eyes. The fact that someone else could actually achieve such an incredible feat truly took me by surprise. For a moment I actually doubted the time travelling angel and light of the black-haired beauty but I managed to compose myself at the last minute and sighed.

The girl moved to speak but seemed to get caught on her own words and made nothing more than a loud exhale.

"S-Sorry to have disturbed you."

"Oh n-n-no problem! I was just...ah...ah..." She was unusually anxious. The colour had drained from her marbled white skin as she began her stammered statement and out of pity I brought myself to interrupt her.

"So, you play bass?"

After performing a sudden jolting move as if being zapped with a taser she stiffened and gave a militaristic confirmation, "Yes!"

Why on earth was she so on edge over a sneeze? This is too much like Miss Asahina...I don't know how much more I can take...I need to calm her down before...I don't know exactly but I should still calm her down!

"I've started playing bass as well. But I must admit I'm not very good..."

The burning in her cheeks subsided then and her pupils returned from pin-pricks to normal size. "Oh, it may seem hard at first, but you'll get the hang of it!" She tilted her head to one side and spotted the gig bag on my shoulder. "Is that yours?"

No I got a friend to steal it from the music room at school.

"Yeah, it's mine."

Without thinking I unzipped the bag and took out the cheap-looking, low range bass guitar Haruhi had extorted from the rock club. Despite that the girl seemed to brighten at the sight of it and was beaming within the blink of an eye.

"Wow! That's an Ibanez GSR200L! That's so awesome!"

Seriously? Compared to the stuff on the wall this looks like something you get out of a cereal box.

"So you're...You're...A lefty as well?!"

Huh?

She moved so suddenly I couldn't react in time. Not that I minded getting hugged by this mysterious disciple of Mikuru Asahina. But still, what was that about being left handed? Why ask that all of a sudden? And why does she now think I'm left hand-

"I never thought I'd meet another lefty bass player! This is the best day of my life! Please let's be friends! Please, please pretty please?!"

"Well...I'd love to, but I'm not left-handed..."

"Huh?" I guess now it was her turn to be stumped. "But then...Why play a left-handed guitar?"

"It's left-handed?"

"Yeah, look at the shape."

"So...That's why it was so hard to play?"

"If you're not left handed, then yeah I guess it would be hard to play...You really didn't know?"

...

...

I'm going to kill Haruhi on Monday.


	4. Bassic Instinct

The silence was very long and very awkward. The both of us blushed profusely. The girl's otherwise snowy-white cheeks were burning pink most likely for jumping on me earlier. I was blushing because never before had I felt like such an idiot.

Honestly that is saying something. Being dragged around by Haruhi often results in moments where I feel absolutely ridiculous or downright retarded but even so the shame and embarrassment experienced throughout all of those past moments was eclipsed by this blunder.

Worst of all might have been her presence in all of this. A black haired beauty with Mikuru's mannerisms. Being made a fool of before those lambs' eyes...

God it hurts...

"Ah...Sorry about...Attacking you and all..."

With a wave of a hand I dismissed that, "Don't worry about it. But I guess you know a lot about guitars huh?"

She giggled faintly at that, a sweet lyrical sound that made my hairs stand on edge. "Of course, I'm in a band."

A brainwave struck.

"Really? So you must be really good then?"

"Naturally." Though she flicked her hair and said that with an air of confidence, her face betrayed her.

I pretended to ponder though the decision had been made long before, "Say...Would you mind giving me lessons? I'll pay you." The added kicker that usually gets anyone to do anything under any circumstances. Unfortunately she didn't seem to fall hook line and sinker for that one.

"I don't know...I'm not a good teacher..."

That's it. Desperate times call for desperate measures as they always say. I grabbed her hands and held them together as if we were praying, "Please, I'm begging you! I couldn't even spot the difference between a right and left-handed guitar! I need all the help I can get!"

She was blushing again, her cheeks painted a delightful scarlet tinge. The way she averted her gaze was so much like Miss Asahina's expression I felt my heart skip another beat. She mumbled under her breath and cautiously peeked at my no doubt pathetic pleading expression.

"Well...I guess so...If you're really fine settling for me."

I was so relieved I almost went into 'hyper Haruhi hysteria' mode (I know it rolls off the tongue like something fun but trust me it really isn't) but pulled back at the last moment only to collapse by her feet and bow graciously.

Amid flustered blushing she let out that infectiously sweet little giggle. It was impossible not to smile and thankfully she returned the gesture with a thin smile of her own. Sure it wasn't beaming like Mikuru on a day off or Haruhi on the warpath but it seemed to carry the same overpowering wave of warmth as the others.

Wait, what the Hell am I thinking?

"Um...We might need to fix your guitar first."

Fix? You mean burn it and get a new one?

"H-how much will that cost?" I asked fearfully, one hand on my heart and the other on my wallet.

"Oh it's fine. You need to change the strings anyway right? Well if you put them on the other way around then you can flip the guitar around and it play it the other way. That should be more comfortable for you."

…

Yeah I didn't follow any of that. I told you I wasn't a musician. Playing it is one thing but any kind of higher level thinking like that is so far beyond me there isn't even any point in trying to understand.

The girl wandered over to the counter and briefly conversed with the attendant. After a few moments of silently wondering what exactly she was doing she spun on her heels and returned with a shiny purple packet. I understood the words 'Bass strings' but the numbers beneath it meant absolutely nothing to me.

"I asked if we could use one of their tutor rooms. He said it would be fine. We can change your strings there."

"Alright! Thanks!" I gestured for her to lead the way and her cheeks reddened yet again. I think she misunderstood. It wasn't an act of chivalry; I have no damn clue where the tutor room is. Hell I was searching for the entrance for five minutes earlier. I'm more lost here than I ever was in closed space.

She led me down a narrow side hall at the back of the store to a small sealed off room. Inside was a wall of amplifiers and equipment I had never seen before. While I stood dumbstruck the girl set to work on fixing my guitar, unwinding the clinically dead strings and setting them aside with the care of a loving mother.

When careful observation became too awkward I sparked up whatever conversation I could, starting with something I had been dying to know. "So...I can't thank you enough uh...I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?"

She looked up with that reassuring little smile, "Mio. Mio Akiyama. And don't mention it…" She opened her mouth to continue but trailed off, hinting with her eyes that she wanted to know my name as well.

This is a new friend. Make a good impression and whatever you do, don't tell her your name is-

"Kyon."

"Kyon?"

…

I didn't just...

Oh god no...

I did, didn't I?

She laughed. Despite sounding as sweet as honey it stung like a killer bee. Why did it always end up like this?! Why can't people ever learn my real name? I'm sick of this damned alias! Why can't everyone just call me-

"Kyon. That's a funny name."

"Ha ha ha, yeah. It's a...Well it's a nickname."

"I think it's cute."

…

Ok maybe it's not so bad after all.

Mio instantly recoiled then as if a spider had crawled out from under her chair. "Oh no, I didn't mean to..."

I raised my hands and forced a chuckle, "It's fine, it's fine. I'm just glad you like it. Nobody else has ever said anything nice about it before."

I must have looked pretty sad while saying that since Mio put on a sympathetic face that could have made a perfect portrait. "Really? But it's your nickname."

"Well to be honest, when I said nickname I really meant pet name. My sister used it to taunt me when we were kids and it stuck ever since."

"Oh I'm sorry...But I understand how you feel."

"You have a bratty little sister too?"

"Bratty yes, sister no. We're best friends but...Sometimes she can be a little too full-on. She's always playing mean tricks on me." Accompanied by those puppy-dog eyes she successfully managed to make me melt. Damn that look of hers! Damn every woman who can pull it off. If they had a mind to they could easily take over the world. Just one glance and everything could be so very simply in the palm of their hand.

Good thing they aren't that proactive...

But I digress.

After removing the rusted old strings Mio flipped the guitar so that the neck faced the other way. Now that I knew it was supposed to be a left handed guitar I noticed how wrong it looked holding it that way, but since she appeared to know what she was doing I let her get on with it. She carefully re-stringed the bass all the while exchanging soft-spoken pleasantries.

Turns out she's the bass player in another high school band called Houkago Tea Time. Their light music club was a hit at their local school and they had even performed at clubs and done proper gigs. Her and her friends had set their sights on one day playing at the Budokan. This Mio Akiyama was the real deal! Not some fly-by-night rock star hopeful seeking to kill some time. Unlike _some _people...

When she was finished adjusting the guitar she handed it back and watched on with a curious stare as I clumsily picked a few notes and tried it out. Honestly it felt so much easier to play, even if the bulging shape of the guitar was a little uncomfortable.

"Wow, that feels much better. Thanks Miss Akiyama!"

"Come on," she pouted forcefully, looking utterly ridiculous but adorable all the same, "You don't have to be so formal. Call me Mio."

"Oh right, sorry. Thanks Mio."

Straightening up she took out her own bass and set it on her lap, "Now then, let's begin shall we? Do you know any scales?"

"I know _of_ them." I admitted painfully.

With a patient shake of her head, which by the way sent her long black mane swirling all around her petite frame, Mio directed my attention to the spot where one slender finger rested. "This note here is an A. So an A scale goes like this, ok?" As her fingers danced along the neck she sang the notes like a primary school teacher. Picking up on my frustrated frown she repeated the scale, slower this time.

I hesitantly repeated the pattern, much to her surprise. She applauded when I was done and smiled gently, "Well done! Now what we're gonna do is move on up here to the B. I want you to use that same pattern from before but apply it here now."

After a few false starts I got it done, glancing to her expectantly and receiving more applause. "Good work! That was a B scale. Now we'll try the C scale."

And so on.

By the time she had glossed over the note arrangement of the neck and taught me what she called the major scales we were asked to leave as the store was closing. Stunned I checked the time and instantly felt sick. It was late.

Really late.

Long past the departure of the last train home...

When we were herded out onto the street Mio lightly tapped my shoulder and brought me back to reality.

"Hey, is something wrong? You don't look too good."

This is nothing. I'll feel a lot worse when I'm walking home...

I laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of my head, unable to meet her gaze since I was dying of embarrassment. "Well, I uh...Kind of missed the last train out."

"What? You mean you have nowhere to stay?"

If I can't find a large enough cardboard box then I guess that about sums it up.

"Aw, you poor thing. You can stay the night over at my house. My parents are out so you won't be disturbing anyone."

As much as that sounds like Heaven, I kind of feel strange getting invited to such a sweet young girl's house. Especially if we're going to be all alone. I mean sure I've been to Nagato's house plenty of times and she's always by herself but that's different. I know Nagato; she isn't someone I just met off the street a few hours ago.

"Thank you for offering but...I can't." Yeah it hurts to say it.

"But where will you go? You can't sleep out in the street! Please, just stay until morning and then you can catch your train home!"

In a fit of reverse deja-vu Mio clasped my hands in conjoined prayer, begging me to sleep over. Even though I was uneasy about doing so, a man can only resist so much to such an appealing offer. Especially when struck by those bloody puppy eyes! Damn it, you know I can't fight that! That's not fair, you're cheating!

Oh screw it! What could go wrong?

"Ok, just for tonight."

I'm having a sleep-over!


	5. One Night Only

I felt good. Really good. I mean, not in a creepy way or anything, I was just happy. It had dawned on me that I would need lessons to prepare for this recklessly entered battle of the bands and honestly I feared a vicious no-holds-barred tutor who would strip my fingers to the bone and give me a worse headache than I get from Haruhi's inappropriately loud exclamations.

But no, my tutor has turned out to be Mikuru's sister separated from birth.

Ok, that was a lie. But they are pretty similar.

She's a real rock star albeit a little shy, but regardless she surely has a lot to offer. I might actually be able to become a passably sufficient musician before the contest! It's a bit of a leap from being a champion but considering my situation just getting through our act without being laughed at is the best I can hope for.

Speaking of which we still don't know what we're doing. Haruhi never gave us any direction to head in and our 'jam sessions' last week were simply wasted fumbling through scattered attempts at learning our instruments. I'm sure Koizumi has picked up the basics of a synthesiser by now. If so then we can hopefully get started with organising ourselves into an actual band (Actual band being used generously here)

"So, Kyon...Why did you start playing bass?"

Oh right she's still with me...

Geez, my mind must have wandered far to forget something like that!

"Huh? Well, I uh..." What do I tell her? I'm only doing this to make sure the world doesn't collapse in on itself. No. I got pressured into doing it for a friend who has yet to learn the meaning of boundaries. No! Hang on, why am I thinking so hard about this?

"To be honest I was pushed into it. Sounds stupid right?"

"No, not at all," Mio pushed aside the free-flowing bangs from her face to glance over at me, "I can relate. I got forced into our band. It's not like I didn't want to do it, I just never thought I could..."

"Yeah, same here...I guess..."

We shared a smile and for just a moment tread down the path in blissful quietude. In the dead of night the streets were so peaceful, the only noise the soothing songs of the wind.

"So your friend...Are they in a band or something?"

"She stood in for a band once, at our cultural festival last year. She was pretty good I must say, but she kind of rushed herself into trying to start a band of her own. She entered her and her imaginary group into a battle of the bands competition and then started dragging in members. Sort of weird isn't it?"

Mio laughed her sweet sounding laugh and ran a hand through her shiny black hair, "It sounds familiar actually. Ritsu always jumps into things without thinking first. That's why she forced me into our light music club and started a band. We were desperate for members. Would you believe our guitarist had never even picked one up before she joined our club?"

Sounds like me. I guess there is hope after all...

* * *

Mio came to a sudden stop outside a neat little house. It didn't look extraordinary in any way but it had a quaint, homely feel to it. Mio seemed to hesitate as she unlocked the gate and led the way to the front door.

She was facing away from me but I'm quite sure she was blushing, only now realising why I was reluctant to join her earlier. Regardless of intentions, inviting a guy over to your house when you're all alone...Well if manga and anime and late prime-time television have taught me anything it can only lead one way...

Great now _I'm _blushing!

"T-This is it! Don't expect anything special though."

…

She may have opened the door, but Mio didn't move. She stood rigid in the doorway so perfectly still that I began to fear she wasn't breathing.

"Mio?"

"Ah!" She snapped out of her trance and fell forwards through the entry. I rushed to her aid and managed to catch her before she slammed face first into the floor, but in doing so we had become stuck in a somewhat awkward position which I'm sure any passer-by would interpret the wrong way. No she hadn't swooned and fell into my arms she had...Well I at least hope she hadn't swooned...

She hadn't right?

"Ah! T-Thank you!" The jittery and nervous side to her returned in full force as she stammered through her rapid-fire response.

"Sorry, it's just...You were gonna fall and..."

Kill me now...Just end this quick so I don't have to go on any further!

Rather than make things more painful by explaining myself fully I simply left my half-formed sentence hanging in the most awkward of awkward silences. Neither of us could look at one another for a good few minutes, both averting our gazes elsewhere. I pretended to be taking in the details of her house while she simply busied herself with removing her shoes and obsessively organising and reorganising the arrangement of indoor and outdoor shoes.

This needs to end. Now.

"Um...Excuse me, where is the restroom?"

Taking her by surprise Mio jolted again, struck by an invisible cattle prod. "Oh, right, it's down the end of the hall to the right."

I ran.

* * *

I washed my face and sighed, staring at my haggard expression in the mirror. That was a terrible entrance. But at least it's out of the way now. The rest of the night should be a little less rusty, surely.

After a few deep breathing exercises I had subconsciously learned from a yoga video my mum watched I felt about ready to step out again. Turning to leave I spotted a hamper tucked in the corner by the door. A crumpled school uniform hung limply over one side and amidst that...

Oh god...

Look away! Don't think about it; just get out of the room now! Abandon mission! Retreat!

Rushing out into the hall with the speed and force of a bullet train wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do.

"Hey Kyon, if you're hungry I can-"

Standing right outside, Mio wasn't expecting a shoulder charge and neither was I, but either way that's what happened. Colliding with full force I was thrown back into the bathroom while Mio was hurled into the wall opposite.

"Ow..." she mewed like a kitten.

I looked up despite knowing full well it was probably a bad idea to do so. I just wanted to make sure she was alright since I was the one who unwittingly spear tackled the poor girl. Deja vu struck me and left me breathless. Those same stripes from before were now wrapped around-

No! Bad Kyon! Stop it!

Oh great now _I'm_ even calling myself that!

Catching onto my furiously burning cheeks Mio let out a shrill scream and half somersaulted into a kneeling position and straightening her skirt. It was definitely the wrong time to become absorbed in the stunning similarities between her and Mikuru's shy, embarrassed faces but I decided to focus on that as opposed to the other thing I had noticed.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you I was just...A-Are you alright?"

Her eyes softened behind a veil of tears. Her lips trembled as she tried to let flow what she wanted to say, "D-d-did you...See anything?"

Yes, but the truth might kill her so it's about time for a little white lie...As white as those thighs...

"No, I swear!"

It put her at ease a little bit, but nowhere near enough to unrattle her. We both stood up and glanced at each other wordlessly, unsure of what to do.

"Do you want something to eat?" she asked, struggling to put on a brave face.

"S-Sure."

At least now that was over...Certainly it couldn't get any worse than _that!_

* * *

"Sorry we don't have much. These are just some left-overs from last night." Mio explained while carrying in a steaming bowl. She placed it down before me before returning to the tiny kitchen to fetch her own.

Seeing as I had caused so much trouble I decided to be polite and wait for her before eating. With a nervous chuckle we both muttered, "Itadakimasu!" and dug in.

I was finished well before her as she seemed to take such reserved little bites, like a bunny rabbit. I found myself compulsively watching her eat, taking in every little movement she made. It's a sad fact but I've done this with everyone in the SOS Brigade as well. Not that it's useful information to have but I mentally recorded everyone eating meals. Creepy huh?

At least Mio didn't take notice. It would most likely scare her, especially when mounting it upon the disasters of the night thus far. Worst of all, Mio's bowl was...Striped...

I'm sensing a theme here...

* * *

After the meal I decided to help her clean up, desperate to make up for my mistakes earlier. Though I never was a good housewife (probably a good thing but still...) I did what I could, eventually being demoted to drying the dishes. I willed myself to be done with the striped bowl faster than the others, not wanting to dwell upon it any further. When we were done Mio cautiously took me to her room.

We were both hyperventilating as we approached the door and as the portal opened our hearts both stopped.

False alarm thankfully. Nothing was out of the ordinary, a clean and tidy little room, not expensively furnished but comfortable nonetheless. A study desk sat by the left hand wall, a bed on the right and a set of drawers just to the right of the door. Near the desk lay a large black cube with slick black tendrils snaking out around in a chaotic yet organised fashion.

It was an amp in case you were still wondering...

"So...What do you want to do now?" Thankfully her tone suggested no ulterior motive. A perfectly innocent question as to how to kill time until we fell asleep.

I stared at the amp. "Hmm...I don't suppose you could give me another lesson?"

For a moment she was silent. Her face seemed to shift between an array of conflicted emotions, drifting through beaming smiles, confusion and at last a tearful smile. On the verge of breaking down she lunged forwards and squealed, "Thank you!"

Backed up against the wall I couldn't fall and so Mio simply slammed into me, falling into a sluggish, unplanned embrace. I could feel the heat emanating from her bright red cheeks as she clung to me. Expecting her to shy away it was surprising when she remained there, sobbing.

Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault? Everything else tonight has been my fault so I wouldn't be shocked if I'd unconsciously severed a nerve somehow and brought her to tears. Still, what on Earth got her so upset anyway?

"A-Are you okay?"

"Yes! It's just...My friends...They never want to practice...Never...I'm so happy!"

Not that I really wanted the moment to end, but it seemed best to stop her before she freaked out again of her own accord. With a forced cough I muttered, "Then...Shall we practice?"

"Ah! Right, sorry! I'll go get our instruments! You wait here!" And she was off skipping down the hall with an unusually spirited spring in her step.

Well that wasn't so bad. Perhaps I can survive until morning after all...

* * *

Please review


	6. Backstage Pass

They say time flies when you're having fun. If it wasn't abundantly clear from the music store before then it was definitely clear after the second training session with Mio. So absorbed in learning I had not thought to check the time. It was only when I was returning from a trip to the bathroom that I caught a glimpse of the wall clock out of the corner of my eye.

"Whoa, it's getting really late!"

"Really? How late?" Mio asked, a hint of disappointment in her tone. She was enjoying being a tutor it seemed.

"It's two thirty."

"Oh...Well how about we wrap it up after just one last little demonstration?"

"Sure."

Of course it was late (Early if you want to get technical...) and I was a little sleepy, but I've got to say that these lessons with Mio were surprisingly fun. Unlike the books and online tutorials, Mio actually engaged me and could tell where I was going wrong when even I didn't realise it. She had tips from her own experience and first-hand advice. She was a great teacher and not a bad looker either...

After painstakingly teaching me a song Mio finally sat back and smirked, "You know I wrote that song."

"What? No way! Seriously?" I was dumbstruck. It really felt like a professional piece, like something you'd hear on the radio or at a bar. It didn't sound like something a mere youngster could come up with. I was impressed enough to give her a clap.

"It's one of our biggest hits. It's called 'Fuwa Fuwa Time'."

…

I had to laugh. I managed to choke back the waves of laughter that so desperately desired to flow out and rocked backwards until I could barely keep my balance anymore. Mio noted my reaction and blushed, her smile devolving into a thin frown.

"They always laugh..."

"I-I'm sorry...It's just..."

"It's not that bad is it?" she asked bashfully.

"It's not bad it's just...Cute. I didn't expect that from you."

Suddenly she looked shocked, "Are you saying I'm not cute?"

I shook my head fervently, "No, not at all! I think you're very cute!"

Oh god I just said that out loud didn't I?

Uh oh...She's turning pink.

What the Hell do I do now?! If I quickly refute that claim she will get upset. If I don't explain myself she might misinterpret what I've said. If I try and change the subject it will seem like I'm trying to distract her from an unwarranted confession. If I play along she'll probably believe it as well...

Shit! Each path either leads to a misunderstanding or pain. I'm cornered!

"Well..." Mio broke the silence for both our sakes. She didn't want to look at me anymore, taking great lengths to look at anything in the room other than me. "It's late. We should get some sleep."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Mio went to fetch some blankets and a pillow and I stood in the empty silence of her room contemplating disasters of the night whilst weighing them up with the positives. Just when I was beginning to think it had balanced itself out...

"GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGH!"

That was startling to say the least. I jumped a few centimetres off the ground and almost collapsed into the cupboard. I could hear Mio screaming in the hall. Her scream was definitely different from the first one, which begged the question: Just what in the Hell was that?!

The piercing, blood-curdling wail billowed out yet again, filling the room with its unholy sound. Scanning the room I spotted Mio's phone on the bed-side desk become possessed by demons and convulse frantically on the table. A red light blinked sporadically as if issuing a warning to stay away.

I hesitantly snatched it up and flipped the phone open to find it was simply an alarm going off.

Wait...An alarm? At 3AM? With that tone? What the...

"Sweet Dreams Mio...From Ritsu..."

Yeah, I'm confused...

I turned off the alarm anyway and went out to find Mio, following the sound of her faint whimpering. She was crouched down inside a cupboard in the laundry room. Covered in blankets she curled herself up in a ball and shivered while tears flowed down her ghost-white cheeks. Whatever that alarm was actually for, I'll never know but it sure did scare the life out of her.

"Mio...Are you alright?"

She looked up at me for the briefest of moments but didn't answer, only cried louder. I'd never seen anyone so terrified before in my life and I realised then that I was glad I never had. It physically hurt to see her like this.

"Don't worry, it's over. You can come out now."

She didn't move aside from the stubborn shaking of her head.

"Come on, you're not going to stay there the whole night are you?"

A nod.

"Don't worry, its safe now. Trust me."

I stretched out a hand to her and she clung to it like a lifeline, her fingers digging deep into my arm to ensure she wouldn't let go. I gingerly led her back to her room and sat her down not knowing exactly what to do afterwards. Considering in most situations like this I'd usually just walk away I was feeling tempted to just go to sleep and check on her in the morning after she'd have hopefully slept off the unusual surprise.

But there was something preventing me from leaving.

Mio was still clutching my arm, even tighter than before. There was no need to explain, her expression was enough to tell me everything. I'd seen how jumpy she had gotten from simple little things so surely she frightened easily. Since that alarm scared the crap out of me there was no telling how much it had affected Mio.

Whoever that prankster Ritsu was, they had definitely gone too far with this one.

"K-K-Kyon...Don't go...Please?" Mio's fingers dug into my arm further until it no doubt was hurting us both and her entire body tensed up in anticipation of my answer.

I forced a reassuring smile and sighed, "Sure."

To be safe I switched off her phone and then sat by her side as she lay down. I tried revising our lessons in my head while waiting for Mio to calm down and rest. Even while sitting on the edge of the bed I could still feel her trembling through the mattress. For hours it continued on relentlessly, the poor girl still moaning and sobbing as she willed herself to forget her ordeal to no avail.

Rest assured that Ritsu person would certainly pay for what they had done!

"Kyon?" A soft cry startled me out of my wandering thoughts, "Are you still there?"

"Yeah Mio...I'm here."

A sniffle. "I'm so sorry...Troubling you like this..."

"Trust me, it's no problem." My tolerance levels have had plenty of practice with my SOS Brigade escapades. I could stand to lose some sleep. Compared to travelling back in time to save myself this was nothing.

"Really?"

"Really, now try and get some sleep."

Her body seemed to relax then and after some pause, "Thank you..." But still she trembled and her intermittent cries continued.

* * *

A bright light shone in my eyes. I woke up, though I couldn't for the life of me remember ever falling asleep...try as I might I couldn't move. Immediately panic set in. I pried my eyes open and stared out the window at the brightly shining sun. It was blinding and since I'm quite sure I need my eyes I shifted my head out of the path of the glare. Though I tried to roll over I remained trapped somehow, caged in by an interlocking bar across my chest.

No wait...Those are arms...

Arms?

With great difficulty I craned my neck around as far as it could go, until the vertebrae felt like they would pop out. I spotted a slumped figure behind me, a face masked by thick waves of straight black hair. A body that had been trembling into the dead of night, now tranquil and relaxed. Arms outstretched and trapping me in.

Well...If anyone knows how the happened I'm ready to be enlightened. How in the hell did I get here when last I remember I was sitting on the edge of the bed? Is there a replay button? A convenient flashback anyone? No? Surveillance footage? Dammit!

Gently prying the slender fingers from my body I slowly crept out of Mio's embrace and turned to her to get a better look. The pillow beneath her had been soaked with tears, still damp in the morning light. Just barely visible through the ebony strands were eyes ringed in black. Tear streaks still remained etched upon her cheeks.

I almost cried myself.

But before I could...

Mio's eyelids fluttered for a few seconds before sliding open and taking in the scene before her. Expecting a deafening cry I let out a yelp of my own but my outburst was resultantly louder. Mio simply uttered a soft cry of alarm. Why wasn't she more surprised about-

Oh.

"Uh...Good morning." I tried to conceal my sudden shock but my voice just _had_ to crack like a crappy old rusted iron gate then and there. In the end my greeting turned out sounding like a mutant rooster imitating a parrot which was imitating a person. Yeah that's a confusing metaphor but whatever, I'm bloody confused! Give me a break!

A waxwork of emotions crossed Mio's delicate features. A startled curiosity intermingling with exhaustion and relief and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. Rather than feel everything at once, instead she seemed to just become indifferent to waking up next to me.

I, on the other hand...

Wait a minute...Today is Monday.

I'm gonna be really late for school! If I don't turn up then Haruhi will be _very _angry and that's something I nor the entire world wishes to endure.

"I uh...I'd better get going."

"Oh, right. What time is it?"

I glanced at the clock and all colour drained out. Oh crap!

Since I didn't answer Mio checked for herself and together we let out a beautifully harmonized scream. Shame we didn't have the time to admire that.

"It's already the afternoon! How could we sleep in so late?!" Mio jumped out of bed in a fit of frenzy and snatched up her phone. "Huh? Why is it turned off? The alarm was supposed to-"

So that's why. There was a proper alarm on that phone as well huh?

"Sorry, I switched it off. I didn't want you to get scared again..."

Just as she was mouthing my words silently she understood. The adorable blushing came on in full force and she turned away to hide her embarrassment. "Oh no! You saw 'that' didn't you?" Her shoulders slumped in derision and her tone died as if she were powering down, "You must think I'm an idiot getting frightened like that."

"It's only natural to be scared right? Besides fear is just a sign that you care. Whether you fear for yourself or others, when it all comes down to it, it simply means you're a caring person. That's why you worry so much. I mean you offered to let me stay here because you were scared I might get hurt out on the streets all night. An idiot would just turn me away without a second thought. So no, you're not an idiot, you're just really kind."

Mio's expression softened and her shell crumbled away to reveal a warm smile. "Kyon, thank you so much..."

"Thank you for teaching me how to play bass. I can come back for more lessons another day can't I?"

"Sure! Just give me a call whenever you need some help!"

We exchanged numbers and then said our goodbyes. We packed up our instruments and both made for the door in a rush. I wrenched the door open and bolted outside. The thing is though I only made it half a step or so before colliding with an unforeseen obstacle.

My reckless charge knocked the stranger out into the front yard while I tumbled back into Mio. A chorus of groans and curses rose up in a crescendo of frustration until we all looked at each other. The person I had barrelled into was another girl with short sandy blonde hair held back by a yellow hair band. For a second there I thought Haruhi had dyed her hair but that didn't excuse the different uniform, the slight tomboyish vibe about her or the very fact that she had found me here when she didn't even know I had left town.

I felt relieved for a moment but then I remembered I had just tackled a complete stranger. People can get in trouble for doing that. As long as she doesn't call the police I'm safe!

"W-What are you doing here?!" Mio shouted, revealing an agitation I had not yet seen from her.

"What are _you_ doing here?!" The girl snapped back. She then pointed an accusing finger at me, "And what is _he _doing here?!"

I did what anyone else would do in such a situation.

I ran for my life!

* * *

Well I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I know the other K-ON! characters haven't shown up yet but trust me they're all going to have their turn in the spotlight in good time. There's still 6 days until the battle of the bands and plenty of excitement along the way! Don't miss the next chapter and please remember to review! 


	7. Railway Blues

I didn't have to wait long for the next train back home. While watching the world fly by the memories of last night seemed to fly by as well. It could be seen as a complete disaster, but also a success. I mean sure some weird things happened but I at least learned a lot and managed to find an excellent tutor. The suffering wasn't for naught at least. In fact that 'suffering' wasn't really too much to handle now that I think about it. It was sort of fun!

I guess it's just like my adventures with the SOS Brigade. Sure I get subjected to loads of things I don't want to do. Sure I go through a lot of what most would find traumatic in our pursuit to keep Haruhi on track but in the end of the day it's always fun and I wouldn't miss any of it for anything in the world!

Maybe it's not that bad after all?

Or maybe I'm just a pushover?

…

Either way, it doesn't matter.

'brrrnng'

With a sigh I fetched my phone and studied the caller I.D. Haruhi eh? This will certainly be loud. I answered the call while holding the phone a foot away from my face. I was right to do so. It was as if the phone were on loudspeaker as Haruhi's almighty roar bellowed out of the poor little speakers that could barely contain the noise.

"Kyon! Where are you?! School was on today you know!"

"I know. I just had a day off to practice for our big battle of the bands. I'm just at home."

"Liar!" Ouch. I forgot to move the phone away after talking. I took that one full in the face. "I called home first! Your parents said they haven't seen you since Sunday morning! Where are you?! We're all worried sick!"

If you're that worried about my well-being then don't make me deaf. "You know you can simply talk into the phone, you don't have to yell."

There was a snarl on the other end. "Fine," That's a little better. "Now answer me damn it! Where have you been all this time?"

"I had to go out of town to fix up that guitar you loaned me from the rock club. You're worrying over nothing."

"How far did you go to get it fixed? Kyushu?"

"No, why would I have to go that far just for some new strings?"

"Well then why did it take so damned long? You can put strings on in like ten minutes!"

"I know, but I found a person who was willing to teach me how to play better so I took some lessons."

"You took lessons for twenty hours? Doesn't that hurt? Do even still have fingers?!"

"I didn't practice for that long you idiot! But since it got late they offered me a room at their place. I'm on the train back now."

Haruhi must have been in deep thought because she was silent on the other end for a while. In fact the very idea of her stopping to think before speaking struck me by surprise.

"Alright then. So was this guy good? Did he turn you into a rock god?"

"Uh, not quite, but I can at least play the bass now. Which reminds me, when I get back we should have a band meeting. We need to sort out what we're doing for this battle of the bands don't we?"

"Ah! Right! I'll get on that and organise a meeting in the club-room after school tomorrow. You just hurry up and get back here ok? And next time Kyon, please just give us a call or something...We were...Very concerned..." That last part sounded odd. Something was wrong.

"Is my connection bad or are you crying?"

"Shut up! You're probably in a tunnel or something right?" She snapped, preceded and followed by just barely perceptible sniffles.

I looked out the window at open plains. "No. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Just get your ass over here dammit!"

She hung up.

Oh well she'll be fine. The sky is still blue right now and none of the horses are eating each other. I can't tell if there's a closed space or anything but I'm sure it's gonna be alright.

Just as I was putting my phone in my pocket it rang again. Rolling my eyes I picked up, expecting Haruhi to have another lesson in store for me. Instead...

"H-Hi Kyon. This is the right number isn't it?" It was Mio.

"Yeah, it is. What's up?"

"I uh...I wanted to apologise. For everything that happened last night and this morning and-"

"You don't need to apologise for that." Mio giggled and then there was some bumping or something on the other end. "Mio? What happened? You ok?"

"Oh, he cares!" someone said in the background.

"Hello." The voice this time was different.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Huh? You don't remember? I remember you! There's an impression of your face in my forehead."

"You're that girl I ran into this morning?"

"Bingo! 100 points! Now let's get to the point here. Mio won't tell me what was going on with you two. You better spill it or heads will roll!" Was this Haruhi again?

"She was teaching me how to play bass. We didn't do anything like what you're thinking so you can go ahead and get your head out of the gutter."

"Mio said that too. Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying. I went there to get some lessons."

The girl chuckled to herself making the speakers crackle, "Lessons in love huh?"

"What?!"

"Ritsu give it back!" Mio cried in the background.

"Wait a minute! Ritsu?"

"Yeah, that's me!" the girl replied rather pleased with herself.

That's it! "You idiot! What the hell was that alarm about?! Mio was terrified!"

"Alarm? Oh that! Ha ha ha! I forgot about that! What the...Mio's blushing. Something _did _happen! I knew it- oof!" There was a very loud thud and suddenly Mio was back on the phone.

"I'm sorry."

"Did you just..." I trailed off wondering whether that girl had died or not. That hit sounded pretty damn solid to me.

"Oh, I just gave Ritsu a little time out that's all."

And suddenly the scaredy-cat becomes scary...

"Anyway..." she sounded as desperate as I was to move on quickly, "You told me last night that you really liked my songs."

"Yeah. They were fantastic."

She giggled at the compliment but it was a rather shy laugh, "Well you only heard the bass parts. I bet you would love to see the whole band performing, right?"

"Sure, that would be great!"

"Then how about coming along to our next show? I mean if it's not any trouble or anything! I don't want you going out of your way or inconveniencing yourself at all for me, it's just I was wondering and I uh...Um..." I hear hyperventilation. She really panics over nothing sometimes.

"Mio, calm down. I'd love to go. When is it?"

"It's this Saturday. But the thing is, it's all the way in Tokyo. I hope that's not too far?"

I've never fancied myself as much of a sleuth or anything. Sure I managed to follow a little of what had transpired during Koizumi's overly dramatized live action cluedo, but I'm in no way a great detective, nor do I want to be.

Still several things were wrong with what Mio had said. A performance with her and her band which was on this Saturday and took place in Tokyo...

Those are some big dots to connect. But even so...

Stay calm. Surely it can't be...

"Is that the battle of the bands competition?" Might as well go for broke.

"Yes! How did you know?" Well that does it, I'm broke.

"Oh let's just say I heard about it from a friend." A friend who may just let heads roll if she doesn't win said competition.

"Is your friend going?"

"Naturally. They signed up for it."

Mio let out a joyous laugh that tickled my ears, "Oh! Some friendly competition?"

Let's hope it stays that way. When I sighed I made sure to do it away from the phone so she couldn't hear. Somehow I still think she detected something wrong. She called out for me loud enough that even with the receiver a foot away from my face I could distinctly hear my name being called.

"Kyon, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I just got a little...Distracted."

You see I have a legitimate reason to be distracted and for the love of god no I'm not autistic or have ADHD. Rather the uncomfortable burden of the entire world had been dumped on my shoulders. Needless to say I suck at gym classes and such a weight is well beyond me. Mio's band is entered in the very same battle of the bands that Haruhi has thoughtlessly dragged us into. Here's where the problems occur. You see there's no question that Mio will win the competition or at the very least beat our SOS Brigade. An unfortunate implication arises from that revelation. To keep Haruhi appeased...To spare the world the temper tantrum of an immature 'god'...Mio and her band has to lose. But they are professionals. They're real performers! They already have a fan base! The only way they could ever lose to a bunch of inexperienced half-assed amateurs like us...

Sabotage...

Mio's dream, Haruhi's wrath and the fate of the world all seems to fall into the palm of my hand. Why me you ask? I wish I knew. But it's always been that way. Regardless of the fact I'm supposed to be the only normal one in our SOS Brigade it always turns out that I'm the one stuck with all the dirty work.

It's odd...I thought they abolished slavery?

"Kyon? Are you alright?"

Ah, the phone...

"What? Um...Yeah, I'm just a little tired. It's a long train ride after all. Sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have bothered you at a bad time like this. But still I'm glad you can come and see me playing live! I'm so excited!"

Excellent. She can be excited for me too while I'm quietly shitting myself backstage. And not just because of stage fright which I haven't even begun to tackle yet! In fact I only thought about it just then...

As if it wasn't obvious already, we had really over-stepped our mark with this little endeavour. The SOS Brigade is screwed with a capital 'S'.

There was too much to think about now. The fond and also the yet to be repressed memories of last night, the implications of Haruhi's misguided determination and of course Mio's unwitting intervention in Haruhi's scheme as well as possible repercussions for that were all swirling around in my head like that white stuff in a snow globe that I'm quite certain isn't snow. Lest I ignore her any further I decided to sign off for now.

"Oh, hang on, this is my stop. I'll have to call you back later. Bye."

I heard Mio beginning to respond but honestly I didn't have time. I hung up on her just as a few meaningless syllables rolled off her tongue and out through the receiver.

It was another half hour until the train arrived at my stop...


	8. Falling Flat

The air was cold outside when I stepped out of the train, at last at my station. I guess it was fitting since I felt pretty damn cold inside as well. The worst decision of my life hung before me, taunting me. An inescapable problem. On one hand I crush the dreams of a dedicated and passionate musician much more deserving of winning than our pitiful SOS Brigade. On the other hand another passionate person (Passionate for all the wrong reasons I might add...) will no doubt sink into depression and hurt many more people in the process...

It probably sounds like an easy choice right? Forsake the few for the needs of the many as they say. But I don't want to forsake anyone! I'd be a little less hesitant if it was simply a stranger off the street, but Mio is...

Hmm...

What is Mio to me? We've only known each other for a day and yet I feel like I've known her for years. We may have endured some awkward unpleasantness in our short time knowing each other but we've become good friends since then.

I may not know everything about her, but I'm certain of one thing. Mio wears her heart on her sleeve. She's so kind she would invite a convicted killer into her house for a cup of tea. In fact she's so kind she would let a stranded fool she barely knows into her home because she couldn't bear to see him sleep on the streets. She comes across as an independent girl but really she's only hiding behind a mask.

It was the secret shame she had revealed to me that last long night. She pushes herself too far, only to become stranded and need to be led by the hand back to her comfort zone. Mio herself is aware of her insecurities but constantly strives to hide it, to stow away her doubts and fears so that she can feel strong...

The band, the music, it serves as her shield. It is the caring hands that lead her ever onward and pick back up her up when she falls. It's her lifeline...

It's her life.

Mio is innocent in all of this. So why the hell do I have to spit on her dreams?!

There has to be another way!

While I contemplated this I took the long way home. Even the short way is a long walk, but I couldn't care less. This puzzle would take some time to solve. I can spare the time.

The sky is no longer blue, assuming a much less appetising grey hue. It's probably going to rain and I probably shouldn't have taken the extra-long way back...

Whatever.

I try my best to think of a solution, but every time I feel like I'm close to the answer my mind goes blank. God damn it! Why is this so hard?! How could it end up like this?

If only Haruhi could take a loss, not as a crushing defeat, but as an incentive to try harder and to better herself. Maybe then the world wouldn't be in danger so much. If only she could apply herself to something for more than a simple trial run and just stick with it instead of wandering aimlessly day by day just sampling every little thing the world has to offer. I mean what's going to happen, Haruhi, when you've done everything? When every mountain has been climbed, every skill mastered, every sport played, every ability honed to perfection...What will you do then?

Start a new world from scratch and start from the beginning again? Or will you just stop trying? No, I know you too well Haruhi. You would never stop trying. Perfect isn't good enough, you have to be better than perfect and then even better than that.

But I don't care about any of that. You're good enough as you are. Why can't you just settle down and be happy with what you have instead of constantly running ahead of everybody else?

Geez, why am I even having this conversation? With myself no less! Besides, to Haruhi, the words 'calm down' or 'settle' are nothing but ill omens to be avoided like the plague. The only difference is that a quarter of Europe wasn't wiped out by being level-headed.

Nonetheless, Haruhi wouldn't quit anything, ever for as long as she lives. Which leaves only one path to travel at this point. A disgusting, shame-ridden path I'd preferably not travel.

But like always, I'll just complain quietly by myself and walk down the dreaded path anyway.

It's not like I can travel back in time and convince Haruhi to try salsa dancing instead of starting a band. It's not like I can just go against her wishes and fight against whatever may come, nor can I simply alter the world around me to make sure everything goes well without getting my hands dirty. I'm just a normal human being stuck far out of my league in the SOS Brigade. I'm the pawn amongst all those better chess pieces that can move more than one space and in different directions. Sure they can skirt around any problems, but all I can do is keep moving blindly forward...

It was some time until I noticed Nagato's apartment block looming over the smaller houses around it. Even from two blocks away it stood out. Since I was already there, it couldn't hurt to stop by for a visit.

* * *

The buzzer made me jump in alarm, quite stupid really, since I'm the one who pressed the button, though the electrical hiss was indeed startlingly loud in the otherwise sombre quietude of the neighbourhood. Instinctively I glanced down at the speaker on the console, expecting Nagato to ask who was expecting her.

Despite the silence I could tell Nagato was there. Her silence always felt different from any other silence. Or maybe I'm just crazy? Yeah that's a safer bet...

"Uh...It's me, Kyon."

"..."

The door opened.

Having made this trip so many times in the past it was no trouble finding Nagato's room. Knocking out of habit I stepped back as almost instantly the door was drawn open, as if she had been waiting with her hand on the handle the whole time anticipating my knock.

Yuki greeted me with her usual cheerful wave and a hug, dancing about like an excited puppy. Yeah right! She stared at me, without blinking, the tiny line of her mouth just perceptibly shifting between the millimetre wide gap between a straight face and a smile. Without saying anything, she simply stepped inside, an obvious enough cue to say 'Come in' without the unnecessary excess of words. I'm not sure why, but I felt a little disappointed that she hadn't said anything. The way Haruhi reacted to me missing for just a day made me wonder what the others must have been thinking. Seeing Haruhi panicking like she must have been, they probably thought I was dead...

I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I had a week off...

"So...Hi." I tried to break the ice, but instead just bounced off, looking awkward and stupid.

"..." Don't worry, her silence is normal.

"I...I'm sorry I was out of contact for a while. I was out of town."

"..." A vague nod followed. Not a big noticeable one, but a definite movement of her head since her hair bounced a tiny bit. For such minimal movement it was kind of cute.

"So yeah...I'm sorry for making you worry." said whilst scratching my head despite not having an itch.

"I wasn't worried."

Well that was blunt.

"Haruhi Suzumiya was worried."

"I know, she called me earlier and had a fit."

"She is still worried."

"Why?"

"You were not here." she replied, as if it were that simple an answer.

"I know..."

"I see."

…

Maybe I shouldn't have come to Nagato for answers.

"I suppose I should apologise to her tomorrow."

"Yes."

Another silence. Yeah, I definitely shouldn't have come here with the expectation of having a conversation. But, while I'm here I might as well ask..."

"So, how has band practice been going?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya is distressed. She lacks direction."

"Well, doesn't she always?"

Yuki shook her head, rather obviously this time. That was a surprise.

"You were not here."

This again? I already know that! How could I not be aware of myself being out of town?!

"You were not here. So she was distressed."

"Oh...Alright then. Well I better get going. It's kind of late...See you tomorrow Nagato."

"..." Though her lips didn't so much as quiver, her hand jerked in some kind of reflex action, almost as if she wanted to reach out and grab me, but her hand simply moved a fraction of a centimetre out and to the side. I pretended not to notice and left, closing the door behind me with a sigh.

Even for Nagato that was awkward. It had been a long time since I'd felt so out of place around her. But why? Over the course of our time in the SOS Brigade I had come to somewhat understand the enigma of Yuki Nagato. I had begun to notice her ways of expressing herself, slowly uncovering her secrets. I had become comfortable around her, even depended on her at times.

So why now? Why did it feel so odd?

It feels like ever since the train-ride home the world has been falling apart at the seams...

I sure as Hell hope that I'm wrong about that!

* * *

The rest of the walk home was made all the more depressing with more questions looming in my mind. What do I do about this battle of the bands? How should I apologise to Haruhi? Why was Nagato being so...slightly stranger than usual? What will I do about Mio? Why was Haruhi so upset?

Question after question simply swirled around in a confusing mess making it more complex to try and solve them. I had a headache by the time I reached my street, feeling unimaginably relieved to finally be so close to home.

That long way home turned out to be way too long as night had fallen already. As I approached my house, something caught my eye. Standing beneath one of the street-lights, a thin shadow lay in wait outside my home.

Squinting did nothing to help make out the silhouette bathed in the light. It wasn't until I had gotten a little closer that I could make out the North High uniform. A girl's uniform.

Stepping closer again revealed a yellow ribbon in her hair. That was the only clue I needed.

Haruhi.

But...Why was she waiting outside my house at this hour?

My sluggish and overtly loud footsteps made the diffused firecracker flinch, stumbling away from the street-light and towards the bushes in our front yard. There was no point warning her since her foot had already become caught on the low stone wall while her body kept on moving back. Even Haruhi could not control gravity (Yet...) and so she tumbled helplessly into the garden amidst a fit of curses and noises that I'm quite certain should have come from zoo animals and not high school girls.

I probably could have just slinked away if I had a mind to, but my laughter gave me away.

A lion snarled from within my garden, scrambling about like a turtle on its back.

For Christ's sake...You really are helpless aren't you?

"I-I'm not helpless! Stay back! I can stand up just fine on my own!" said Haruhi while her legs flailed about haphazardly like a pair of living sock puppets over the garden wall. She tried to perform a half sit-up, half reverse somersault, only to find herself remaining stuck in the bushes.

I extended a hand, trying to focus on finding purchase with her own flailing limbs as opposed to her obliviously flipped skirt. Dammit, stop flinging your legs like that! I can see your panties-

"Oof!"

I'd seen many unfortunate victims succumb to Haruhi's wild kicks, I found out then what it truly felt like to cop her boot to the face. And yes, it does hurt! So much so that I collapsed into the gutter in much the same position as Haruhi with my legs bent up in the air as if in labour. Though I think childbirth would be a little less painful than Haruhi's grounded flying dragon kick. Suffice to say that I had felt shock-waves ripple through my skull, the pain surging in a wave from one side of my face to the other.

"Kyon?! Kyon I told you to stay back didn't I? It's your own fault for not listen- Uh oh!"

That's reassuring...

"Oh crap, is that...Are you bleeding?"

Huh?

Is that what that foul taste on the tip of my tongue is from? Is that the cause of that sickly sweet sensation coursing down from my nostrils? Take a note: never get in a fight with Haruhi, she gives new meaning to the term, 'kicking ass'! Anyway a quick brush of the hand against my face confirmed Haruhi's fear. The sight of my own blood wasn't too much of a shock. I'd seen a whole lot more once before. But then being stabbed is a bit different from being kicked in the face isn't it?

Nonetheless, I think this one tops the pain list. At least you go into shock when you're stabbed...

"I'm sorry! A-Are you ok?"

Yeah, I'm fine; I just like to bleed out a little on cool nights like this. You should try it some time.

Her face scrunched up into some expression I had never seen from her ever before. I think it was...Yes it was definitely...Concern for someone other than herself! I guess I should feel lucky.

"Oh no, you're delirious! You might have a concussion! Quick! Let's get you inside!"

Sure. Just give me a minute to remember how to stand and walk again. I think my brain was knocked upside down from the impact. Actually...Just give me a minute to...To close my eyes and...

…

Black out...

* * *

An unexpected homecoming present...Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next update may take a while since I'll be busy all of November with NaNoWriMo. But hopefully I can get the next chapter finished by the end of the month. Till then, I hope you enjoyed this tasty little morsel. 

Remember to review, it helps a lot more than you think it does!


	9. Headbanger

Why does my head hurt? Oh right, that...How could I forget a show-stopper like that? I should count myself lucky that Haruhi doesn't wear steel cap boots, or soccer shoes or...Clogs. Ugh! My mind's all over the place, but that's fair enough considering that kick managed to splatter my brain all over the front garden.

Well not literally, I'd be sort of...Well, you know...Dead.

But you understand right? My face hurts an awful lot right now!

Speaking of which, the gutter felt a lot more comfy than usual, almost like a pillow. Actually, softer than a pillow. A strange feeling I'd never felt before. Maybe I am dead after all?

No...Neither heaven nor hell would resemble my room. Which must mean...

"Ah!"

"AH!"

The louder cry was mine.

"W-What's wrong?! Does it still hurt? Are you feeling sick, dizzy, nauseous, dead?" The unnecessary and inappropriately loud outburst wasn't the main issue here so I let that slide, choosing to focus on something more probing than that...

"Why are you watching me sleep?!" I cried, glaring up into the inquisitive gaze of the potential soccer star who mistook my attempt to help her as a penalty kick. She simply smiled down with another expression I had never noticed before, a relieved smile, far from her usual beaming 1000 watt grin.

She tilted her head to one side and let out an oddly girly laugh, "Well, it's not like I had much choice!"

What? I don't get-

…

Hang on!

Trying to be nonchalant (But failing miserably), I rolled my head to one side only to end up poking Haruhi's stomach with my nose. There was no denying we both flinched and let out startled cries then. In Haruhi's fit of panic she curled her legs up close to her chest, inadvertently throwing my head up, only to crash down against the bed, which even with the soft mattress, was an impact a guy with a concussion really doesn't need.

In a vain effort to push aside the searing pain from my thoughts, I tried to ponder the burning question: How did I end up sleeping on her lap? And why did she let me lay there and not slap me or draw on my face or shave my head or some stupid thing?

This had to be a concussion-induced hallucination! That's right! There's no way the real Haruhi would ever-

"Ow! Why did you pinch me?!"

"You were spacing out again! And besides, what were _you _doing sticking your nose in my business?!"

I could not wince hard enough at that. I mean it was awkward enough without phrasing it like that, Haruhi...Why did you have to go and make it worse? And how was I supposed to know that-

Haruhi crossed her arms and pouted, "Geez, I was only trying to be gentle with you since it was sort of my fault that you got kicked in the face!"

No don't worry, my internal monologue can wait for another time. Wait! _Sort of _your fault? Oh forget it, there's no way of getting through to you. I might as well sit this one out and just wait for the penny to eventually drop a few days later.

"If you were trying to be gentle...Why didn't you let me sleep in the bed? Your knees aren't that comfortable for pillows..."

"Oh shut up! You should feel privileged that your head was able to be so close to-"

I quickly raised my hands in surrender, "Stop! I get it! Thanks anyway...At least you didn't just leave me out there. But it would have been best to take me to the hospital."

Rolling her sleeves up, Haruhi's eyes lit up with fierce determination, "No! I can handle this! Since it was my fault, I, as grand and glorious and gracious leader of the SOS Brigade must take responsibility for my minions!"

How touching.

Her faint smile returned, "See? I even got you out of those dirty clothes and into something clean! Plus I carried you all the way here and checked you over for any serious injuries and-"

"What?! Did you just say you undressed me while I was unconscious?!"

She made a betrayed look and leaned back against the wall, "Hey, I put new clothes on you!"

"That makes no difference! You still...You know that's illegal right?"

"I am above the law!"

"You can't just strip everybody whenever you're bored! I mean Mikuru is one thing but-"

Haruhi dismissed my concerns with a wave of her hand, "It's totally fine! I didn't see anything."

I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a reassurance. I'll just take her word as a reassurance and avoid a domestic dispute. Deciding it's best to drop the topic I quickly skirted around the subject to something else and probably more important than whether or not I may ever be able to get married. Not that that's a huge loss or anything...

"Well, thanks for taking care of me, but seriously I think I should go to the hospital. Your good intentions don't compare to professional medical training."

"No!" she screamed louder than usual and usually she screams loud so...This was ear-splitting to say the least. "I can't let you go to the hospital!"

Fighting the headache from Hell, I feebly replied, "Why?"

"Because!"

I waited for the rest, but it seemed Haruhi was content with her explanation, if it could even be called an explanation.

"Well?"

"Because! I need to talk to you about something!"

My vision was blurring again. "Can't it wait? I'm really not feeling too good right now..." It hurt to speak, resulting in silent wishes for Haruhi to once in her life relent and take me to the hospital.

"No! I won't let you go to the hospital!"

For the first time Haruhi's stubbornness had become dangerous. She really was convinced that her little conversation was more important than whether I live through the night. I mean she has done some stupid things in the past but this...If I wasn't in so much pain I would seriously hit her. This is inexcusable!

"What...Is so bad...About a hospital?" I tried to speak but kept on running short of breath resulting in a laboured string of words that left me more exhausted than ever. My head was spinning so I wasn't really sure what happened, but I'm certain I heard these words come out of Haruhi's mouth...

After a long sigh, she bowed her head and spoke in a voice so quiet I had to strain to hear, "I remember...When you had your fall...We took you to the hospital. I was glad you were safe and all, but they kept you there for so long! You almost missed our Christmas hot pot! They just wouldn't let you leave, even after you were better they continued running tests and checking up on you as if you were so fragile you could fall apart at any moment. It's so stupid!"

It's not stupid. They're just doing their jobs to make sure everyone is healthy...

"It is stupid! The Kyon I know isn't that weak! He isn't so fragile that he'd just fall apart! That's why I didn't like the hospital! Besides, if I take you to the hospital now...They won't let you leave. You'll miss the Battle of the Bands!" Haruhi's eyes seemed to plead for some kind of support, but I couldn't really agree with her. I'll admit waiting in a hospital bed for days on end to the point that time loses meaning does indeed suck, but it's for your own good. It's not some kind of scam or mean trick the doctors pull on their patients! And as for the battle of the bands...

"You can do the show without me...Right?"

Haruhi just shook her head in a frenzy, "No, no, no, no! The band isn't complete without a bass player!"

"What about Miss Tsuruya? Or one of the rock club members? They would be better than me anyway..."

"That's not it! The band isn't complete...Without you..."

My eyes weren't deceiving me. Haruhi was on the verge of tears, clutching the hem of her skirt in her clenched fists and staring down at the floor.

"It's just...Everyone has been trying so hard lately. Mikuru and Yuki have been practising like crazy even when they don't know what they're supposed to be doing, and Koizumi has been going without sleep to try and learn to play the keyboard and you...You skipped school to take lessons..."

Well Mikuru's skills were your own doing, and Nagato doesn't need to practise, she's already a virtuoso. But I guess me and Koizumi have been going the extra mile to catch up without Haruhi's intervention or Nagato's otherworldly powers. But still, why is Haruhi being so humble all of a sudden? Did she hit her head too?

"Kyon, I can't thank you enough for all that you've been doing. And I don't just mean with this Battle of the Bands, I mean all the things we've done...You're always giving it your all and even when it's not enough you never give up!"

Do you have a terminal illness or something? Is that why you're all so sensitive now?

"You know...I give you a rough time every now and then..." Now and then is an understatement, but whatever, this is a step in the right direction I suppose, "But I just want you to know...You're a vital member of the SOS Brigade. Everyone is! That's why...I can't leave anyone behind, ever! You understand now?"

As much as it pained me to do so, I nodded.

Haruhi let out a soft little laugh and glanced out the window to the stars in the sky. The contemplative silence was a bad idea, only giving me a chance to break concentration and start drifting off again. It was best to try and keep the conversation going, at least for a while longer.

"Haruhi?"

Hearing her name seemed to frighten her as she practically jumped at the sound of it, "Huh?"

"I'm fine for now...But tomorrow...I need to see a doctor."

"Hmm? Alright. I'll take you to the doctor's tomorrow! But for now, how about you lie down and get some rest. You should feel better by morning!"

That's pretty optimistic of you. I'm quite sure I'm going to be reeling from that kick for days...

"Come on!" Haruhi managed to half lift the deadweight of my dazed self into a seated position while spinning me around until my head was against the backrest, before gingerly lowering me down to rest. Feeling the pillow against my face was a welcome relief from being sprawled semi-comatose on the mattress.

I simply lay there for a while, wondering when Haruhi would leave, but she ended up sitting on the floor by my side humming a tune to herself that stretched on for what felt like close to an hour.

"Haruhi...Shouldn't you be heading home now? It's pretty dark outside."

She chuckled at that, covering her mouth with her hand despite the fact she was facing away from me. "Now, now, Kyon! It's the witching hour now! I can't head home alone!"

"I thought you liked witches?"

"Humph! Even if I saw one, nobody will believe me if I was alone!"

Oh, I see. So that's why you're so obsessed with the SOS Brigade. You've been living your life searching for aliens and time travellers and espers and just about anything else you would read about in a paranormal magazine, but even if you saw one, you still needed someone else to see it too, someone to believe you...

So that's my purpose in this club without purpose...

That's why Haruhi needs me to be in the band.

I guess it all makes sense now...

But that won't solve my problems.

"Haruhi?"

"Yeah?"

I hesitated for a moment before gaining the courage to ask, "What if we lose this competition?"

For a while she didn't answer, staring at her toes and wriggling them like a child. Then at last she leaned her head back to look up at the ceiling, "Don't worry. We'll win!"

"But...I'm not very good."

"I know, but when you're not very good that just means you can only get better! You see if you are at the top of the ladder then you have nowhere to climb, but if you're down the bottom, then you've got a whole lot of room to climb up!"

"What about all the better musicians out there?"

"Well sure, there are some better players out there, but the underdogs always come through! Just like in the movies!" But life isn't a movie! "You see, we've got something those other guys don't! We've got spirit!"

That's not spirit, that's fear. Fear of losing, fear of being laughed at and worst of all, the fear of losing everything all for a silly little band competition!

Besides, Mio has more spirit than me.

"Don't worry about it. I've got a plan anyway! You're free tomorrow night aren't you?"

What the Hell?

"I'll take that as a yes! You see I've got two tickets for this concert tomorrow and..."

Is this really happening?

"I was wondering..."

She's blushing. She's definitely blushing. Dear God no, this can't be real!

"Do you want to go with me?"

Um…Give me a minute to calm down first...Is this the reason why she wouldn't let me go to the hospital? Just to ask me to go to a concert with her? I know the mind works in mysterious ways but Haruhi's mind is a completely different puzzle altogether.

"What's the occasion?"

She craned her neck and put on a serious face, "Research!"

"Research?"

"Yeah! Why, what did you think it was? A date or something?" My silence answered all. Suddenly that boisterously loud laughter exploded out of her lungs which must have double the capacity of a normal human being to produce such noise. She laughed so hard she fell over and began rolling on the floor.

I rolled my eyes and groaned.

Haruhi was back to normal I suppose...

* * *

Well I hope that was fun for you, please review and tell me what you think!


	10. Gettin Your Shit Together

Have you ever been gently woken by the songs of the birds in the trees outside your window? It's relaxing, soothing, beautiful and a bunch of other nice words. A shame I couldn't wake up to that. Instead, my ears were lightly irritated and gradually assaulted by someone's off-tune humming. It's an annoying habit my little sister has, her usual way of announcing her intrusive entry into my room to fetch Shamisen and through sheer coincidence wake me up every morning.

I simply turned over in my bed and grumbled, though the sound had more to do with the splitting head-ache which seemed to intensify ten-fold by the simple shifting of my head from one side to another.

The humming got louder as the door creaked open.

Then the humming stopped completely.

Then there was a scream.

Memories of the nightmarish hangover I suffered on Koizumi's deserted island manor seemed to rise up at that moment, a similar sensation to the throbbing pain of hammers pounding on my temples.

I shot up. Well not exactly, my movements were considerably slow to try and reduce the pain of moving too fast. By the time I had sat up to face the squealing little creature standing in the doorway it finally became apparent why she was shocked.

Haruhi lay beside my bed on the floor, curled up in a ball and breathing softly. She looked so much like a child as she slept and for moment I was entranced by the innocence of the moment.

But then I realised the kind of misunderstanding the scene might have produced...

"Um...Haruhi and I were just doing...Homework..."

Wow. Try and make things not look suspicious and what do I do? Make things seem more suspicious! Great!

"K-K-K-Kyon! Your face!"

Oh shit, am I blushing?

I wiped my cheek with a hand only to find it slick with blood. For a moment my eyes widened in terror until it dawned on me that my wounds probably just opened up while I was asleep. Still, I guess this would be a shock in the morning considering before I actually woke up it might have looked like I had been murdered in my sleep. Oh well it's easier to explain away than Haruhi's presence in my room...

"Don't worry; I'm going to the doctor's before school. It's fine, just a bloody nose."

My sister looked less than convinced but walked off regardless, albeit with shaky, uneven steps. She even forgot to pick up Shamisen, but I think he got the message since the usually lazy cat got up of his own accord and trotted after her.

"Hmm?" Somehow, having slept through all that screaming earlier, Haruhi only woke up when silence had returned to the house.

Unsure of what to say, but sure enough that I should still say something, I uttered the first words to come to mind, "Good morning."

Haruhi didn't answer.

She was asleep again...

There was no helping shaking my head at that. Regardless of the sleeping beauty it seemed best to wash the blood off my face before another unwarranted fright was issued. I draped the blankets over Haruhi's sleeping form and wandered off to the bathroom to have a shower.

The cold water had a healing effect on my migraine and it seemed to disappear by the time the hot water turned on. The sight of one's blood pouring down a sink is understandably unsettling, but worst is peeling the crusted dried stuff from your face. You know how annoying it is to peel off a Band-Aid? Well imagine that but ten times worse!

Eventually satisfied that I would be able to go to school without giving the impression I had starred in a snuff film I got ready for school, all the while waiting for Haruhi to wake up. They say to let sleeping dogs lie and though Haruhi may not be a dog, she still has a bite worse than her bark. Not wanting to tempt fate and get hurt again I just went about my normal day-to-day routine as if there wasn't a girl sleeping in my room.

When all that was done I started to play a few of the songs Mio had taught me, unplugged of course. I had no access to an amp at home since music never ran in my family enough to accommodate for it. Somehow, the stirring sounds of music lulled the sleepy maiden from her dreams and brought her back into the real world.

She blinked a few times before staring at the instrument in my hands and possibly trying to process how anything remotely musical had emanated from it whilst in my hands. She couldn't have hid her surprise if she tried (she didn't.) Her head bobbed in time with the music which was unusually adorable and an amused smile appeared.

"Wow! That was actually good! Your training paid off!"

"Well, my tutor is pretty good..." An understatement to say the least.

"Humph! We're totally ready to take on this competition!" An overstatement to say the least.

"Not really. We still don't even have any songs sorted out. And even when we do, we need to practice together so we know what to do."

"Well duh! That's why we're having a band meeting today!" Haruhi giggled and leapt up to her feet with the energy of someone who had been high on something for the last few hours, a far cry from the sleeping child from only a few minutes ago.

"So, we should get going early if I'm to see the doctor before school..." I instinctively rubbed my forehead even though the pain had pretty much subsided since the shower earlier.

* * *

The doctor's office was empty so early in the morning so we didn't have to wait long, which was great for many reasons, one of which being Haruhi's boundless energy and decibel decimatingly loud voice really weren't suited for waiting rooms. Another of them being the fact that Haruhi's short attention span would lead to havoc in the event of us having to wait any longer than ten minutes for anything. Actually, a lot of the reasons revolved around her. I guess the short version is that Haruhi is a liability in public...

Anyway, the check-up went well. Aside from the embarrassing and stupid lies crafted to dodge the fact that I was snap kicked in the face while trying to get my friend out of the garden, there were no problems. And so, as far as the doctors are concerned, I simply tripped down some stairs and head-butted the railing.

Regardless though, of what had caused it, the doctor was confident I would make a speedy recovery. Since I hadn't shown any strong signs of concussion in the last few hours then I should be fine according to him. That was a relief to hear.

Migraines aren't the best when you're supposed to be performing on-stage.

Still, for safe measure I was given some painkillers for the head-aches.

Due to the short wait to be seen and the straight-forward check-up we managed to get to school well in time for the first bell. The day flew by so fast I was stuck wondering where the time had gone while trudging up the stairs towards the clubroom...The Rock Club's room that is.

Like all the others times we had laid siege to the Rock Club's facilities I had to dodge angry stares and all manner of mumbled curses and insults while passing through the gauntlet of dethroned musicians. Despite being unable to conduct their club's activities they still enjoyed making us suffer by watching us struggle and constantly fail in our generously labelled 'rehearsals'.

However they seemed pleasantly surprised by our improvements as everyone worked the kinks out of their instruments. Thankfully it seemed the first hurdle of getting to know how to play our instruments had been cleared. A shame we only had three days left until the actual competition, but nonetheless, this meeting was, according to Haruhi's logic-defying optimism, our chance to somehow incur the metamorphosis from awkward beginners to rock stars.

I highly doubt that, but we can at least find a direction to follow...

Mikuru was overjoyed to see me, most likely over-thinking my absence like Haruhi did. Koizumi simply waved from across the room and offered his Sunday morning salesman smile which pissed me off to no end. Nagato just...Looked at me for a moment with that dead stare of hers before looking down at her guitar.

After setting up, everyone seemed to glance around the group at one another, unsure of where to go next. The next problem had arrived. So what if we can passably play our instruments by ourselves? We haven't played as a band, nor have we decided on a song to play!

But then Haruhi revealed the ace up her sleeve.

It turned out she had been in contact with the girls from ENOZ a couple of days ago. She had asked whether it would be ok to cover one of their songs and they were practically over the moon, saying it was all they could do to thank her for standing in and saving their cultural festival performance.

Since Haruhi and Nagato were well aware of how to play the song, all that was left was to teach Koizumi and me while the incidental maid-turned-drum-machine would simply work it out as we go along due to Haruhi's forcefully wishful thinking which turned her into a perfect percussionist in the first place.

Even with three days, it seemed for the first time since we started this wild spur-of-the-moment journey that we could actually stand a chance. If we practised then surely we could pass the first round without the need to resort to sabotage! Both the world and Mio would be safe from harm!

I was so happy I could have kissed her, but my rationality recovered before I could make a fool of myself.

Standing proud atop a table with her arms crossed and a fierce smile, Haruhi fished a scrunched up mess of paper from her skirt pocket. What eventually unfolded from her hands was the sheet music for our song. Upon closer inspection they were all hand-written.

Haruhi must have spent hours writing all this out.

Although it was fairly simple to pick up after my extensive lessons with Mio, it dawned on me that songs are so much easier to learn face to face rather than on a sheet of paper. Despite this, I struggled on with the neatly scribbled notes on the paper, waiting for someone to pick up on my slow progress as opposed to directly asking for help.

Soon enough Haruhi stormed over with her guitar in hand.

"Kyon! Have you still not learned the verse part? It's dead easy!"

"For you maybe. I'm still a beginner."

"Of course you are! With that attitude you won't get anywhere!"

It's not attitude, it's fact.

With a sigh, Haruhi sat on the amplifier against the wall opposite me and played through the riff. After carefully observing the subtle movements of her skinny little fingers I tried to imitate the pattern myself, only to stumble and fail.

Frustrated Haruhi repeated the riff. Unfortunately with every misstep on my part her repetitions became faster and faster as she became rapidly impatient with my slow progress. It was time to pack up and leave before Haruhi was even mildly satisfied but still she uttered an ungracefully loud word of thanks to her loyal (Out of necessity, not duty) SOS Brigade.

Nagato vanished before I could even begin to question whether or not to try and talk to her so instead I chatted with Koizumi while waiting for Haruhi and Mikuru to finish putting away some equipment.

"So, how have you been going with your instrument? Any progress?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah, sort of. I have a tutor from out of town who gave me some lessons. I think it helped a lot for what it's worth, but still not enough yet to get through this competition."

Koizumi made a sound as if he was concerned but his smiling face never twitched a muscle, "Hmm, well we still have some time left to practice. Besides, we seem to be the only ones struggling. Miss Suzumiya, Miss Asahina and Miss Nagato are more than ready to compete."

"Yeah, once again I'm the one struggling to catch up. But at least I'm not the only one this time. It's good to know your Agency doesn't have a fail-safe for every situation we encounter."

Koizumi let out a hearty chuckle and that's right, you guessed it, smiled! "Well, the Agency provided funds to buy a keyboard for myself and hired a tutor for me as well. It seems our strategies are much the same."

"I wouldn't really call it a strategy..."

"Ha ha ha, me neither."

…

You just did...

"Alright!" Haruhi's boastful declaration seemed to make my hair stand on edge. It also signalled the end to our conversation. Not much of a shame, but at least Koizumi knows how to use an inside voice so it's not like speaking face-to-face with a megaphone.

"So, Kyon, you're still up for tonight aren't you?"

"You mean the 'research'? Yeah, sure, it's a date."

"It's not a date you moron! I told you it's research!" cried Haruhi whilst stamping her feet like a cartoon character.

Never mind the fact that what I said was a figure of speech and not a...Oh why bother explaining? Haruhi is stupid and that's that!

"Oh yes, once again, I'm sorry I can't make it," Koizumi bowed before his master like a good dog, "but my lessons are on at the same time and for the good of the competition I must not miss a single one!"

With a dismissive wave of the hand Haruhi graciously let him off the hook, leaving me to be her slave for the rest of the day. But then again, that's not much of a change from usual now is it? It's the same game, just a different backdrop. Whatever...A concert will be fun anyway. Haruhi can study whatever the Hell it is she is studying to her heart's content while I simply enjoy myself and relax for a while. It will be good to take my mind off of all this mess, if only for a few hours.

Even the SOS Brigade mascot had plans, it seemed.

"Oh, um...I'm sorry I can't make it either. Miss Tsuruya said she had some important business with me so I'm staying over at her house." Miss Asahina seemed to be apologising to me more so than Haruhi. Her sweet down-turned face and wide lamb's eyes made my heart flutter.

It would have been fun if someone else could have tagged along, but I guess as usual everybody is busy so it's up to me to the dirty work, not that this is work is really dirty. I mean a night out with a girl (regardless of how infuriating and embarrassing she is) is bound to be fun right?

* * *

Well that might be it until next month. That's right I'm leaving you on a cliffy of sorts while I go on a month long hiatus for NaNoWriMo! But maybe I'll be able to update mid November, we'll see how it goes. Anyway thanks for reading and please remember to review!


	11. Into the Underground

Well I did promise a mid-November update, so here it is! Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Meet at the train station at 6:30. That's what she said. Having been faced with such meetings many a time in the past I decided to show up extra early so I could arrive before Haruhi and thus not have to be faced with the punishment game that seems to inexplicably favour the hip pocket as its victim of choice.

Sitting at home and rubbing the slight bump on my forehead I couldn't resist looking back on what was surely the strangest night of my entire life. An entirely new side to Haruhi had shown itself, one I never knew existed. It's not as hard to comprehend that the excessively eccentric oddball named Haruhi Suzumiya could be some kind of world altering phenomenal being I mean, it's not like she acts like a normal person or gives off the vibe of any other human being I've ever met.

But when faced with a decidedly human side of her, suddenly I began to doubt whether everything I had gone through with the SOS Brigade was real or just a hallucination. Perhaps from the very beginning, when Haruhi slammed my head on the desk and shared her bright idea to join the club, maybe I got a concussion and just dreamed all of our adventures.

But my wallet seemed to beg otherwise...

I took some of the headache medicine the doctor gave me that morning and washed them down with a glass of water. After another cold shower to clear my muddled head I came across the ever difficult conundrum of what I should wear to the concert.

Haruhi never even told me what band we were going to see! Haruhi has some unusual tastes...I'm sure if I turned up to a death metal concert without the typical hint of black or some kind of occult symbol on me I'd probably suffer for it. But...maybe it will just be a normal concert? Or am I hoping for too much? I guess wishing for the obvious or normal option is always just asking for the moon when Haruhi is involved...

Regardless I just settled for whatever the Hell was sitting at the top of my drawers and set off for the station, hoping to arrive an hour early. Unfortunately, I encountered a problem before even leaving the house...

My mobile started to sing. Actually, it didn't sing, more like wailed in a tinny piercing voice. I didn't check the caller I.D and just simply answered the call. It was definitely a surprise to hear Mio's voice on the other end.

"Hey Kyon!"

"Oh, hi Mio. What do you want?"

I sensed a hint of trepidation in her tone as she hesitantly answered the question, "Well...I was wondering if you had plans tonight?"

…

Oh come on, don't do this! Don't do this! Why now?!

"Uh...I...I..."

Damn it! I can't let Haruhi down, not this late in the game anyway. She's probably halfway to the station already, expecting me to buy her a drink and pay for her train ticket. But I don't want to upset Mio either. If it was just something simple she wouldn't be ringing a friend from out of town. She obviously was expecting me to do whatever it is she had planned...

But...

I guess this is where I have to tip the scales. To allow for me to spare Mio in the battle of the bands this Saturday I have to make keep Haruhi in high spirits and distract her for the days leading up to it. I'll end up disappointing both of them ultimately...But if I can at least make them both happy at some point as well, then everything will balance out, right?

Oh crap, Haruhi's delusional optimism is infectious!

"Kyon?"

Ugh! Here goes nothing...Take a deep breath and-

"Um...I'm sorry Mio but I've got some stuff I have to do tonight."

There was silence on the other end. I bashed my head against the wall and instantly regretted it.

"Oh...Ok, that's fine. I was just asking." She sure as Hell didn't sound fine. Her voice lost its life and left her sounding like a broken speaker.

"I'm really sorry."

"No, no, don't be! It's not your fault. Besides, you're still coming to see me on Saturday right?"

"Ha ha ha, you bet!"

"Great! At least I'll see you then!"

She was definitely disappointed.

I wasn't in much of a mood for running to the station anymore...

* * *

"Late! Penalty!"

It was 6:15 by the time I arrived at the station. Haruhi, who already stood out by yelling and screaming only stood out more in her...Outfit. A frilly black skirt flowed down around her snowy white thighs held in place by a studded leather belt which appeared thicker than her slender arms. Despite the cold, Haruhi simply wore something of a corset of white lace. Regardless of how little of her body it covered it must have been amazingly expensive.

"Wow...That's some outfit."

Haruhi smiled smugly and puffed her chest out, which really wasn't necessary since the corset was doing a good enough job of that by itself. I noticed I wasn't the only male on the railway platform that was staring. Hell, even the girls were staring. Even the old ladies were eyeing this out of place young succubus.

I'm going to have to be careful on the train-ride with Haruhi...

Actually it's probably more accurate to say I'll have to be careful absolutely everywhere with Haruhi...

"You're the late one so I demand you buy me a drink! Or are you just going to stare at me all day?"

Well there goes being subtle. Haruhi's outfit was amazing and visions of Miss Asahina and her fashion model body dressed the same began to flit through my mind. Honestly thought it suited Haruhi really well. It didn't beg for attention so much as demand it by just being there, as if not looking and paying attention was an unforgivable crime. And just like Haruhi, it stood out in a crowd and drew stunned gazes from onlookers. There wasn't anything better suited for her I must say.

While collecting the cans of juice from the vending machine I inadvertently glanced down at my own simple jeans and shirt and frowned. I looked like Haruhi's roadie. Well, I guess that is true though. Roadies are the guys behind the scenes who nobody really takes notice of and yet without them there would be no show.

I really am the roadie of the SOS Brigade.

Unfortunately her backstage rider consisted of just a can of juice but she gratefully accepted it (Read as 'snatched'.)

The train was fairly busy but we managed to find a quiet spot in the rear carriage and settled in comfortably. I gave Haruhi a sidelong glance and grinned, "Are you a fan or are you trying to upstage the performers themselves by wearing that?

"What? I'm simply dressing for the occasion! You must arm yourself for battle and a rock concert is one of the greatest battles a man must face!"

Dress for battle huh? Doesn't look like you've got much armour on you.

"Oh shut up! You're supposed to compliment a woman's outfit."

"Fine, it looks great on you."

"Oh yeah, you sounded so enthusiastic!"

"Well it was kind of forced I must admit..."

"It shouldn't have to be forced! The words should come naturally, just like the beauty of a young maiden."

You're talking about yourself there aren't you?

Haruhi sniffed and looked out the window, seemingly a little pissed. "Geez, no wonder you're so lonely!"

"Well, if I wasn't lonely I wouldn't be coming out on a 'research' trip with you would I? So I think it ended up in your favour in the end."

That made her go quiet.

For a while we just watched the night-time world fly by out the window but at some point something really began to bug me and I had to get it off my chest.

"Who are we going to see anyway? You never told me."

As if waking up from a dream Haruhi jolted in her seat and jerked her head around to face me. Calm down, it's a simple question and nothing more.

"Huh? Oh right. You remember me saying I met the ENOZ girls the other day? Well they gave me two tickets to their show, just like they said they would!"

Actually, I sort of remember the day after the cultural festival when the girls were thanking Haruhi and they did indeed offer to let her come to a show. In fact if I remember right...

"_You should come along to one of our shows. You can bring your boyfriend too!"_

A harmless misunderstanding at the time. Haruhi's constant dragging me around would give the impression we were together. It seemed the misunderstanding hasn't dissipated over time however since that second ticket must have been intended for me from the very beginning. That must be why Haruhi asked around everyone else first before settling for me, hoping to avoid the inevitable mishap of showing up with me at her side, only adding fuel to the fire in the imagination of the ENOZ girls.

Oh well...

"And where are they playing?"

"It's a live house a few towns over. It's only a small place but it has a reputation amongst up and coming bands as being a good stepping stone towards success. Bands from all over the area go there to make a name for themselves. Once we win this competition we should be able to book a gig real easy!"

You've planned quite far ahead this time. That's a first, I'm sure.

That's not good though. The reckless Haruhi I know and was technically counting on wouldn't even think of the future aside from the always impossible goal that sets her off in the first place. When you don't plan things through it gets harder and harder to carry them out, which is why you're so fond of jumping ship once the first step has been crossed.

That's why you would hopefully give up on the band thing after realising it is too hard, even for our mighty SOS Brigade.

But if Haruhi is making plans for _after _the battle of the bands then that means this whole ordeal is far from over...

I quietly brooded over this fact while staring out the window until at last Haruhi alerted me that it was our stop. I was never really paying attention for the ride so I had no clue where we were, just trusting Haruhi would know the way.

It was a short walk until we found a street corner packed full of people that were, as Haruhi had so eloquently put it, 'dressed for battle'. That's the place.

With nothing else to do while waiting in line I studied the poster on the wall of a neighbouring shop. Sure enough ENOZ was there on the bill, albeit fairly low, but for a band only just starting their career that's to be expected. None of the other names seemed to ring any bells though one of them certainly struck me as odd.

"Death Devil?" I read aloud.

Hmm, sounds cute...

All of a sudden, Haruhi bounced towards me like a puppy wanting a treat, "So Kyon, are you ready?"

Depends on if you remembered to bring the other ticket for me or not.

"I guess so. What exactly are we supposed to be researching here anyway?"

"Everything!" said Haruhi with boastful pride. How she was satisfied with such an answer I'll never know since her response only left me further in the dark. At least she managed to detect my inability to understand her and decided to elaborate. "It's the experience! Observe their skills, the way they interact with the crowd, their moves, their banter...Everything! Learn from them and apply it to our performance!"

"Ok, fair enough. I'm ready."

"Great! By the way I'll be assessing your performance on this mission! If you score enough points I might just promote you from minion to chief minion!"

Where to begin with that one? How am I supposed to score points? Since when has there been a hierarchy in the SOS Brigade other than you holding dominion over everyone else and what kind of promotion is minion to chief minion?! That's like promoting rubbish to garbage.

"Ooh, the doors are opening! Here we go!"

Something grabbed me and I was quite about ready to flinch until I realised it was simply Haruhi keeping hold of me so we wouldn't get lost as the great amassed crowd outside suddenly surged forward towards the double steel doors on the corner. At least I'm pretty sure she was doing it to not get lost, but the giddy giggling of an over-excited hyperactive Haruhi was harder to interpret.

"Someone's excited..."

"Of course I am! Aren't you?"

Yeah...Try as I might to not get swept up in Haruhi's enthusiasm this was getting to be pretty interesting. Having never really gone to any proper concerts before I couldn't help but smile as we marched through the doors and down into the darkened underground beyond...


	12. The Pits

Usually when you march blindly into a dark corridor you would feel a little freaked out, maybe even going as far as terrified. They are natural reactions to the unknown, but recently my reactions to the unknown had been decidedly against the norm. With Haruhi tugging on my sleeve to ensure she wasn't lost in the surging sea of human bodies I was unwittingly jerked around between the momentum of the crowd and Haruhi pulling me back to her side.

I had to apologise at least a dozen times as Haruhi swung me around like a morning star to clear a path for herself. Thankfully even as the crowd pressed thicker and thicker into the narrow corridor she managed to remain standing out.

While everyone else blended into a darkened mass of flesh the shining beacon that was Haruhi remained blazing amidst the dark. I know that sounds poetic but it was simply due to her snowy white flesh (of which there was much to see in her outfit, I might add) standing out against the black shirts of just about everyone else.

"Kyon! Wait up! You had better not leave me behind or I'll have your head!"

With an order like that I reluctantly went against the flow again and stood still until Haruhi was in step with me once more.

Unfortunately she fell behind as soon as we started moving again.

"Oh for god's sake come here!"

I'm not exactly sure what made me do what I did. Perhaps I was too over-excited about the show and like an anxious child was too impatient to stand around all night. Whatever it was that compelled me, I shot an arm out and draped it over Haruhi's bare shoulders.

The sensation of her skin against mine was indescribable so it was hard to tell whether I was being repelled like same poles on a magnet, or drawn in like a fish on a hook. Too many metaphors at once? Alright I'll let you catch your breath.

Haruhi's expression was one of surprise. Not the good kind. Her face resembled that of someone who had just been confronted with a knife-wielding maniac. Her eyes went wide and her lips parted into a scream that never made it.

"K-Kyon?! What are you doing?!" she cried like the unwanted passenger in a getaway car.

I simply smiled a smug smile and marched on towards the attendant standing at the convergence point of the crowd which was already beginning to smell of sweat. She greeted us with a smile of her own as she checked our tickets and stepped aside for us to enter the club.

A small barrier fence stood between the main floor of the live house and the stage. Two guards with bodies shaped like overly muscular balls stood at each end of the stage with their arms crossed, looking like they would rather be anywhere but here.

Haruhi was still yelling in my ear but I had long since stopped paying attention because I couldn't care less about whether she was angry or not at being carried past the crowd. If I had continued waiting on her like a concerned father we would be the last ones through to the hall. With my intervention we managed to score positions five rows from the front. At least from here we would be able to see the bands clearly, though considering the size of the place I doubt anyone would have trouble.

The main floor of the live house appeared to take up about as much space as a larger classroom at our school. How all of the people outside could manage to fit inside was beyond me but sure enough it happened.

The lights were off and the only sounds to be heard was the excited chatter of the people. I expected Haruhi to be storming over the barrier fence to get backstage, but she was oddly subdued, standing to attention like a soldier with her eyes staring dead ahead.

The heat in the club suddenly rose to feel like I was standing in an oven. My shirt was already beginning to stick to my back when suddenly a deep roar emanated from the crowd, growing from what was at first the slightest snarl to steadily build up into a mighty roar. Following the cue I yelled along jumping up and down whilst chanting the name of the first band.

"Death Devil! Death Devil! Death Devil!"

Still unsure what a band with such a name might sound like I let my imagination run wild until Haruhi elbowed my ribs and pointed over the heads of the people in front of us.

"There! I saw something!"

Sure enough a vague silhouette had appeared on-stage. As the lights bled out onto the floor a woman wearing a matching red corset and skirt and a hell of a lot of leather took her place by the front of the stage. She looked fairly young, at least from what I could see of her which was...

Never mind.

A long mane of brown hair interspersed with bright streaks flowed down over her face and her ample cleavage. Between her hands she held an expensive looking guitar with a V-shaped body. I'm sure a real musician would be able to identify it from sight but being nothing more than an amateur I can only call it 'expensive looking'.

While one hand remained affixed to the neck of her guitar the other rose up to brush the hair from her face, revealing ghostly pale cheeks. Despite looking quite beautiful she maintained a vicious scowl as she snatched the microphone between her tightly clenched fingers and roared with the ferocity of a tiger.

"Are you ready to die?"

While the rest of the crowd got hyped up I hung back on my heels and silently wished for my continued health and a long life.

"Alright! Let's do this!"

After a brief count-in an unholy explosion of sound erupted from the gigantic speakers on either side of the band who all seemed to wear similarly outlandish outfits. Their fingers disappeared as they clawed away at the fretboard, notes screaming out so fast I couldn't even begin to follow them.

Their skill was incredible even if the sheer wall of sound was preventing much of it from entering my ears. Regardless it was energising to say the least. I could see the fire in the crowd's eyes as many of them became lost to a frenzy. Even Haruhi was following along with the whole body spasms that seemed to afflict the others. I think they call it head-banging, though with Haruhi and her deadly kicks that word can take on an entirely different meaning...

With a shrug I followed suit, feeling a wonderful rush of adrenaline despite my brain rolling about inside my skull. For a moment the entire world seemed to disintegrate into a void as I was taken away by the experience. Though that might have just been delirium and hallucination, not catharsis.

I'm not exactly sure what was going on, but I was enjoying it nonetheless.

I had plenty of reasons to complain. The music was far too loud, people kept on bumping into me and I was cramped into a tight spot by walls of humans on all sides to the point that I was glad I'm not claustrophobic.

But none of that mattered.

I moved to speak to Haruhi only to find her gone. She was running off with everyone else around me. Stuck in the middle of the giant circle of running fans I considered my options.

I could stand here and hope to avoid any misfortune, though chances are I will be obliterated by the maelstrom of maniacal fans. On the other hand like a civilian caught in the middle of the running of the bulls I could simply do what everyone else is doing. Though that path also leads to a collision further down the line, of that I am certain.

I went with the latter.

Was this a mosh pit? I've heard of them before though I've never known what they were. But are they usually big circles like this? Oh screw it, its fun anyway!

Like a headless chicken I ran about with utterly no clue as to what I should have been doing, simply letting the adrenalin drain away while constantly getting pumped right back up by Death Devil's frenetic audible assault.

I was never one for metal, but these girls were definitely talented and for what it's worth I was having the time of my life regardless of what they were playing. If we could even reach a fraction of this feeling amongst the crowd when we perform at the battle of the bands then we will have achieved something.

"I want that pit to devour the whole damn room! Fight for your life you worthless pigs!" commanded the frightening yet feminine front-woman.

As with most times I'm given an unreasonable request, I complied. In fact fighting for your life became more prevalent as the pit compressed itself tighter and attackers came rushing in from all sides. Bouncing around like the ball in a pinball machine my body was launched from one person to another, flailing about, lost.

The audience had initiated its own demolition derby and everyone was going mad, driven by a mysterious lust for carnage that was even beginning to infect me.

After taking enough hits and learning the cues from the others I began to fight back at the faceless assailants, charging at them and hurling myself into the fray like a human wrecking ball.

For the most part it was perfectly fine. Despite still being confused and a little afraid it was like a game really and ignoring the fact that I suck at P.E this game was an enjoyable one whether I was doing it right or not.

Unfortunately, most games come to an end when someone gets hurt and...

It had to be _her_ didn't it?

With a sound like thunder two bodies collided with an almighty thud and both were sent flying backwards into the melee, knocking others down in a strange domino effect.

Possibly seeing the pile-up from her vantage-point on-stage the front-woman let out a devilish howl of laughter and yelled something unintelligible to my head which was spinning. The song continued but when it came to an end, at having realised that some of the fallen still hadn't gotten back up and that half of the crowd was pooling around the downed few, all the band members paused and glanced down upon the mess.

"We have a dead body already?" the front-woman asked with a nervous laugh, obviously trying her best to maintain her stage persona despite being very worried.

"What happened?" the other guitarist asked, stepping forward to see over the heads of the audience.

While struggling to stay upright with the fluid in my head swilling around uncontrollably I stumbled around through the now motionless crowd towards the large opening where several people were still on the ground.

I was stunned to have recognised both of them straight away. But astonishment soon turned to horror at the implications of the meeting I had been dreading all this time.

"Mio?!" Even though my ears were ringing my frightened cry was plain to hear.

Dazedly the injured young girl looked up at me, waiting for the face to register in her mind. Her reaction was minimal though that was understandable considering she had just faced a knock-out blow from Haruhi Suzumiya, a girl infamous for her brain-numbing attacks.

Haruhi herself was helped into a seated position by three guys who were thankfully more concerned about her injuries than her skimpy outfit which was a relief at least. She looked to be having an out of body experience of sorts but knowing Haruhi she would be on her feet in a few minutes anyway.

Mio on the other hand...

"She's bleeding!"

"Are you alright?"

"Step back, give her some air!"

So many people were giving instructions at once, but the thick soup of words made no sense to my ears. Simply moving by instinct my legs propelled an unresponsive body towards Mio. Waving aside the others I stooped down to face her, offering a kind smile.

"Where does it hurt?"

Mio pointed sluggishly at her head. A thin trail of blood trickled down from her hairline. Brushing some of the strands away sure enough there was a gash just above her forehead. With a hand on each shoulder I helped her up into a crouch.

"Can you stand?"

"Mm-hmm"

"Alright, let's get some fresh air then."

Leading the lost little lamb outside I had almost forgotten about Haruhi. But by then I was already past the ticket booth and beyond the point of no return. There was no way I was going to run back for Haruhi at this point. I could hear her yelling, (probably ready to go on the warpath against whoever dared to knock her down) so she must have been fine.

I hope...

* * *

The music was still audible from outside in the frigid night air. Each exhaled breath released a fine white mist which for some time occupied my interest while Mio was recuperating beside me. Together we sat against the wall of the club, me staring up at the sky and Mio staring down at her hands. I had to say something...

"Well, this is a surprise. I never thought you were into this sort of music."

"I...Uh...I'm not a metal-head or anything! It's just-"

"Don't freak out, it's not like I care what music you like anyway."

"No, it's just...Our teacher is in that band."

"Death Devil? I never would have guessed." I seriously wouldn't have...

"The front-woman. She's our supervisor for the Light Music Club and also our home-room teacher. We came to support her."

"We? You don't mean-"

"Aha~! There you are!" A voice as irresponsibly loud as Haruhi's exploded in my eardrum, leaving me reeling from her sonic assault. A demon with a yellow hair band and eyes alight as fire. The devious clone of our tempestuous Brigade leader...

"Ristu."

"Ah, you know my name! You know my weakness!"

What the hell are you talking about?

"I thought you might try and take advantage of our sweet Mio out in these dark streets so I rushed out to rescue her!" Ritsu puffed her chest out and crossed her arms with a prideful look on her face. In the very next instant she was pointing an accusing finger and yelling, "Unhand her!"

The likeness to Haruhi was unbelievable. So much so that I had to blink a few times to register the fact that this girl was indeed somebody different. That was until I realised I was seeing double and that Haruhi herself was suddenly standing beside her twin separated at birth. She placed her hands on her hips and issued a stern frown, an ill omen to say the least.

"Kyon! What are you doing out here?! I was looking all over for you!"

"Sorry, Mio needed to get out of the crowd for a few minutes so I-"

"Mio?!" Uh oh, I just gave it away that I know her. I wasn't planning on revealing the ace up my sleeve so soon. Haruhi's face took on a paler shade at the unfamiliar name, "That's the girl who attacked me! How dare you fraternise with the enemy!"

"I'm not fraternising, I'm just-"

"You left your Brigade Leader for dead to help out her assassin instead?! Explain yourself!"

"Yeah, explain yourself!" Ritsu echoed despite probably having not the faintest clue as to what was going on. Though like me she was probably confused as to whether this argument was even serious at all.

Still, I'm trying to explain myself but you won't let me finish-

"Get over here right this instant!" demanded Haruhi in the style of a strict mother, "I won't have you jumping ship so close to our big moment!"

"Wait just a minute would you? She's hurt alright? It wouldn't be right to just leave her like this." So says my voice of reason, but as usual the voice of reason isn't tuned to Haruhi's frequency. Meeting my words with a blank template of fuming anger, Haruhi simply waited out the end of my response for her turn to snap back.

"What about me? I got knocked down too!" she shook her head and her fists in unison as if they were connected somehow, "How dare you just up and leave me when I'm injured?"

I finally rose to my feet, anger flaring to match that of the clueless self-centred girl before me. "But you aren't injured! You're having a tantrum like you usually do so you must be fine."

"You didn't even check if I was okay!"

"I didn't have to!"

"But what if I was hurt?"

"I don't care! Just shut up dammit! Shut up!"

My roar drowned out even the music from inside and echoed throughout the empty streets. All eyes were on me, aghast expressions on all counts.

Whatever...

I've had enough. I'm going home.


	13. Out of Tune

I can't believe this! How could such a fun night end so horribly? I completely lost my high spirits from the concert and no matter how hard I would have tried I just wouldn't be able to get back into it. Haruhi's outrageously childish behaviour is just too much.

I needed a breather.

I feel bad for abandoning Mio, but as long as Ritsu is there she should be fine. As foolish as that girl is she must be a good friend for Mio to have put up with her for so long. I wish I could say the same for Haruhi, but honestly at this point the only thing driving my involvement in Haruhi's overblown scheme is the sheer necessity of it. If she didn't have such unusual potential and was just a normal stuck-up, selfish narcissist I would simply palm her off to the next unfortunate to deal with her.

Shit!

Why am I so angry?

Need to calm down. Catch my breath...

Where is the train station anyway? It was only a few blocks from the venue; surely I should have found it by now?

Unless...

No, that's so stupid it couldn't possibly be true! Don't tell me I stormed off in the wrong direction?! I can't be lost! I mean I'm really not in the mood for this and besides, I'm too exhausted to stumble around the town all night. If I just retrace my steps then...

Hmm, which street did I just come out of?

…

Oh no...

No, no, no, no, no...

I can't be...

* * *

Several hours of drifting aimlessly in the dark and I still couldn't find the train station. With uniform buildings in just about every street there were no guiding landmarks to make things any easier. I could have sworn I had entered this very same street three times now but it's impossible to tell.

There were no passers-by at such a late hour and the traffic was minimal. The streets were practically empty.

Worst of all my argument with Haruhi continued to get in the way of any semblance of rational thought leaving me stumbling blind through the unknown streets to further dig my own grave. Rather than whole-heartedly focus on escaping the concrete jungle I became increasingly preoccupied with the confrontation outside the live house.

I don't know how much time had passed, just knowing that I was utterly drained from that concert, the fight and however long I'd been out here wandering unguided through streets I've never heard of.

No more...

I can't go on.

Need to rest...

There, a cosy little street corner tucked away from the road. A cold, yet welcoming park bench. It may not be the most comfortable futon I've ever slept on but none of that will matter when I pass out.

I hug my knees and grit my teeth as the cold air seeps through my clothes to issue its icy breath upon my flesh. The shivering won't stop but I push it from my mind, once again thinking of Haruhi. My mind wanders to her somewhat unusual (More-so than usual) behaviour lately; searching for a cause but coming up empty. I stop thinking too hard when my brain goes numb. No longer able to feel my fingers I tuck them into my stomach and curl my legs up further, but it does little to shield against the cold. Soon enough I see my hands turn blue.

It's frightening but I'm far beyond the point of moving now. I can only lie there and wait for the sun to come up and burn away the frost gathering on my lips.

With a sigh, I close my eyes, hoping to at least get some sleep.

But then it started to rain...

* * *

It's warm. Really warm. Is this supposed to be what death feels like? It's actually kind of nice. I could get to like this place of darkness, with its blazing fires to stave away the damned cold which must have killed me in the first place.

Wait...Heat? Fire?

Why am I in Hell?!

Boisterous laughter reverberated through the darkness but I couldn't see anything even with my eyes open wide. It seems perpetual blindness awaits me so I'll have to use my imagination. That's not so bad though, everybody in this place can be Miss Asahina in my mind's eye. Yeah that's pretty good!

Suddenly the laughter got closer and heavenly light spilled across my field of vision. Blinded by the great white brightness I moved to shield my eyes, however the light was obscured by a figure hovering above me.

A warm smiling face, so unlike that person that it only further convinced me that this strange place was the afterlife.

"Haruhi?"

"Huh?"

"You follow me in the afterlife as well? Can I ever find peace?"

She laughed again and sat back, allowing me to take in the surroundings. This was an unusual afterlife; styled after a simple house with adequate furnishings and a kotatsu which I was buried under. Suddenly the dots managed to connect themselves to paint a most unsightly of pictures.

Death had indeed spared me.

Not only that, it was that Ritsu girl who had saved me. Assuming that I owe her for this I can't possibly punish her for her stupid pranks on Mio now! Dammit! But at least the silver lining is the fact I get to stay alive. Despite achieving many things that would be forever uncrossed on most people's bucket lists I wasn't yet ready to be freed from my Earthly bonds.

In fact the Earth kind of depends on me hanging around and wasting my time so...Yeah there's a lot riding on my continued survival.

"Where am I?"

Ritsu blinked, "My house."

"Why?" It seemed Ritsu and Haruhi both failed to understand the importance of hospitals.

"Well you were about ready to kick the bucket when I finally found you. You were sprawled out on a park bench soaked to the bone and about as blue as..." she looked around the room for a moment and pointed to a light blue cardigan sitting atop a pile of clothes on a hamper in the corner, "That. Yeah that's about right! Pretty much that kind of blue!"

You sound very concerned.

"At first I thought you were a goner! But then I heard you whimpering in your sleep and realised you were alive. I brought you to my house since it was close-by and then I nursed you back to health! Impressed?" Ritsu sat cross-legged on the floor, rocking back and forth with a sparkling grin that threatened to blind those who stared directly at it.

"So, you can do nice things. My impression from our past meetings was that you were just an annoying brat."

"Humph! That's how you treat the person who saved you from certain death?"

Well if you gave me the chance I was going to say thank you. I just had to get that off my chest…

"Eh, it doesn't matter. I didn't do it for you." I instinctually checked for my wallet and phone. "I did it for Mio. She was really upset."

Then I blushed.

Oh boy, I don't even want to think about what Haruhi must have done to her after I ran off. In fact right now I don't want to think about Haruhi full stop. She's caused enough madness lately and I could really do with a break. But unfortunately the question had to be asked of what that childish fiend had done so I begrudgingly inquired about her.

"Your friend?" Ritsu placed a finger on her chin and glanced up at the ceiling, focusing on nothing in particular, "She went back inside almost immediately after you walked off. Mio tried to apologise but that stubborn girl just stared daggers at her and hurried off back into the club. Mio begged me to help find you so we ended up splitting up and searching the town. I had already decided to call it off and was on my way home when I eventually found you."

"So Mio knows I'm okay?"

"Yep! She thinks I escorted you to the train station and that you're back home safe!"

"Why did you tell her that?" I tried to rise up from under the kotatsu but fatigue dragged me back down again leaving me feeling worse than before. With a sigh I accepted the fact that I wasn't moving any time soon and reluctantly lay there on the floor of the living room.

"I had to tell her; otherwise she would have come over to see you. I...I didn't want her interrupting us you see?" her cheeks noticeably reddened at that and the unusually high volume of her voice had dropped to adequate indoor levels. "I need to tell you something and I need you to listen, ok?"

Oh Jesus what in the world is going on right now?

Suddenly looking bashful, Ritsu turned her face away from me and slid back a short distance so that her voice was harder to hear.

"I'm sorry."

For what?

"I'm sorry, but I envy you..."

Huh? What part of passing out and almost dying on the streets is there to be enviable about?!

"Not that! I meant to say, I'm jealous...Of the way Mio looks at you."

Somehow I got the feeling this was something I shouldn't be hearing, but there was no escape and no avoiding Ritsu voicing her thoughts out loud. She looked at me then with eyes full of sadness, so totally different from the mischievous glint they usually carried.

"Mio is really fond of you. I've known her longer than anyone and I've never seen that look in her eyes that she gets when she speaks with you, or even just mentioning you in conversation. She gets so happy when she talks about you. You mean so much to her. I hate it!"

Say something, say something say something! Don't just stare at her dumbass, speak! But whatever you do, don't make it awkward or upset her further. This is getting far too unsettling already.

"Wait? If you really wanted to be her favourite friend then why do you keep playing those mean tricks on her? That's just detrimental to your own cause isn't it?"

Ritsu bowed her head and frowned, "Ha...The pranks...Maybe they do go a little too far? But I have to do it..."

I rolled my eyes, "I doubt you were forced at gunpoint to scare Mio in her sleep. There is no excuse for those stupid tricks you pulled!"

"Hmm." With a subdued sigh Ritsu hugged her knees and placed her feet under the kotatsu, "It's because I'm afraid. Afraid that I'll lose Mio...Every time I prank her she always clings to me, whether it's for support or simply to tell me off. Either way, Mio always comes to my side in the end...That's why I do it..."

So…You intentionally frighten Mio as a means to force her to use you as a crutch?

"Weird huh? I just...Mio is more important to me than anything. I don't want her to stray away and leave me behind."

Wow. That was surprisingly profound. A girl who boasts immeasurable confidence only to hide the fact she is insecure and doubtful. Sounds oddly familiar, but Haruhi isn't like that is she? Haruhi just does stupid things because she needs stupid things to entertain her otherwise she might get bored again and try to destroy the world. Unlike Ritsu, Haruhi just needs a dog toy to chew on to keep her happy. Unfortunately I'm the chew toy...

"I don't think Mio would ever leave you. If you're as close of friends as I've heard you are then you shouldn't be at all concerned."

A thin smile appeared but Ritsu still appeared upset. "You don't understand what I'm talking about do you?"

"Well...I may be wrong, but I'm getting the idea that you're jealous of Mio befriending me and you feel that you're losing a companion to someone else. Was I in the ballpark there?"

She shook her head. "It's not that simple. Boy, you really are dumb?"

My grades at school may support that claim but I'd rather maintain my dignity and refute that.

"Look, I'm not gonna spell it out for you, but I'll give you a hint..." With a blur of movement Ritsu was suddenly on her feet, standing tall with a finger pointed high towards the heavens. Performing a strange twirl she landed in an awkwardly leaning position with her finger pointed squarely at me, "If you ever make my Mio cry, you'll be sorry!"

'My Mio'? She's not a pet! More importantly however, how and why would I make Mio cry? Over the time I've known her the only person who has brought her to tears has been you!

With a fit of laughter, Ritsu fell back and stared rolling about on the floor. I was about ready to consider an exorcism when she finally came to, wiped her eyes and offered a beaming 100 watt smile.

"Thanks for hearing me out. I feel a lot better now!"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I didn't. Well I nodded at the least and tried to smile but the whole gesture looked rather pathetic and forced. Nonetheless Ritsu clapped her hands and danced about with childlike glee singing an out of tune song.

I decided to take a mental note and research bipolar disorder when I got home.


	14. Stage Fright

My morning at Ritsu's was...Well it was certainly something. However the details on what exactly that certain something was...Well I'm sort of lost there. To say the least though, my prior rage towards Haruhi had at least subsided after hearing Ritsu say her piece. While listening to what was no doubt a heart-wracking tale of a troubled girl's social anxiety I couldn't resist eyeing her up and down and mentally comparing her and Haruhi.

The yellow hair-band and tawny brown hair were dead give-aways; however the whole tomboy look seemed to be the only discerning factor between them. Then again, side by side they would easily look like twin sisters. Personality wise they were two peas in a pod, however there was a level of maturity behind Ritsu's apparent madness that worked as her saving grace. Haruhi simply acted like a child because she's bored of acting like an adult.

Still I spent many long minutes contemplating the gravity of Ritsu's little speech; dwelling on the many pessimistic details I had unwittingly been shown. She had revealed herself to me (Don't even go there!) despite having only seen my face twice. In fact it's amazing that she managed to recognise me when she was out searching considering the severely limited contact we had.

She certainly must trust me a great deal to spill such secrets that I'm sure even Mio, her closest friend in the entire world doesn't even know. But why? What did Mio say about me to convince this wild young girl to divulge such private information and even go so far as to envy our relationship? I'm sure Ritsu had long since picked up on the stripe motif in Mio's house. I'm sure their antics in the band and from even before then they had created an unbreakable bond that would never be challenged by a random friendship sparked by pity.

Worse still however was the warning she gave me.

_If you ever make my Mio cry...You'll be sorry!_

What the Hell is that supposed to mean? The only thing I can think of is the possible event of sabotaging their performance, but Ritsu would never know about that right? She doesn't even know we're competing alongside them! So what is it?

"Hello? Earth to Kyon!"

…

I have to stop spacing out.

Seriously...

"HEY!"

"What?" I snapped irritably, my eardrums pounding from her roar.

"I said do you want some breakfast? Geez, it's not that hard a question is it?"

"Oh...Sure, why not? I haven't had a meal out of a box for a while."

I instantly bit my tongue at seeing Ritsu's expression change to a murderous glare.

"What was that?"

"Uh...I mean...Whatever you have is fine!"

I thought she had calmed down for a second, taking a deep breath and rolling her shoulders. Just as I was coming to breathe easy she exploded with rage.

"What are you trying to say huh? You think I can't cook?! Well I'll show you! Just you wait! I'll make you the breakfast of kings! No, even better, the breakfast of champions!"

Not to nit-pick or anything but wouldn't a King be more important than a champion?

"Shut up! You sit there and eat your own words! That's right; they're gonna be the appetiser for the greatest breakfast ever known!" Strangely enough Ritsu's body language seemed to indicate that she was actually nervous about her own hastily initiated challenge, as if she wouldn't be able to live up to her ridiculously high-set bar. I decided not to call attention to it and sat patiently under the radiant warmth of the kotatsu, wondering what kind of breakfast of champions I would receive.

The steady rhythm of a knife against a chopping block echoed through the tiny kitchen to the adjacent living room.

"You should probably start getting ready while I'm cooking. We'll have to leave after eating so you might as well."

Oh right! I have to catch the train back home. Damn, I guess this will be another day absent from school. With my grades and all these absences my future appears to be in a very ugly grey area.

"What? You're not escaping that easily! You know Mio wants to see you, in fact everyone wants to meet you!"

"How many people are going to meet us at the train station?" I asked incredulously.

"None," she replied flatly from the other room. "But there's gonna be heaps at school!"

School?

What the...

Unless?

No! Screw that!

"Fu fu fu, is somebody nervous?"

"N-no, it's not that! It's just...How am I supposed to sneak into your school? And what am I supposed to do while you have classes?!"

Ritsu's smile as she peered back at me truly made me sick to my stomach. It was as if she had copied and pasted Haruhi's evil smile it was so perfectly identical. It was the smile I knew from many painful experiences, the smile that was quite simply the roof-roosting raven of misfortune.

Knowing that another human being was capable of such a smile almost loosened my bowels.

But it didn't so it's okay.

Nonetheless I was terrified, no longer contemplating my mystery breakfast but rather my fate.

Ritsu strolled in with a skip in her step, seeming to have recovered completely from her unsettlingly upset stupor from before. The bowl in her hands spewed columns of steam to the rooftops and an inviting smell wafted up my nostrils and sent me to a place not far from heaven. I think they call it restricted airspace...

"Well, foolish mortal, are you ready to treat your tongue to the otherworldly pleasures of the famous Ritsu Tainaka's big beautiful breakfast bonanza?"

Am I about to eat or am I watching a car dealership ad? I'm not sure myself...

Okay maybe the bowl was a decent clue. Yep, I was about to eat. Though that all depends on how long winded Ritsu's speech would be and from what I could deduce it would certainly be a while.

I watched the steam slowly slink back into the food while Ritsu continued to dance about (Amazingly not spilling anything in the process) while boasting about her culinary prowess. It did kind of get me pumped up and honestly I was starting to get swept up in her enthusiasm.

After what felt like forever it finally came time.

"Itadakimasu!"

I didn't even look at what I was eating, simply shovelling it down whilst for some unknown reason trusting Ritsu's judgement of her cooking skills. Thankfully there was no after-taste or stomach cramps. As far as I could tell it wasn't poison. It was definitely nice but I think she over-sold herself a little bit. But then even professional chefs wouldn't be able to live up to such outlandish claims so it's not like I'm putting her down or anything.

Ritsu leaned over the table, head resting upon her hands and eyes focused solely on me. With an expectant expression she waited for some kind of sign, "Well?"

It was a bit too salty and the rice was a little undercooked but still it's a world apart from my abhorrent cooking. With a measured smile I leaned over the table and patted her head, "I take back what I said. It's delicious! Truly a breakfast of champions!"

Unlike what I had foreseen in my head, Ritsu sat back and shared a devilish grin. "Really?"

I nodded fervently, "Yeah, it's awesome! Forgive me for thinking you couldn't cook!"

She giggled and crossed her arms, "You really are an idiot."

What?

"I only half-cooked the rice and added two extra tablespoons of salt to the sauce. I left patches of skin on the fish and didn't mix the omelette properly. I deliberately sabotaged your meal and yet you still praise me."

Her smile changed to something much more genuine and indefinitely warmer, "Mio was right about you..."

I felt relieved then. I should have known better.

Almost as an afterthought Ritsu whispered under her breath, "Sakuragaoka is a girl's school..."

* * *

Before I go any further just know that I really did try to resist. I mean I screamed until my throat was hoarse and tried to escape several times, however all was to no avail it seemed. Just like Haruhi, the vice-like grip of that twisted smile had already damned me to this scene of true Hell.

I searched the room for rope but found nothing to that effect.

I could have hit Ritsu but I'm a somewhat chivalrous guy and deep down I know that that is something I could never do. Sometimes I curse that part of me and at this point I was cursing that very part of me with every fibre of my being. If I had just socked Ritsu in the jaw and knocked her to the floor I could have sprinted to the train station or at the very least somewhere away from her and her maniacal ideas.

Instead I feebly mewled like a kitten as I was unwittingly forced into a corner like Mikuru is often subjected to. I saw Miss Asahina's face in the back of my mind as Ritsu's cold hands ran across my face, spreading her villainous concoction better known to womenfolk as 'make-up'

You see her master plan was as follows: Dress me in drag to infiltrate the all girl's school that Mio attends. Pretend I'm a transfer student and attend classes with Mio and Ritsu and their friends and then meet them in the clubroom at the end of the day.

Thanks for offering a noose but your intangible offerings are no longer of any use since I speak in retrospect. Just know that your compassion means a lot to me and I'm grateful of your sympathy and the condolences of my very dignity.

Alas it was too late to escape the sinking ship and I was dragged down into the depths.

Until...

A blaring tune sang out from nearby. It was either a horrible ringtone or a doorbell. From the way Ritsu bolted for the door I suspected the latter. Her excited chatter was audible from several rooms away however nothing in the sense of intelligible words seemed to pour out. For a moment it seemed as if she were simply talking to herself as the pauses between her sporadic rants were filled with complete silence. However at some point another yelling voice entered the fray, one that sounded a little familiar.

"Ritsu! What were you thinking?!"

There was a loud thud and strangely enough there was no rebuttal from the maniacal drummer. I had been saved, however the damage had already been done. Mio screamed at the sight of me and promptly rushed me to the bathroom to clean off the thick-caked mess of powders and creams I had been assaulted with.

"Geez, that Ritsu, I can't believe she'd do something so stupid!"

"Really? I can."

Mio paused for a moment and bowed her head, "Yeah...I suppose I can too. But still! This is ridiculous!"

It feels ridiculous...It felt like a cheap plastic mask had melted and congealed onto my face. Whatever Mio was applying to get rid of it was just like another mask, only made of acid. Try as I might to stay still the constant prying and poking and swabbing of fingers was unbearably irritating. The only thing keeping me sane was the sudden preoccupation with the fact that Mio's fingers were extremely soft. Squishy even...

Well that just sounds creepy. But then with Mio leaning over me the way she was in that cramped little bathroom just about every single thought running through my head could very well be considered creepy.

Out of respect I closed my eyes, but just like when you notice a mole on someone's face or uh...chest...I continued to stare compulsively at things I shouldn't have been staring at. Anticipating a slap in the face it was odd to find Mio either hadn't noticed at all or was simply resigned to grin and bear it while making me look human again. Or perhaps she was so engrossed in her task she merely overlooked the fact I was succumbing to the devilish deviations of my wandering gaze.

Either way our awkward experience in the bathroom lasted another twenty minutes until such a time that I could leave the house without looking like an intergalactic transsexual. I pictured the SOS Brigade in the back of my mind, Mikuru would no doubt hide behind Haruhi, clinging to her sleeve and sobbing. Koizumi's smile would be more forced than ever despite his composure crumbling like a cookie beneath a car tyre while Haruhi would scream and scream in outrage. Nagato would stare with her cold gaze for a long, long time, then turn around silently and leave.

It nearly brought tears to my eyes, but thankfully the blanket of chemicals had left my face numb as a paraplegic's leg.

"Kyon, I'm sorry about Ritsu. She can be a real handful at times and..."

I raised my hand to allay her concerns, "Don't worry it's not your fault. And considering she hasn't gotten back up yet I guess she'll have learned her lesson when she does...Assuming she doesn't have brain damage."

Mio twitched at that and her expression suddenly grew ashen. I could tell she was terribly worried now about Ritsu's health. We left to check on her and found the girl in question sitting against the sofa with an ice-pack on her forehead. She glanced up with dazed eyes which appeared to be swirling around like the googly eyes on a stuffed toy.

Watching Mio coo over her like a wounded pup only seemed to make Ritsu's speech earlier make more sense. Hell I'd love to be pampered like that as well, but I have more sense than to use such underhanded ways to earn it.

I looked up at the clock and noticed we were already late...


	15. Sneaking In

I couldn't help but smile as I was escorted to Sakuragaoka Girl's High. For a start, Ritsu had learned that her plan to dress me in drag was just plain stupid and was punished appropriately for it. Mind you after twenty minutes she was still wobbly on her feet. It made me wonder whether Ritsu really did enjoy such beatings or whether it was simply the sentiment behind them that meant that much to her.

In hopes of moulding a more positive image of the girl I chose the latter.

But I digress. My main reason to smile was the pleasant trip to school. What first seemed like jealousy melted into an unwarranted grin. But really, this was a satisfying walk to school. Unlike the many unfortunate students of North High, the lucky girls at Sakuragaoka need not go hiking every morning. With no mountains to cross just to get to school there were no bedraggled, exhausted and sweaty students clogging the paths around the area.

Of course you're probably wondering something else at this point. Something along the lines of my going along with the whole 'sneak into a girl's school' plot. Well at first I was hesitant, but when Mio begged me to come I had little choice but to tag along.

I felt like I owed her for the other night so this sought to become my peace offering on behalf of Haruhi and myself. That and the fact that I was kind of interested in meeting the rest of this band I've heard so much about, so you know, it has its benefits.

For the most part Ritsu did the majority of the talking, asking stupid questions that earned wild swings from her usually timid companion. Mio was more or less pre-occupied with planning her covert operation and I was simply happy to sit back and enjoy the ride. I'd gotten used to this kind of thing, being hopelessly dragged along with Haruhi for so long.

Despite taking great pains to get me through the gates they paid little attention to my very existence for much of the trip only taking the occasional glance my way to confirm I hadn't gotten lost or run away.

I couldn't care less though since I was technically a third wheel right now. It was best if I didn't intrude on their morning routine any more than I already had.

Besides, I trust Mio to come up with a plan that will not only work but keep my dignity in-tact all the same.

* * *

We arrived at the main gates, or to be more precise we were across the road from it, hiding behind a dumpster in the alley-way between some shops. Three students hunched over in an alley-way scoping out a high school. Nothing suspicious about that right?

"Right, at this point most of the students will have arrived. Only the late-comers stand a possible threat but they usually pay little attention to the outside world and focus on getting to class as fast as possible. They shouldn't cause any real problems unless..." Mio trailed off in her mission briefing.

"Unless what?"

"Hi Mio! Hi Ricchan!" A voice called from nearby with the bright cheery timbre of someone on a sugar high. "Ha, ha, ha. I thought I was late so I rushed over as fast as I could...Oh wait I am late! What are you doing out here? Class is starting!"

There was no helping it, I had to pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a sigh that simply could not be averted. However in doing so the stranger had noticed my presence and let out a startled gasp.

"Ah! What is this?! Don't tell me...w-were you guys..." After that she no longer spoke in anything that could be attributed as language, but more a jumbled arrangement of sounds while the girl began chewing on the ribbon of her uniform and fidgeting madly with her fingers. Her short auburn hair danced with the fervent shaking of her head as she continued to blurt out her meaningless string of nonsense.

Mio rose to her feet and shot her palm out as a signal for the confused girl to stop.

Unfortunately that signal went unnoticed by said girl who continued to mumble unintelligibly.

"Yui!" she suddenly cried, getting the girl's attention, "Don't jump to silly conclusions like that. We weren't...We weren't..." Mio's face suddenly blushed an impossible shade of red, like the glowing heat of something on the verge of melting. God knows what she was imagining but it got unbelievably flustered as she began to mimic the girl presumably named Yui's fumbling embarrassment.

I looked to Ritsu for help but she just laughed as if it didn't affect her at all.

Like always it seemed it was up to me to salvage the situation. With a well-measured but undeniably fake cough I caught everyone's attention and rose steadily to my feet. "Excuse me...Yui was it? I suppose you are Mio's friend?"

She nodded furiously like a bobble-head while drumming her hands on her lap as if expecting a present for answering the question.

"Well you may have heard of me then. My name is-"

"Uh, t-t-this is Kyon!" Mio snapped, cutting me off at the worst possible time, but at least it meant the torch had been passed to someone else for once.

At the mention of my despised nick-name Yui suddenly fell silent, her face going still for the first time since I'd met her. I swore I saw a light-bulb flash above her head as she managed to connect the dots in her head. A beaming smile spread across her round face and a flicker of child-like excitement began to flicker behind her hazel eyes.

"Kyon? You're the boy Mio's so obsessed with!"

Obsessed?

"Y-Y-Yui! It's n-not like t-that!" Mio mewled feebly, tripping on at least every second word. Her blushing face was adorable and admittedly robbed my attention span for a few long seconds. That seemed to be enough time to harbour suspicious stares from Ritsu and Yui however only one of them felt malicious. While Ritsu appeared to be subconsciously plotting her next prank Yui just seemed to be genuinely mystified with my presence in the same way a cat is mystified by a reflection of itself in a mirror. With a trembling hand she reached out and patted my shoulder as if to verify I was actually there.

"Wow! You're really him! So what are you doing here?"

"He's here for a visit." Mio managed to answer calmly though her cheeks were still as red as rose petals.

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry," Yui laughed a laugh more befitting of a tiny bird, a lilting lyrical tune that was oddly sweet before finally adding the kicker, "I thought you were a boy!"

…

I am a boy.

"What? But isn't this an all girl's school?" Yui was counting on her fingers for no real reason while trying to add up the facts.

"It is." Ritsu confirmed with a devilish smile, relishing in Yui's dumbfounded state.

"But...Then...Is he...Are you...Uh...Um..." She finished on a weird humming sound and not so subtly placed her finger on her chin to make it seem she was deep in thought despite the simplicity behind our conversation.

We all waited patiently for her to reach the inevitable conclusion, though none of us expected it to take a full four minutes.

"Wait a minute!" she yelled, waving her hands in the air, palms out as if to ward us off. Her expression grew so ridiculously serious that I almost let out a howl of undignified laughter, only managing to choke it back at the last second. All the while Yui gave us a stern look and frowned, "That's not allowed!"

* * *

It should not have taken as long as it did to explain the rather basic plan to Yui, a girl whose eccentricities lay on a level on an entirely different plane to Haruhi and Ritsu. Despite moving quickly at all times it seemed there was always a several second delay for her brain to catch up. It made me feel a little better when considering our comparative grades.

After a brief meeting and now with another girl on-board for our stupid ploy it finally came time to pass through the gates of Sakuragaoka Girl's academy. Considering how late we were in finally making our move there was not one student or staff member around to catch us which made it all the more simple a matter of rushing me through the halls towards wherever their club room was.

After passing through the outer hall of one building and ascending several flights of stairs we arrived at a plain wooden door with the words 'Music Room' neatly written upon the window, accompanied by the clichéd musical notes.

In a spate of reverse chivalry Mio kindly opened the door for me and led me inside, directing me to a small couch in the middle of the room. Compared to the SOS Brigade's club-room this was very spacious, even with all the expensive looking furnishings and the full band set-up in the corner. If I ever needed a sign that North High was a poorly school it was this.

There was even an air conditioner!

Ah...Heaven.

"Ha ha, you like it? This is our club room, the home of Houkago Tea-Time!"

Damn right I like it! If possible I would have liked to get Nagato to transfer this space into the dusty little literature club room at our school. Given the feats I've witnessed from her in the past I'm sure it wouldn't be beyond her capabilities.

"Right, we _really _have to get to class, but we'll be back at lunch time, that's only a little over an hour away. Will you be alright?"

I dismissed Mio's concerns with a wave of my hand while at the same time putting my feet up and getting comfy in the luxuriously outfitted club room, "Yeah sure, get going before you get in trouble."

"Alright, see you at lunch time!"

With a wave and a kind smile Mio departed for class with Ritsu trailing close behind. Yui offered an exaggerated grin and the peace sign before skipping out after her friends. For a moment I had to shake my head, my sympathy for Mio becoming overwhelming. I thought the SOS Brigade was odd but it seemed this group of ordinary high schoolers was far stranger...

Could they be...?

No that's stupid.

I need something to take my mind off of such silly things...

Hmm, is that a bass guitar?

* * *

With as much care as possible I released the guitar from its padded chrysalis and held it up to the sun-light splaying through the spotlessly clean windows. Upon closer inspection it was the very same guitar Mio had at home. Upon even closer inspection it was indeed her guitar; a leftie one at that.

With a frown I put the instrument away and sat back on the couch glancing around the room until finally settling my gaze upon an exquisite looking tea set. It almost put Asahina's charming little set to shame with its mere extravagance, but no matter how expensive they may appear, they are worth nothing until graced by the liquefied pleasures of our time-travelling maid's deliciously brewed tea.

With nothing else to do I ended up making a cup of tea for myself.

Then another...

And another...

And so on...

I don't know how much time passed as I continued brewing and re-brewing, sampling the fancy styles of tea I never even knew existed with labels so upmarket they almost sounded foreign. I initially felt guilty for stealing the precious tea that probably cost the same as my tuition at North High but then the feelings of regret dissipated for a while and only seemed to return at the point in which I came to a terrible realisation.

I had drunk way too much tea. I'd lost count of how many cups I'd poured and subsequently downed but logically speaking that is a lot of liquid. Just as rain-water evaporated off the ground after a storm, the liquid swilling in my stomach had to go somewhere else too.

I felt a shudder, but ignored it, hoping that like those annoying salesman who hassle you at the store, if you pay no attention to them they will just go away. But it didn't. It returned with a vengeance.

Damn...

I checked the clock on the wall; twenty minutes until lunch.

At least there's still time...

But it's too risky! I can't!

But I have to...

Grrr, why now? Why now of all times and all places?!

Dammit!

Where's the bathroom?

* * *

Kyon, trapped alone in an all girl's school suddenly finds himself in a tight spot. To heed the call of nature Kyon must brave the halls of Sakuragaoka High and avoid detection and make it back before the lunch bell rings. Can he make it? Find out in the next chapter!

Now please review, you've made it this far right?


	16. Intermission

Hey guys, it's been a while but the next chapter is finally here! Enjoy and please review!

* * *

It was with growing dread that I realised something quite grave. Something so terrifying it caused the colour to drain from my face leaving me to look like an unpainted figure. You see I had reached a crossroads, one that I had most unfortunately overlooked when agreeing to infiltrate a girl's only high school. One single factor that could quite possibly shatter much more than my dignity.

I speak of course, about the inevitability of a bathroom break.

Granted if I hadn't drunk so much bloody tea I might have been able to stave off the call of the wild as you would a telemarketer, but this spam caller knew my home address and had come pounding on my front door.

Not to pat my own back but I think that metaphor deserves a round of applause.

Anyway the matter remains that I needed to find a toilet and quickly before an even more embarrassing situation occurred. As difficult as it may be, I think it's a little easier to explain my presence in an all girl's school without the added explanation of why I reek of urine.

Thus I confronted my dilemma and carefully made my way to the door. Fortunately, the music room resided on the third floor in an abandoned corner right near the stairs allowing easy access to the lower floors without having to trundle along through the halls deep behind enemy lines.

Sliding silently through the door I pressed myself up against the wall, utilising everything I had learned watching action movies on TV (Admittedly it's not much) as I glanced up the corridor and down the stairs. Finding no signs of life I proceeded down the stairs taking two at a time with as much care as possible. If only I had time to be more cautious, but honestly at this point my insides felt like they were having a cannibalistic feeding frenzy.

Stealthily reaching the second floor I once again scanned the area for signs of life and promptly descended to the ground floor where it's a fair assumption the toilets would be located. To conquer my uncertainty surrounding Sakuragaoka I used mental blue-prints of our underfunded North High to at least vaguely guide the lost soul drifting through the halls.

Scaling the first year corridors felt more dangerous than any of the others. Second years would question my motives with derisive laughter and cruel barbs and third years would probably be very offended and give me a damn good scolding, but first years...

This could turn into an evening news story if I'm not careful...

Slinking low, ducking under windows and padding as softly as possible, I made my way forward with dreadful slowness made all the more dreadful by the sharp bladed agony slicing and dicing in my stomach.

But then at last, I chanced upon a door with a stick figure silhouette in a cheap triangular dress. I let out a silent cheer and moved forward with renewed vigour and determination.

Therein I discovered another problem.

After five minutes of fruitlessly searching up and down the corridor for the male toilets I remembered that I was in a girl's exclusive school and that the very existence of a male toilet here would be entirely redundant and only accumulate cobwebs to be harvested for the biology classes. Feeling about as stupid as that Yui girl I couldn't help but slap myself in the face.

And so it came that I reached yet another impasse in my pursuit to relieve myself. With no male toilets, I (also a male) would have to enter the girl's toilets, an as yet unknown world. Furthermore, the risk of being discovered increased and the threat of violating multiple laws rose exponentially to the point that I was almost considering ruining a nice pair of pants.

Frightened and alone, I sat in the gap between two rows of lockers staring down the entrance to the girl's toilets whilst blushing furiously. I decided to wait for a few minutes and scope it out just in case any girls were already inside. I doubt it would go down well passing a girl on my way in...

After an agonising few minutes of cramps and no students in sight around the lavatories I finally made my move.

Treading as if on a minefield I stepped inside the land often pondered in young male minds. The mysterious realm of the girl's restroom. Surprised at the sudden sweet smell I was taken aback. They use air fresheners? Why don't we get that?

Never mind! Push on! On second thought refrain from command verbs. It only makes it worse.

Pressing on into the brightly lit, pleasant smelling realm of the ladies room I found an open stall and practically threw myself inside, fearing that the floodgates might open involuntarily. Stranded in the just perceptibly pink-painted cell I finally managed to relax, an overly contented sigh escaping me in tandem with...Well the other thing escaping at that very moment...

Don't think about that too much...

At last the cramps lifted and the agony churning through my gut subsided. Finally at ease I took a deep breath and sighed. Mission accomplished.

Now to just get back to the club room before the lunch bell rings, I've still got a few minutes!

After rinsing my hands to the bare minimum of being acceptably cleansed I cautiously approached the exit and scanned the hall to the left. Thankfully it was all clear, not a soul in sight. Leaning out just a little further I surveyed the other side of the corridor whereupon I immediately jumped back inside and proceeded to panic.

A figure at the far end had been drifting down towards me. If I hadn't instinctively ducked back inside like a cowardly turtle then I may as well have been spotted. But the crisis wasn't fully averted just yet.

Melting into the door, ear pressed hard against the cold timber I listened intently to the incoming footsteps.

Shit!

She's getting closer!

There are only two places a girl would be going at this moment while classes are in session and those are the nurse's office and my current hiding place, the ladies room. Considering the lilting harmonious humming I could hear it was considerably doubtful that she's in need of medical attention...

Which means only one thing...

I have to hide!

But where? This isn't exactly the most secretive of locations. Aside from the stalls it's an empty room. But hiding in the cubicles is sort of wrong isn't it? I really shouldn't even be here! My best bet is to slip out as soon as she passes by and make a desperate break for the music room. I can hide in a cupboard there and wait for Mio and the others to have their lunch break.

That's right...That would be the best strategy...

But for now...

"La, la, la, la la~"

Dammit I'm out of time! She's right on the other side of the door!

Run! Run for your life!

Can't think. Head for a stall. Run! Duck behind the door and close it gently-

'Clack'

Oh no...

The bathroom door opened and the light pitter patter of footsteps on the tiled floor filled the silent room. Closing the cubicle door would be suspicious at this point. The best outcome would be a rumour of ghosts in the school but that would draw a crowd faster than I can escape to the club room. Hold my breath and wait for her to leave, that's the plan!

Count to ten, count Miss Asahina dressed as a sheep feebly trying to crawl over a fence. Just don't make a sound!

Her shadow splayed against the wall, the silhouette of long wavy hair and a petite frame. Biting down on my lips to keep my mouth shut I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, unable to control the trembling.

A fear like I had never felt before rippled through every fibre of my body and forced thick beads of sweat to pour down my face and down the nape of my neck. It tingled and itched and made the hairs stand on edge but I refused to move, afraid that even the minuscule ruffling of my sleeves could alert the intruder to my presence.

Wait...Did I just call her the intruder? That's sort of ironic...

But more importantly; what the hell am I supposed to do?!

I kept my eyes shut as tight as possible, squeezing my eyelids with enough force to push my eyes back into the back of my skull. I shut down my other senses and bet everything on hearing, listening to the booming thunder of a cubicle door slamming shut.

Relief began to flood through me and-

"AH!"

I guess I should open my eyes before getting my hopes up...

Blinking away the sweat that had pooled like tears in the corner of my eyes I stared directly into the soft blue eyes of the girl I'd seen in the hall. For a long pregnant moment we stared at each other in complete silence, the only sound being our own breath, standing so unbearably close I could feel each of her gasps upon my cheeks.

As if looking into a gender-bending mirror the girl's cheeks visibly reddened at the exact moment I felt the flames of embarrassment burning across my face.

She opened her mouth to scream again and on impulse I lashed out and drowned it into the palm of my hand. Even so she continued to mumble something into the improvised noise reducer. Her lips tickled and unable to control myself I had to let go, lest she make me laugh; a sure-fire way to make this moment far worse than it already is.

She let out a light cough and glanced into my wide terrified eyes. The faintest smile appeared, one of curiosity, as if she were trying to comprehend the presence of a male student in a girl's only high school. Raising a slender finger she confidently guessed, "Excuse me, is this a kidnapping?"

She was way off the mark...

"It's because my family is rich isn't it? I bet you're after a big ransom. I wonder how much Daddy would pay to set me free?"

"Uh...What on earth are you talking about?"

"Ah! I'm sorry! Forgive me! Do you want me to be quiet while you make the threatening phone call to my parents? But they're both at work right now so one of the butlers will have to leave a message...But that won't be as dramatic now would it? Maybe you should wait a little later for-"

I raised my hand to stop her from rambling on any further. "Please...Just stop. I'm not here to kidnap you. I'm...Well it's a long story but I'm actually here because Mio-"

"You're after Mio?! So you're using me as a hostage to lure her here so that you can-"

"No! You watch way too many movies! I'm not a kidnapper! I'm a friend of Mio and she wanted me to meet the rest of her band friends so she invited me along to say hello and-"

"Oh! Then you must be Kyon then? I've heard a lot about you!"

Despite everything that had happened up to this point, hearing yet another stranger address me by my most dreaded nickname seemed to sting the most. So much so that I had to wince.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Kyon-kun! My name is Tsumugi Kotobuki, but if you're a friend of Mio-chan then you are a most welcome friend of mine, so call me Mugi! You see, I'm also a member of Houkago Tea-Time."

Mugi tried to bow but in the constrained quarters of the cubicle we ended up bashing heads, her silky blonde hair brushing ever so gently over my forehead. Looking at her at such close range I was left breathless. A kind smile radiated from her snowy white face, framed by long waves of silky blonde hair. More-over the most striking feature seemed to be her eye brows which were as thick as my fingers.

Despite having more important matters to occupy myself with such as my escape from such an awkward situation I just couldn't tear my eyes away from those eye brows! Why exactly, I can't be sure, there was just something very intriguing about them...

"Um...Excuse me, Kyon-kun?"

I came close to jumping out of my skin then and there. Startled I stammered through a response that failed to fall under any existing language. With a reassuring smile Mugi continued.

"Forgive me for being rude, but what are you doing here?"

…

That cut pretty deep.

She said it in the sweetly patronising way an adult might address a stray dog or lost child. Of course it would appear appropriate in this situation but even so her words dug down right to the bone. My shoulders sagged and with a bowed head I begged for forgiveness.

"It's a long story...I'd rather not talk about it. Oh and for the love of God _please _don't tell Mio and the others about all this! I've caused enough trouble as it is..." I rubbed the back of my head and coughed nervously and understandably so when standing less than a foot away from a beautiful girl locked in a bathroom stall.

"I'll just head on out and we can all just forget this meeting ever happened."

"Oh, but then how will I address you next time? I'll have to pretend I don't know you."

"No, well...You can...Just pretend we bumped into each other in the halls or something, just forget about this...Place."

"You mean, I accidentally ran into you and then I fell but you caught me and held me in your arms and-"

"What? No! It's not an anime! Just tell them we passed in the corridors on your way to the restroom-"

"But I thought I was supposed to forget about the restroom?"

I pinched my nose in frustration. It wasn't that she didn't pay enough attention, but rather that she was paying too much. However this was only going around in pointless circles. With a measured sigh I tried again to formulate her cover story.

"Look, you passed me in the halls on your way to the restroom. We introduced ourselves, had a brief chat and then went our separate ways, got it?"

"Very well then. But I think the story is missing a dramatic element-"

"It doesn't _need_ a dramatic element! Oh forget it, I'll tell them the story myself when I get to the club room since I'm going-" I pushed open the cubicle door and almost walked into a group of girls gliding gracefully into the room.

"...Soon..." I added, deadpan.

The excited chorus of high-school girl chatter filled the room, reverberating off the walls to make the laughter of a half dozen people sound like a crowd. Mugi's eyes widened at the implications of such sounds and eyed me curiously, cheeks blushing ever so slightly.

Sweat poured down my forehead as the voices scattered like petals in the wind, moving to all corners of the bathroom. Several doors closed, a tap ran and more voices suddenly joined the clatter.

I stared at the cubicle door, as if doing so hard enough would grant me X-ray vision to scan the room beyond. Unfortunately all I could see were a few scratches in the recently painted timber. Unable to see, my other senses were on full alert, intently gauging the situation of the surrounding area.

I had almost forgotten about Mugi until I felt something tug gently on my sleeve. I craned my neck to look at her and noticed something odd about her stance. Her knees were both bent inwards and her whole body was trembling. While one hand remained on my arm the other was held down at the hem of her skirt, playing absent-mindedly. Her gaze was unfocused, constantly shifting between me and a blank space on the partitions on each side. Her cheeks had grown many shades redder since the last time I saw her.

She muttered something so quiet I could barely hear it.

"What?" I asked, immediately covering my mouth with a hand and holding my breath. For a moment the chatter outside had dulled as if all eyes were suddenly on the one occupied stall. Settling my gaze on Mugi once more I gave an inquisitive glance.

"...Toilet..." she mumbled, a look of shame in her eyes.

…

Oh god no...

Not while I'm still here!

Leaning in close I whispered in her ear, "Please just hold on for a little longer! I promise I'll get out as soon as those girls leave! Just wait for a few more seconds, okay?"

Turning as red as a beetroot, Mugi whimpered, "I'll try..."

And so it came that I could hear a clock ticking inside my head. More afraid than ever now I silently prayed for the other girls to leave as soon as possible.

In the most awkward of silences, I stared straight at the door while listening to Mugi fidget and moan behind me. Closing my eyes and imagining my happy place didn't seem to work...

But at long last the throng of girls left the room, their gossip fading out as the door closed behind them. With a sigh of relief I unlocked the cubicle door and...

The entrance became once again filled with giggling schoolgirls...

I ducked back inside out of habit and bowed deeply in apology for Mugi's misfortune.

"Just one more minute..." I sighed reassuringly.

Then the lunch bell rang...


	17. Broken Bathroom Break

There comes a time in everyone's life when they feel well and utterly trapped. Of course for the most part the sense of entrapment is usually of the metaphorical sense. I've had those experiences...More than most people would have at my age, more than many would have in their entire lifetime...

But there are also times when it is fair to say you are trapped, not in an intellectually pretentious manner but in the very literal sense that you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

This was one of those moments.

Though I wasn't necessarily between a rock and a hard place, it was more like a toilet stall door and a frightened young girl whose bathroom break had been rudely interrupted. Actually interrupted is sort of the wrong word here since that implies she had actually commenced at some point before my intrusion. Fact of the matter was that my presence had entirely prevented her from accomplishing what she had set out to do here in the ladies room.

Worse still, with the steady influx of girls flooding the room the chance to escape out of our uncomfortable and unbearably awkward situation had decreased greatly.

And then it just disappeared completely...

The crows called, the wolves howled and the mournful wails of the dead echoed throughout the school...

Not really...

But the bells did toll for lunch. You know what that means right? There's no chance in hell of me escaping to the clubroom unnoticed now. With the halls teaming with the enemy and a sudden swarming of girls around the restroom it made it well and truly impossible to get out of here, not only causing problems for me and this unfortunate girl named Mugi, but also Mio, Ritsu and Yui whom were all probably wondering where I'd gone by now.

I should call Mio and tell her to wait until after school to meet up...But the acoustics of the room were born for echoes. No doubt my obviously male-sounding voice would alert the nearby students and ruin everything.

I decided to text her instead.

After typing the message I awaited her reply, but before my phone could ring a bright cheery tone blared out from directly behind. I turned to see Mugi hesitantly answering her phone, face scrunched up in pain and shame.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mugi, it's me."

"Hi Mio, what's going on?"

"Um...Well I'm afraid you won't be able to meet Kyon just yet. I know I said I'd introduce you to him at lunch but...Well he's been tied up elsewhere."

Mugi's eyes drifted towards me and the faintest trace of a smile appeared, "Oh dear, what a shame."

"Yeah, I know, but he said he'll hang around after school so be sure to come to the club-room later!"

"Very well."

"Oh yeah, where are you? Yui and Ritsu can't function without their tea and cake."

Mugi let out a cheerful laugh, but her face betrayed that sentiment as her cheeks drained of colour. "I just had to go to the staff-room real quick. I'll be up soon. Bye!"

Mugi hung up and gave me a stare I had honestly never seen before. It was one of extreme urgency, life and death...

"Forgive me...I really can't hold on!"

"What?! You can't do that while I'm in here!" I hissed, but the look in her eyes seemed to say it was going to happen really soon whether I liked it or not, it's just a matter of where.

"P-P-Please don't look!" Mugi begged, face flaring rose-red. Slight signs of tears rolled down her snowy cheeks as she waited for me to turn around.

Closing my eyes shut as hard as possible I resigned myself to fate and turned around, taking a deep breath.

The rustle of clothes, the groan of the seat, the sound of rain...

Urgh...

That's so gross...

This sucks...

I _really_ want to die right now...

Mental images that by all rights shouldn't exist flooded my mind, driving me insane (Not in that way!)

I heard something like a farm animal in pain. The kind of agonised noises that signify when the farmer should mercifully have the poor beast put down. It took a moment to realise that the sounds were actually my own. Mugi was also making noises of course, whimpering like a puppy locked outside in the storm.

I think it's fair to say we were both crying...

My entire body was tingling. Stomach protesting, heart pounding. I could hear my bones rattling, I was shaking so damn much!

Geez, I can't take this anymore!

"Are you...You know...Almost finished?" I asked, my voice unable to maintain a stable register and fluctuating to every extreme possible.

After a pause, Mugi whispered through sobs, "Almost..."

God knows how long it had been. It felt like several hours, but it could have been twenty seconds for all I know. Though surely if it really had been several hours then I'd be quite concerned for Mugi's health.

Regardless of how long it was, I eventually noticed the absence of the certain sickening sounds that had brought me to the brink of nausea. Relief and desperation flowed through me. The ordeal is over!

I spun around to face her and bowed almost ninety degrees.

"I'm so sorry-"

…

Turns out she wasn't finished...

Turns out my deep bow had done little to make up for my mistakes, instead making everything a hundred times worse. You see the very act of bowing in a tiny little bathroom stall brought my head within a sparse few centimetres from Mugi's...output jack...

And so it came to be that I was standing over Mugi, head stooped over her lap, staring dumbfounded at the panties around her ankles and the entirety of her marble-crafted thighs. The blood instantly rushed to my head, so much so that I could feel it building up in the back of my nasal passages and thrumming against my brain. The dizzying effects left me stumbling backwards into the cubicle door from which I slid helplessly down to the floor in a position once again placing my line of sight directly on the path of something it shouldn't...

Mugi rushed to pull her skirt down over her defenceless self but the damage was already done.

It seemed the screams had died in her throat, her jaw dropped open silently, eyes wide and staring. My gaze became unfocused, the entire room spinning into one blurry mess. I tasted iron on the tip of my tongue, heard Mugi finally find her voice and scream, scream so loud that the sound bounced off every surface like a violently thrown ping pong ball.

No longer able to stay upright, my body suddenly became weighed down, falling forward as a dead-weight. My head landed at Mugi's feet, face half buried in her lemon coloured panties.

Mugi's feet moved about frantically, as if dancing, but she certainly wasn't dancing.

More screams, not just Mugi's this time...

A lot of banging and shouting, Mugi sobbing, a maelstrom of reverberated noises.

And just as the world started to fade out into the darkness, I heard the toilet flush...

* * *

I felt many pairs of eyes staring me down. Despite a fuzzy recollection of what must have happened earlier I was still hesitant to open my eyes, but I think it would be best to just face whatever is coming rather than pretend to sleep any longer.

I awoke under the radiant heat of the afternoon sun coming in through the gap in the curtains next to my bed. The bed was stiff but comfortable, just like those found in hospitals...

Wait a minute...

"Ah! Look! Look! He's alive!" Yui cried frantically.

"O-of course he's alive!" Mio snapped back, her voice still somewhat shaken.

"Oh thank goodness," Mugi whispered, "I was really frightened back there."

"What happened back there anyway?" Ritsu asked and judging from the urgency in her tone she had probably been pressing that exact same question for quite some time now.

No-one seemed to want to answer that and a lingering silence loomed over everyone in the room.

"W-Where...Am I?" I asked dazedly, head still swimming.

"You're in the nurse's office," Mio explained.

Nurses office? Oh right I passed out back there when-

"Oh no! Was I spotted?!" I jumped out of my seat, only to feel weightless and collapse back down into the bed. Everyone exchanged shifting glances which I must say were quite disconcerting.

"How bad was it?" I dared ask.

"They called the cops!" Ritsu declared with unfounded pride. "They even questioned us about it, but Mugi wouldn't tell us what was going on so we're kind of left in the dark about what happened."

"We're in a lot of trouble for bringing you here..." Mio sighed deeply, unable to meet my gaze.

"How much trouble?" I asked, wincing.

"We might be getting suspended!" Yui chirped, free as a bird.

"Yui! This is serious!"

"I know," she giggled, obviously not comprehending the gravity of their situation, "But if we don't have to come to school, then that gives us more time to practice!"

Everyone fell silent for a moment. All bar Mio suddenly became overly excited.

"Yeah, you're right! We could totally practice all day and night!" said Ritsu, jumping up and down with the energy of a child.

"We can use my villa if need be, it's on the way to Tokyo after all." suggested Mugi, not seeming to care at all about the trouble she faced.

I couldn't suppress the laughter any longer. With a chuckle I muttered, "I suppose every cloud _does_ have a silver lining."

But the joy wasn't to last as the door to the nurse's office burst open with the sound of thunder. A harsh demonic roar erupted from the young teacher standing in the doorway, a vicious bark ordering her students to step outside.

Even with the door closed I could hear her clearly, going absolutely ballistic over our little stunt. I could just imagine Mio flinching in terror at the teacher's words, spittle flying from her lips as she snarled at her progeny. Yui would be oddly subdued, as would Ritsu, her overwhelming enthusiasm drained completely under the face of the impending punishment. As for Mugi, I can't be too sure. For all I know she could be taking it all with a smile...

Guilt flooded through me. I'm such a hopeless bastard...I'm the one who caused all this trouble and yet I'm the only one escaping the consequences! Even if Mio tried to drag me here, it was ultimately my decision to tag along and it was my mistakes that have led to this whole fiasco. If anyone should be crucified for all this, it's me.

The yelling stopped outside and the young teacher stormed in again, this time making a b-line straight towards me. She stopped short of the bed and glared at me from behind her thin-framed spectacles which caught the reflection of the setting sun.

"You're in a lot of trouble, you know that?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm so dreadfully sorry for everything that's happened." I bowed deeply and hoped it would at least calm her down a little. As hoped, the veins on her forehead disappeared and the red blush rage subsided a little.

"You had better be sorry! Sexual harassment is a serious offence!"

"Sexual harassment?" I blurted out foolishly, biting my tongue in the process. I soon recalled what had happened earlier and nodded gravely. "I'm very sorry ma'am. I won't ever do it again, I promise!"

She snorted, something quite unbecoming of such a young and pretty teacher. "Your apology isn't worth anything to me. The police are waiting outside for you. They'll sort out this ugly mess."

"P-P-Police?" I stammered. I thought they had just come in for questioning? Why are they taking me away? Sure I made some horrible mistakes but I didn't do anything that bad, right?

As if on cue, two officers stepped into the room. They each laid a hand on either shoulder and led me out of the room. I passed the girls of Houkago Tea-time along the way, garnering a series of frightened cries and desperate pleas from the stunned on-lookers.

Strangely enough, the halls were empty. They may have sent everyone else home early to avoid a commotion...Well more of a commotion really...

At least there were less people around to watch my walk of shame...

I felt like a dead man walking as they led me down the silent halls and out to the awaiting police car by the front gate. The entire time I begged Mio for forgiveness and prayed that Haruhi never and I mean _never_ finds out...


	18. Sneaking Out

Well the last few chapters were a bit controversial but rest assured this latest chapter is not set in a toilet stall. Enjoy and review!

* * *

It was cold in the police station, perhaps because nobody here seemed to understand me and my situation, not that anyone really could except for a rare handful of people. You see even after giving my report at least four times, each to a different officer, every single time I was met with the same dead-eyed stare as if they had barely heard a word I was saying and were simply preoccupied mentally substituting their own answers to their questions.

The interview room was musky and smelled of fear, or perhaps that was just me. The walls were the dull sterile white you find in old hospital rooms, the sort of bland uninspiring colour to ensure your mind can't wander as you look around. I can safely say it does its job.

It didn't stop the officers from spacing out though...

"We're going to have to call your parents. You're allowed a few minutes to speak alone with them so don't waste it."

A lanky officer handed me a dirty corded phone and stepped back a few paces as if that gave me privacy. When I dialled the number he stepped back a little further and turned away, looking down at his watch as if he were seriously going to time my call down to the second.

I took a deep laboured breath and tried to calm down. This was going to be a tough call...

"Hello?" a warm voice responded over the slightly crackling speaker. I could imagine them smiling as they answered.

"Koizumi, it's me, Kyon."

"I assumed as much." he said in a way that got under my skin and managed to piss me off a little. "I've been patiently awaiting your call for some time now. I believe you have some bad news?"

I stared at the phone for a moment in silence. "Are...Are you psychic?"

He chuckled. Oh how I hate it when he chuckles. That falsified outburst of joy that models have when they pretend to play in front of the camera. The crackling speaker only made it sound twice as annoying as usual.

"Well, I am an esper. Who knows?"

"That doesn't answer anything..."

"To be blunt, no, I'm not psychic. At least not in this case. It just so happens that I received a drunken phone call from Miss Suzumiya last night regarding something that happened at that live show you attended."

Did you just say 'drunken phone call'?

"Yes, Miss Suzumiya was most definitely intoxicated when she called me at three in the morning. She wouldn't stop cursing your name, I'm afraid it was rather unpleasant."

"You mean she was that upset about what happened at the concert that she went out and got drunk and then started making abusive calls?"

I know Haruhi does stupid things unreasonably often, but that is just beyond ridiculous. And where did she even find alcohol in the first place?!

Well whatever I have more important things on my plate right now! Leaning close to the receiver I carefully explained the situation to Koizumi.

"Hey, this is gonna sound really strange but could you please pretend to be my father for the remainder of this phone call?"

"Oh my, are we playing house?" he said jokingly, but even so I wanted to reach through the phone and punch him in the face.

"No, I'm..." I sighed quite heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose, "Look I'm at the police station. I've gotten into a little bit of trouble and you are my one phone call. I didn't want to call my actual parents because it would only cause unnecessary concern and that's why I'm relying on you."

"It seems it was a mistake to let you and Miss Suzumiya go to that concert alone..." he muttered, almost as an afterthought. After a moment of silence he returned, "Very well, as you wish."

"Great! Thanks a lot; I'll definitely pay you back for this. Oh and another thing...Do not breathe a word of this to Haruhi, got that?"

He made a strange sound and sighed, "You know I cannot do that. Miss Suzumiya has been asking about you all day. To keep her stable I must tell her the truth."

"But the truth won't keep her stable! You know damn well what Haruhi would do if you told her I was detained at the police station!"

"Fear and doubt are worse for her at the moment. I can console and calm her if we at least know the truth. The threat of the unknown is the greatest danger to her right now. It will give her closure to at least know you are safe."

I thought she hated me for what I did at the concert?

"Love conquers all, my friend."

I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

"Koizumi...If you _really_ have to tell Haruhi, then at least make sure she doesn't leave your sight for the rest of the day. Don't let her do anything stupid...er than usual..."

"Of course. You can count on me."

I bloody well hope so!

The lanky officer returned to snatch the phone away and spoke with my pretend father. Judging by how smoothly the conversation was going Koizumi must have played the part quite well. At least that was one less worry...

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. The worst is surely yet to come...

* * *

They didn't let me leave. Instead I was forced to rest in the drunk tank while they rang up Mugi's parents to inquire whether or not they would press charges. I hope Mugi's at home, I really do. For several hours I waited for their judgement and while resting on the rigid mattress that felt like it was made from Styrofoam and plastic I overheard some loud voices in the front room beyond the halls outside my cell.

Whatever was going on it seemed to be rather heated.

Out of curiosity I approached the tiny window of the door to my cell and stared out at the steel door separating the front room from the cells. Naturally I couldn't see a thing but when listening closely the voices seemed to become more familiar. However exhaustion bid me to give up on the matter and just lie down.

And so I did.

But at that moment the guards just had to knock on my door and wake me up again.

"You have a visitor." he said in a voice as cold and detached as possible.

The door squealed as it was slowly pushed open, allowing my surprise guest to stroll right in. I was expecting Koizumi more than anyone else so I was surprised to find the visitor wearing a frilly white dress.

"Mugi?"

"Hello!" She bowed and moved to sit down beside me on the crappy bed.

I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze, the embarrassment of our first meeting still burned in the back of my mind. She seemed a bit hesitant as well, but much more willing to move on. While I stared at my hands she glanced up at my face and frowned.

"I'm very sorry; I didn't think this would happen."

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who screwed up...Big time...I hope you aren't too mad about what happened?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?"

Are you serious?

"It's not your fault, Kyon. You couldn't help it. Besides, I'm glad I finally got to meet you! You don't know how much Mio goes on about you."

That's the third person to tell me that. Just how much hype has Mio spread about me?

"I suppose I'm a bit overrated then?" I muttered.

"No, you're even more incredible than I imagined."

Well I suppose I have an amazing ability to stuff up everything I do and attract all sorts of weird people. You could call that a talent in itself...

"So...Why are you here?" I asked, dejected.

Mugi met my disheartened inquiry with a beaming smile, "I'm here to set you free!"

"Huh? You aren't pressing charges?"

"No, I managed to smooth everything over with the school and the police!"

And how, pray tell, does your average high school girl coerce the law enforcement out of trying a criminal?

"I lied and told them we were a couple."

…

Say that again...

Mugi pressed her hands against her cheeks and giggled, "It's just like in the movies! I told the teachers and the police that you were my boyfriend and that I was the one who dragged you along to the school so that we could spend some time together. I also said that the others were lying just to cover for me and that they weren't actually involved. It worked perfectly! Especially when I cried!" She laughed some more and bounced around on the bed which is a feat considering the mattress is about as bouncy as concrete.

To be honest I was impressed. With one fabricated report she had absolved everyone of blame and even cleared my name. I'm not sure what movies Mugi watches but it seems they served a valuable purpose. But as astounding as her efforts may be, they were also quite frightening.

Against four near identical witness reports the police decided to believe her alone. How much influence can one girl have?! There's got to be something else at play here...

Oh well at least I'm cleared.

However, there is one lingering problem about all of this...

"So...we're supposed to be a couple now?" I asked.

"Yes! As long as we play the part convincingly you'll be free to go and Mio and the others won't be suspended! Isn't that amazing...Sweetheart?" Mugi immediately rolled on her side and blurted out laughing, "Oh my, I said it! I actually said it! Ha ha ha ha~!"

Well at least she's making the best of a bad situation...

But her request is easier said than done. How do you 'act like a couple'? I asked her, only to incite an oddly flustered smile. Against her alabaster cheeks her blushing stood out a mile away.

"Well, we just have to stand close and act really friendly!"

We tried that in the toilet cubicle and it didn't exactly work out for the best...But I suppose if she got this far I should be able to trust her.

The door behind us was flung open and two officers stepped in, each with a stony-eyed glare. "Alright, your parents are here to pick you up, son. As of now your charges of assault are dropped, but you will still be fined for lying to the police."

Mugi and I both bowed gratefully before trundling along outside under the watchful eyes of the guards. As per her orders I hesitantly stepped within that bubble of personal space that people like Haruhi and Koizumi seem to forget exists. We both blushed at our close presence, though that probably worked further in our favour.

Upon entering the front office I suddenly lost the will to live.

Standing around in varying degrees of patience were Koizumi and his associates from the Agency, Mr Arakawa and Miss Mori and that's right you guessed it...

Haruhi.

Before she even looked in my direction I could still see the anger in her expression, the look of bitterness and resentment that had been boiling over since last night. Her eyes were downcast, lips curled up in a derisive snarl. It begged the question of why she had even shown up if she was so angry with me, but I guess it would have been impossible for Koizumi to bluff his way out of heading here alone.

When at last she did look up I swear I could hear her blood rushing to her head from the other side of the room. From the sudden look of alertness on Koizumi's face I think it was safe to assume there were a few closed spaces cropping up at that very moment.

We all had some things we needed to say, but now was certainly not the time to say it. With begrudging looks we all averted our gazes and remained quiet. As if sensing the malevolence in the atmosphere Mugi cowered behind me and gripped my sleeve, but I doubt that would be doing any good.

Arakawa spoke with an officer at the front desk and took out a check-book. I'm not sure how expensive that fine was but I'm sure I'll be in serious debt to the Agency from here on out. And so after dealing with the police, Arakawa finally turned to me with a sternly disapproving look. He played the strict father role pretty well. If all goes well then Haruhi will be the last thing I have to deal with today.

I turned and gave one last look at Mugi who had whispered goodbye and squeezed my hand, offering a little wink as she did so. After looking around nervously I squeezed her hand back and tried to force a smile. Then I went over to my 'family' and was escorted outside.

My brother and sister made no attempt to communicate as we left the station but my mysteriously young mother hugged me and went through a tirade of being terribly worried and such. Arakawa voiced his displeasure and earned himself an award with his well-honed performance while also negotiating with the officer by his side.

Said officer then set a hand down on my shoulder and looked me straight in the eye. Compelled under his stare I listened closely to his words.

"You and your little girlfriend caused a great deal of trouble today. Don't let it happen again! Got it?"

"Yes sir." I bowed, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Haruhi's eyes widen in shock.


	19. Dissonance

Strangely enough, it was tenser riding home than it was heading to the station in the back of a police car. Thankfully Koizumi was once again feeling talkative as usual in the confidence of the car since no-one else felt like speaking. That's one of his good points I suppose, Koizumi will talk for hours by himself when he feels like it. It might not be the most soothing background music but it helps in situations like these.

"Hey, what are Mr Arakawa and Mrs Mori doing here? Don't they work?"

"They do," Koizumi replied casually, "but I caught them at a good time. You see I would have headed to the station alone but it would be obvious that we are the same age and so they would not believe me to be your father. I was fortunate enough to call Mr Arakawa on his break and so he so kindly offered to help out a friend in need."

"Huh...I suppose I should thank you guys for bailing me out." I nodded my head towards Mrs Mori who was driving and Mr Arakawa who was reading in the front passenger seat.

"There is no need to thank us." the wisened old butler said humbly.

I was glad that Koizumi managed to maintain their alibi while Haruhi was around. If he had slipped and mentioned the Agency then I'm sure Haruhi would speak up and ask a ton of questions. Instead, she remained subdued on the far right side in the back, staring out the window with her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

Koizumi, who sat in the middle seat clapped his hands and smiled his usual smile, "I must say our ruse went quite well, don't you?"

"I'm no longer at the station so I'd say that counts as a success..."

Koizumi nodded and stared out the window for a moment before turning back.

"I understand that this might be a little rude, but may I ask what exactly led to you being sent to the police station?"

Although her head didn't move, I noticed from her reflection in the window that Haruhi's eyes had suddenly shifted to spy on me.

With a sigh I carefully considered what to tell them.

"Well, after what happened at the concert I went for a walk around the town and got lost. That girl you saw at the station, her name was Tsumugi Kotobuki. She found me passed out on a park bench in the rain and took me back to her place to recuperate. When I woke up the next day I freaked out and...Lashed out at her. Her parents called the police but she came down to the station herself to clear my name."

Yeah that sounds believable. Good job me!

Haruhi scoffed at my alibi and resumed staring out the window. "Then what was that thing the officer said about 'your little girlfriend'?"

"How the hell should I know?" I snapped, getting more agitated then I thought I would at such a minuscule detail. "It was probably a joke!"

Haruhi's eyes rolled in the reflection of the window.

"Who was that girl at the concert Kyon?"

The question came out of nowhere, shot straight to the heart. An execution shot.

"What does that have to do with anything?! Why can't you just let that go?"

"Who was she?!" Haruhi snarled, finally turning to face me for the first time in the twenty minutes we had spent riding in the car.

"Now, now, no need to get angry." Koizumi chattered, raising his hands in peace. Neither of us paid him any heed.

"Why do you care so much? Just drop it okay?"

"No! You will answer your Brigade Chief and you will answer honestly! Who was that black-haired succubus at the concert?"

"Why should I tell you?" I snarled, "Besides, she's just a friend alright! Calm down!"

"You calm down! I can't believe you would raise your voice to your Brigade Chief!" she huffed while crossing her arms.

"I wouldn't be yelling if you weren't so bloody annoying! Why can't you just forget about that night? I don't want to talk about it!"

"Well I do!"

Koizumi was sweating. In a feeble effort to ease the situation he placed a hand on our shoulders and begged, "Please, everybody just calm down-"

"I will not calm down!" Haruhi snapped, "Not until Kyon explains his disgraceful behaviour! I treat you to a nice night out and you spit all over my hospitality and ditch me before the night even began!"

"You didn't treat anything! I paid for our train tickets and for the food and drinks! You didn't even pay for those concert tickets either! And when I try to do the right thing when someone is hurt you get all suspicious and yell at me as if I'm the bad guy!"

"You're making me out to be the one in the wrong!" Haruhi yelled.

"You are!" I roared, making Koizumi wince. "Why are you so jealous of Mio?"

"Mio huh? I see how it is!"

"What is there to see?"

Koizumi seemed to be trying to calm us both down, but his voice had been drowned out the entire time. Even his touch felt numb, failing on all counts to defuse the situation. This bomb was about ready to go off and it was too late to stop it now.

"You love her don't you?"

My heart stopped beating.

I stared at Haruhi with her eyes red and glistening with tears. Her lips were trembling now even as she maintained her scowl. This was a side I had never seen before and it terrified me. I instinctively shrank back in my seat, losing the bravado that had possessed me earlier. She had turned from a towering giant to a wounded young woman, and yet this new side felt immensely more intimidating.

"W-W-What?"

My cheeks burned.

"You love Mio. Why else would you have forsaken me?"

I gasped under the weight of her ridiculous words, "A-Are you retarded?! Listen to yourself!"

Haruhi shook her head and glared at me through clouded eyes, even so I could feel her gaze piercing my flesh.

"No, Kyon. I want to listen to _you_. No more lies!"

Under the pressure I began to cave in, "Look...She...She's my bass tutor! I've been putting so much effort into this band thing of yours and yet all you can do is fault me at every turn! Why can't you be happy that everyone is so willing to go along with your crazy schemes?! Why can't you just be like a normal person?!"

I felt like I had gained some ground with that one, but part of me wanted to really hit her hard and so, like the total idiot I am, my lips parted to unleash the absolute worst thing I possibly could...

"Mio cares about me, why can't you?"

…

Haruhi hunched forward and bowed her head, completely bowled over by that finishing move. Thinking I had won I leaned back in my seat and watched and waited in anticipation of the results.

Haruhi grit her teeth and clenched her fists. It was clear that she had lost this round. There's no way in hell she could counter from that and so she silently sat there until at last she managed to find her voice.

"Stop the car."

Nobody seemed to register that. After a moment she repeated herself, screaming until her voice was hoarse.

"Stop the car!"

Mrs Mori looked uncertainly to her comrades from the agency, both of whom looked equally stumped and then pulled over onto the shoulder of the road.

Without a word Haruhi tore free from her seat belt and jumped out of the car. She stared at me with eyes burning with rage and slammed the door so hard it made the entire car shake. Not giving us any time to reach out to her she spun on her heels and stormed off.

After watching her figure recede into the fading light of day I suddenly lost that sense of victory and became overcome with guilt.

Koizumi's smile vanished, a grave expression haunting his features. "Well...That was quite the display..."

"I'm...Sorry..."

Koizumi let out a harsh breath and frowned, "I don't think sorry is going to cut it this time."

In the blink of an eye, Koizumi got out of the car and looked around, "Hmm, I have quite a few closed spaces to deal with. Mr Arakawa, if you wouldn't mind assisting me it would be most appreciated. Mrs Mori, please take Kyon back home. I shall contact the others to send out a search for Miss Suzumiya."

With that I was left along with the ageless maid while the others all dealt with the consequences of my mistakes. I'd never felt so useless or as stupid as I had then...

I know it was the worst possible thing to do at this time, but I needed to make a phone call. I needed to talk to someone before matters got worse.

"Hello?"

"Mio..." I whispered, clutching my cell phone so hard it felt like it might shatter into a million pieces.

"Kyon? Is everything alright? You sound...I don't know...Scared?"

Boy was she right on that one.

"Mio...I did something bad. Something really, really bad!"

"Wait...Kyon are you crying? What happened?! I thought Mugi got you out of-"

"It's not about that." I quickly explained. "It's...Well, I haven't been entirely honest with you."

"What?!" she sounded flustered.

"You remember what happened at the concert last night? That girl you ran into? She's one of my classmates from North High. Her name is Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Uh-huh." I could almost see Mio nodding.

"She's got some strange ideas about you and me and...Well the short version is we just had a seriously nasty fight about it..."

"Oh dear, are you alright?"

"I'm..." I decided against my first choice of words, "...fine...But, until this blows over, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to stay in contact for a while."

"Oh..." she sounded defeated.

"I'm sorry, it's just. I don't want this Saturday to be ruined...For that I have to lay low for the next couple of days until Haruhi calms down. Don't take it personally, Haruhi just had this ridiculous idea that we were in love or something. Ha ha ha."

Mio was silent for a while.

"Mio?"

"Ha ha ha...How ridiculous..."

I forced a cough, "Anyway, I promise I'll get in touch whenever I can."

"Okay...Bye for now."

"Yeah, see ya..."

I spent the rest of the ride home with my head in my hands.


	20. Harmony

I couldn't sleep. How could I after all that had happened? I've hurt so many people over the last few days and now it's all suddenly piling up. I'm gradually getting crushed under all the guilt, regret, fear, doubt and any other nasty feelings you can come up with. Feel free to fill up the next few lines with such words because I don't want to do it lest I dig myself into an even deeper hole than I am now...

Forgive and forget as they say, but at this point I think both options are pretty much impossible. I've seen things that in some way or another cannot be forgotten and it goes without saying that I'm not going to be forgiven for whatever I did.

Haruhi has always been a tough one to handle, like that one stubborn child that won't obey their parents regardless of whether they bribe, negotiate or smack her. She has some strange ideas...Well stranger than usual I guess.

Ever since I helped Mio at that concert she has been exceptionally angry. So angry that she had intentionally gone out and broken the promise we had made on our summer trip on Koizumi's conveniently owned island. With churning stomachs, pounding headaches and the hangover from Hell, Haruhi and I had sworn off alcohol for good. She must have been really pissed to try and drink her troubles away. And that doesn't even factor in the drunken phone calls to Koizumi.

Ever since I walked off the other night, the world has been spiralling out of control. I should have seen the damage I had done, but instead I had to go ahead and make the biggest mistake of my life...

"_Mio cares about me, why can't you?"_

Even lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I can see Haruhi's face as I uttered those final words. That look in her eyes...A heart shattering into a million pieces...I'm sure of it.

That car ride was also the first time I'd ever seen Koizumi drop his smiling facade. It's also the first time I'd ever seen him genuinely distressed. Even when Haruhi was on the brink of creating a new world with me he still kept up the act, or what I assume to be so. Even when he could barely contact me, as that formless little ball of energy, I could hear his cheerful voice as usual.

But when he got out of the car I noticed a different side to him.

He was scared...

For all I know he could still be out there fighting those celestials in closed space. He could be out looking for Haruhi wherever she had gone. Whatever it is, I'm fairly certain that he's doing a better job than I am. Not too surprising really considering I'm just a normal human in all this mess. Even so, I can't shake the feeling that I'm the one holding everyone back.

* * *

It's strange but at some point I got out of bed and walked outside. I went for a walk through the streets, watching the scant few cars driving past and slowly made my way to the park. There was nobody there waiting for me this time. No surprises in store. Just distant memories.

I continued past the park and to the residential complex beyond the line of trees and across the road. I pressed the call button for a certain room and stood around waiting for a reply. Of course there was none. There's never a response, at least not one that is audible in any sense.

The door opened as if pushed by invisible hands and I found myself blindly strung along as if reeled in by an unseen force. I arrived outside that room before I could even figure out why I had gone in the first place. I guess it was reflex. Every other time something has gone wrong, this had always been the only place to go. And so I stood outside her room.

There in the doorway, Nagato was waiting.

"..."

"Hi Nagato..."

"..."

"Can I...Uh...Can I come in?"

Her head moved. Not enough for most eyes to detect, but I saw it, the almost imperceptible nod as her head bobbed forward a few millimetres. Her eyes remained the same as ever, as did the frozen line of her mouth, but I felt a strange vibe from her nonetheless.

Stepping aside, Nagato waited for me to enter before closing the door behind us. She watched on with her omniscient stare as I took off my shoes and made my way into the large open space of her living room. As usual it was decorated to the barest degree, though at least now it looked like someone lived here.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked, her monotone somehow relaxing.

"Yeah, sure. Tea I guess..."

While Nagato prepared the drinks I sat down at the low table in the centre of the floor, digging my knees into the tatami mat until it hurt. Naturally Nagato made no attempts at conversation, focusing solely on her mission at hand. I honestly didn't want to talk either, but for some reason or another I walked all the way over here, so I guess I should at the very least say something...

"Sorry for dropping by so suddenly...And so late," I muttered, glancing up at the clock on the wall. It was 2:30 in the morning. Most people would be asleep, but personally I've never seen Nagato sleep and part of me wonders whether she actually does. Maybe she just sits here looking out the window all night, or reads books until the sun rises. It's odd how little I know about my own Brigade members...

Nagato returned carrying a small pot and cups on a tray. She set them down with automated efficiency and slowly sat down across from me before methodically pouring our tea. Once she was finished she crossed her hands on her lap and stared at me.

"You wished to speak to me about Haruhi Suzumiya." she said, the words coming out more as a statement than a question.

I bowed my head and stared into the tea swirling in my cup, "Yeah...I feel like I'm lost. I mean I'm always in the dark about all this stuff, but now more than ever I feel like I'm totally stranded. It seems everyone is in the loop and I'm just strung along for the fun of it."

Nagato sipped silently at her tea and waited until her cup was firmly back on the table and her hands once again on her lap before answering. "You are a vital component in our mission. You are the key to Suzumiya's potential."

"I've heard that more than enough times. I just want to know why? I'm just a regular human being aren't I? Why am I somehow the secret ingredient all the time? Is there really something special about me that none of you are telling me?"

"No."

Well that was blunt.

"You are a human. You are Haruhi Suzumiya's link to reality. You are the means of regulating Haruhi Suzumiya's manipulation of data and maintaining satisfactory accumulation and distribution of data on Earth."

Well that probably explains a lot but I couldn't follow any of it other than the fact that I'm a human.

"Wait...Are you saying that simply because I'm the only normal person in our Brigade, I'm solely responsible for keeping Haruhi's from changing everything?"

Nagato looked at me for a quiet moment as if her response was loading and then spoke, "Essentially, that is correct. However an in depth explanation would be impossible as there is insufficient vocabulary on this planet."

"Well that doesn't really help much then. But why am I so important? What about Tsuruya-san or any of our other class-mates? Surely if Haruhi was less hostile to other people then they could serve the exact same function as me, right?"

"No. Haruhi Suzumiya chose you."

For some time I just stared at Nagato, until the question finally managed to slip out, albeit a little strained.

"Why?"

She didn't respond.

Damn it! This is going nowhere. I'm not going to gain any ground in this conversation so I might as well let it slide for now.

Though we drank our tea in silence, it never once felt awkward. In the time I've known Nagato I've also grown to cherish those rare moments of quiet I can get around the SOS Brigade. Although it's oddly unsettling how undetectable her breathing is, seeing Nagato just sit there is oddly transfixing. Despite shouldering the burden in our adventures almost every single time, she quietly accepts and does whatever necessary to keep everyone happy. Of course it is her mission and the reason she was sent here, but it's rather inspiring to see someone so dedicated that even after all we've been through she has never once complained.

Still, it makes you wonder whether inside that pretty little head she curses her job, or maybe she secretly resents Haruhi for putting her through so much over the short three years of her life.

Though dwelling on such things isn't important. For now, it's simply enough to watch her.

It's unusual for someone who moves so little to be so amusing to watch, but Nagato has a mysteriously hypnotic quality to her. Maybe it's because she's technically an alien, or because there's so much I still want to know about her, but it feels like I could sit here all night and observe the enigma of Yuki Nagato.

"Is something wrong?" she suddenly asked, throwing me off guard. I must have had a weird look on my face. Though it was a good enough chance to learn more about her.

I took it.

"Uh...Nothing's wrong. It's just...Well this may sound kind of dumb but do you Humanoid interfaces ever sleep?"

Nagato seemed to ponder that, her gaze drifting out the window to the sea of light down below. "Sleep is unnecessary. We remain functional at all times to ensure maximum efficiency."

I see...So I could have knocked on the door at sunrise and she would still be sitting around in her school uniform, just staring out the window or reading...Why does that make me feel sad all of a sudden?

Oh...

I leaned forward over the table and stared deep into the empty glass orbs so perfectly set in that porcelain mask, "Wait, if you don't sleep then...How can you dream?"

"Dream?" She echoed the word, uncertain. That's a rare sight, but I suppose a lot of weird things have been happening over the last few days.

"You don't know what dreams are?" the barely noticeable shake of her head brought a sombre smile to my face, "Dreams are...I guess it's like imagining things in your sleep."

"We do not require imagination. Only reality." said Nagato, though I couldn't help shake the sense of doubt in her words.

Hmm, that's a pretty narrow view of things. Dreams are the very reason you are here aren't they? All because three years ago a certain someone dared to imagine a world full of aliens, time travellers and espers. In fact I used to dream of meeting aliens as well, when I was younger. And travelling through time. Hell I dreamed so many impossible dreams and yet so many of them have come true over the last year and a half.

"You know...When I was a kid and I used to look up at the night sky I always wondered if there was someone out there looking right back at me. I suppose it's true with that Data Overmind thing out there somewhere. But the thing is, dreams are what push us to the limits of reality. They are the driving force behind our advances and our evolution. That potential locked away inside Haruhi that you guys are after...It's so very simple. It's the power to dream..."

I guess I got a little carried away back there, but something changed in Nagato's eyes as I was rambling on. There was a faint flicker of light inside...Was it perhaps hope?

"Dreams..." she whispered ever so quietly, as if mentally scrolling through her otherworldly vocabulary to try and understand it.

"Nagato...Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we were all just a bunch of regular people living in a perfectly normal world? Have you ever thought of what life would be like without all your missions and objectives and orders? Those are dreams."

That seemed to strike a chord with her. Memories up on that rooftop at the hospital, memories of the first time she showed her own free will. I too had a few memories flashing through my head; take for example that shy little bookworm in the literature club room, shaking as she reached out grab my sleeve, the adorably shy smile as she offered me a notice, the tear she shed as I said my goodbyes to her fantasy world.

I know I chose this world as my reality...But I often wonder how much better life would be for Nagato if she weren't tied to the Data Overmind.

"How do you dream?"

The question almost bowled me over, coming so suddenly. I stammered awkwardly for a while, unable to form a response to such an odd question. It's almost like asking how to breathe isn't it? It just sort of happens...

"I suppose...All you have to do is close your eyes and picture the world the way you want it."

Slowly, she closed her eyes.

I'm not sure how long it was that I was watching on in silent awe, but there was something only I could pick up on...Something which seemed to lift my ailing heart.

I saw a smile.

When she opened her eyes she seemed to exude an aura of warmth I'd never known existed. But we're still talking about Nagato so it wasn't like she was glowing or anything. "I had a dream," she whispered, her voice slightly more vibrant than usual, "a dream that the SOS Brigade would stay together...Eternally..."

That's it!

I hastily rose from the floor, almost flipping the table in the process and made for the door.

"Where are you going" Nagato asked in her vaguely expressive monotone.

After pulling on my coat and slipping my shoes back on I glanced back at her with a stupidly heroic grin on my face. But as embarrassing as it was, I was unreasonably pumped up. Flashing a Koizumi-style grin (I'll pay him the royalties some other time) I proudly declared,

"I'm going to make your dream come true!"


	21. Strike a Chord

It seemed like a great idea at the time. Find Haruhi, cheer her up and practice real hard at school the next day to make sure we're ready for the Battle of the Bands this Saturday. Sounds so heroic doesn't it?

Heroic, but not practical.

First of all, Haruhi wandered off halfway between towns so she could be just about anywhere by now. Second, it's approaching half past three in the morning and most likely by the time I actually do find Haruhi and have her feeling better, we will probably end up sleeping for the better part of tomorrow, skipping school entirely and thus not being able to practice.

And finally, even if we did practice, the fact of the matter remains that I completely suck at playing bass and that our chosen song for the contest is still too hard for me to play.

The short version would be that my stupid plan might sound cool but in reality is just doomed to fail. Kind of like communism...

Regardless, I promised Nagato that I would make her dream come true and so help me I'm gonna make it happen!

I rang Koizumi's cell and it was no surprise that he answered immediately.

"Hello."

"Hi...I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"Not at all, I'm currently on my way to the next closed space." I don't know how he could say that so calmly. Frankly if I were him I'd be really pissed off but he seemed completely at ease, as usual. At least he's calm again. Whatever emergencies may have cropped up earlier must be at least manageable by now.

"You know you are fortunate to have called when you did. Your call wouldn't reach had I been in closed space-"

"Well that's interesting and all, but I don't have all night so I'll cut to the chase. Have you found Haruhi yet?"

I could hear his smile widening.

"We've narrowed it down at the very least, but no we have not found her just yet. But don't worry, we have many agents out looking-"

God I wish there was a fast forward function for conversations with Koizumi.

"Tell me where you think she is!"

With a chuckle Koizumi explained, "From what we can tell she is returning to her home. We've been tracing back from where she wandered off and moving back from there and so far the trail seems to suggest she is closer to home than anything else."

"Well that makes things a little easier. By the way, you know Haruhi's home address don't you?" I asked.

Koizumi gave me her address and I gave him my thanks before trying to hang up, but just as my finger hovered over the end call button I heard the esper boy's voice rasping through the speaker. I brought it back to my ear and frowned, "What was that last part?"

He laughed again, but I wasn't in the mood to get angry about that so I let it go. When at last his chuckling faded out he repeated himself in a calming tone.

"Good luck. As much as I'd like to be the one to find her, this kind of task is far better suited to you. Godspeed Kyon, I believe in you."

I hung up.

Seriously, who says 'Godspeed' these days anyway?

But...Uh...You know...

Thanks...

…

Anyway, I ran through the streets, taking every short-cut I could on my way to Haruhi's house. Come to think of it, the only Brigade member who has invited me to their home is Nagato. In an emergency I wouldn't know where to find Miss Asahina or Koizumi, but then again if Koizumi were in trouble I'm sure he would bring it to my doorstep and even ring the bell.

Well there is still time. So long as Haruhi doesn't shuffle her deck of cards and deal out a new world then we'll have plenty of time to visit Koizumi's place. I'm sure it's a mansion paid for in full by the Agency with a pool out the back and a games room bigger than most houses. And of course I'll have to have a sleep-over at Miss Asahina's place; most likely a modest little house with cutely decorated walls and old fashioned furniture.

Sorry to bore you, I'm just killing time while watching the world flow by.

Leaping over gardens and vaulting fences, sprinting down quiet streets, even with all the corners cut it took forever to finally arrive outside Haruhi's house.

It suddenly dawned on me that I had never even thought about what kind of home Haruhi would have, though I did always peg her as having something extravagant and larger than what is necessary. Thus it was quite a shock to find myself standing before a humble little home, even smaller than mine.

The lights were off in the small square windows and the vague luminosity of the moon barely lit up the place. From what I could tell the garden was a little overgrown, but evidently tended to. Surely Haruhi doesn't do gardening, so it must be her mother...

But Haruhi never mentioned anything about her mother. I wonder if the apple fell far from the tree, or if Miss Suzumiya is a gentle lady, far more reserved and balanced than her excessively eccentric daughter.

I got to thinking of her parents, of her room, her life; imagination going wild with the limitless possibilities.

After an eternity of waiting, I heard somebody walking down the street towards my perfect hiding spot in the bushes of her neighbour's house. I squinted out at the figure, whom became nothing more than a backlit silhouette beneath the street lights. As the figure grew nearer the sound of curses and panting filled the noiseless streetscape.

Upon closer inspection, the figure was carrying something in one hand while furiously wiping their brow with the other.

She stopped before Haruhi's house and stared at the unassuming little dwelling. She stooped over and tried to catch her breath after such a long walk and trudged along the path to the front door where she threw down the shoes she was carrying and dropped down onto the front step to once again catch a break.

I withdrew from the neighbour's bushes and strolled casually out onto her front lawn, offering a half-assed wave. "Hi. Did you have a nice walk?"

Because being a smart-ass is the most productive thing to do in a bad situation.

Haruhi snapped to attention and looked around in a daze, obviously not expecting a visitor at such a ridiculous hour. Once her eyes settled on me, her expression grew ashen and she choked out my name, uncertain whether to be surprised or furious.

I slowly approached her, my footfalls making loud crunching sounds. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier..."

"So that's why you're here...Who told you where I live?"

"A friend."

"Koizumi!"

That was a good guess...

I stood over Haruhi and offered my hand. She swatted it aside and stood up by herself, staring daggers at me in the darkness. A faint stabbing sensation seemed to radiate around my chest and I had to look down to make sure she hadn't actually cut me, but it seems it was all from the power of her glare and nothing more.

Such a frightening girl!

"I have nothing to say to you!" she snarled, oddly enough being considerate of her neighbours and being relatively quiet. Not to mention the irony of actually saying that to me, but now is not the time for semantics.

I simply laid a hand on her shoulder, the contact making her flinch. Our eyes met as the words rolled off my tongue and floated off in the twilight breeze.

"Haruhi...We need to talk..."

Her eyes seemed to lose focus and her gaze swept along the ground, unable to hold out against my own. With trembling lips and hands she backed up against the door, making more distance between us. When she was ready she gave me her best glare and snapped back at me.

"I only have one question. What is your relationship with that Mio girl?"

I knew she wouldn't let it drop, not after what happened on the drive back. Whatever she believes exists between Mio and me is the secret thorn in her side. But honestly she seems more sure about it than I am. I don't even know what our relationship is! In fact to use the word relationship feels wrong somehow...It's not like...Well..._That_!

Aren't we friends? But even that word seems to fall short of explaining what we've shared.

Haruhi wants a definitive answer but as it stands there isn't one to give. It's like asking the exact number of pi! What am I supposed to do? What does she want anyway? Why is Haruhi so damn spiteful towards Mio? Does she think I'm going to leave the SOS Brigade and become a roadie for Houkago Tea Time?

Wait a minute...

"Haruhi..." deep inhale, "You are my Brigade Chief. That's all you need to know."

Her face scrunched up and for a moment I feared my answer had only just made everything worse, but then her expression softened into a strained smile and a tiny laugh escaped.

"Kyon...You idiot."

I smiled right back at her and bowed deeply, "I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for causing all this trouble and...I suppose anything else that might have gotten you mad might as well be written off with me too."

Haruhi puffed her chest out with that pride that only she could muster and quietly declared, "Humph! A noble deed, minion. You may yet absolve your sins..." then her bravado seemed to waver as she began to blush, "But...Only if you come inside..."

I rolled my eyes and followed her inside the mysterious den of the damned otherwise referred to as Haruhi's house.

* * *

Shrunken heads, occult symbols, a mosaic of newspaper clippings about unidentified flying objects and alien sightings, star maps with highlighted regions and tiny flags, creepy dolls, cursed items, haunted objects and all manner of straight out weird stuff.

Try as I might I couldn't find anything like that inside Haruhi's house.

Am I lost? This can't be Haruhi's house! It's...It's..._normal_!

"What are you looking at?" Haruhi snapped, put off by my constantly wandering eyes.

I glanced over in her direction and frowned, "Sorry, I just thought your house would be...Different somehow..."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. With the way you go on and on about the unusual and unexplained I thought it would be more like a haunted house or something. It's shockingly reserved."

With a laugh Haruhi flicked her hair and educated the poor fool standing dumbfounded in her living room. "Well obviously! Why else do you think I want to find all that stuff? If I already had all that then what's the point in searching anymore?"

Ha...I guess that does make more sense. How foolish of me to assume the strangest girl in known existence to have a suitably strange home. That's so silly! That's what I get for applying logic to the world of Haruhi Suzumiya. But then, what she just said was sort of logical too right? Damn it! Now I'm confused all over again! Which one of us is the moron here?

"You make the dumbest faces when you space out like that..." Haruhi grumbled while wrestling out of her coat and draping it over the couch. She stifled a yawn and stared up at a clock on the wall.

"Geez, it's pretty late isn't it? Want something to drink?"

That was pretty surprising. Considering just hours ago this girl was close to tearing out my throat and now she was simply acting like nothing had ever happened. Am I supposed to believe she just wanted to get some exercise and so decided to get out of the car and walk for five hours? Well whatever, it's usually safer to play along with this one.

"Sure, I'll have tea."

She shook her head.

"I haven't got any tea."

"Ok, coffee?"

"Nope."

"Juice?"

"Oh I haven't had that in a while! Don't have any though."

Then what am I supposed to drink?!

Haruhi disappeared into the kitchen accompanied quite shortly by a cacophony of cluttering and banging. When she returned she brandished a large glass bottle, presented like a prize in a lottery. She even went so far as to pose and say, "Ta-dah!"

I instantly felt sick upon seeing the bottle.

"Is that wine?" I asked fearfully, pointing at the cursed thing as if it were about to bite me.

A cheeky grin spread across her face and made that nauseous feeling increase tenfold. On any other girl that smile would be pretty cute but on her it's the harbinger of destruction or something unbelievably stupid and humiliating. Either way it's always bad.

"Yeah, there isn't much left in this bottle but there's another one I haven't opened yet!"

Alright...First of all, where the Hell did that stuff come from? No matter how forceful you are, even the mighty leader of the SOS Brigade would be refused sale in any liquor store nationwide. Second, why do you even have that stuff?! I know my memory of that night is a haze as well, but surely you remember that hangover on our summer trip? Third, why would you offer me that stuff when you know damn well I swore never to touch another drop of that poison ever again! And finally, whether or not I accept it, you're gonna make me drink that aren't you?

Haruhi giggled and I smacked myself in the face.

This is going to be a long night...

* * *

Please review, it helps more than you think.


	22. Distortion

A deceptively sweet taste washed down with a bitter aftermath. The softly bubbling poison suddenly looking like the stuff swilled around in a witch's cauldron. Every second a reminder of exactly why I swore never to touch this stuff again. But judging from Haruhi's unusually happy tone, I can't shake the feeling that she won't be satisfied until I play along with her game.

Honestly, why do I have to be the one to bear the brunt of her wrath all the time? But I suppose since I can't exactly fight celestials and conveniently alter the data of the world or travel back in time to prevent my foolish mistakes I'm left with my own mission...

Do whatever it takes to make Haruhi happy again.

Unfortunately it seems this time it'll take a punishment game to keep our heads above water for now.

After my third mouthful my face scrunched up into what must have been a ridiculous mockery of an expression as Haruhi let out a loud outburst of laughter. From the looks of things she had only taken one sip of her own glass.

"Wow, Kyon, I thought you could handle it better than that! We drank till dawn on our Summer trip!"

"Yeah and the aftermath of said drinking till dawn was enough of a signal that we shouldn't be doing this! Where did you even get wine at your age?"

Haruhi set down her glass and gave a proud smile, puffing out her chest triumphantly, "Ha! That was easy! When you ditched me at the concert I had to make my way home myself. It was easy to get stuff dressed in that outfit!"

You extorted free bottles of wine from some unfortunate soul by abusing your looks? That's almost as bad as your manner of procuring a computer for the club-room! But at least you only used yourself this time. Though there is no denying that what you did was terribly wrong!

"I didn't do anything gross, I just asked them nicely!"

"And why would you want wine anyway? I thought we were in agreement back then that we would stay away from it forever."

"I know, I know, but that night we only tasted it for the first time. Of course we didn't know our limits! But now we do! As long as we drink less than what we did back at the villa we should be fine!"

I'm not buying that at all. No matter how deep the blade goes in, getting stabbed still hurts.

Haruhi scoffed and leaned back into the couch, "Geez, Kyon! Don't be such a stick in the mud! You must seize opportunity."

"What opportunity? This is stupid! In fact it's worse than stupid! This is illegal!"

"But rock stars are known for their wild parties and drinking habits! This is practice for when we make it big in the industry!" Haruhi beamed at the idea of climbing the charts and taking over the world, but realistically our skill probably won't even earn us a participation prize in the battle of the bands, let alone win.

With a sigh I followed her cue and gulped down another mouthful, emptying the glass. I could already feel my head getting lighter as Haruhi generously poured another glass. I guess I was being too optimistic to think one glass would be enough.

No, knowing her, this is going to be a painful re-enactment of our summer trip. If the night doesn't end in a drinking game of some sort then I'll be pleasantly surprised.

"Oh yeah...About that, how has practice been coming along?" Haruhi asked, staring down into her glass as she swilled the wine inside.

I didn't want to tell her that I hadn't practiced at all since we last met at school so I formulated another lie to keep her anger at bay, knowing full well that I was treading on a minefield right now.

"Well as soon as I got home earlier today I went through our song. I'd say I'm just about ready for the competition. How about you?"

"I was born ready!" she declared arrogantly, "And Yuki and Mikuru are doing great as well. I never knew they were so good with instruments, especially Mikuru! She drums better than the pros!"

"Yeah, how about that..."

"Koizumi is doing alright. You two are lagging behind but as long as you do your best I, as your Brigade Chief will be pleased." She concluded on a warm smile with a sparkle in her eyes.

"But what if our best isn't enough?" I dared ask.

"Then heads will roll!" she said with that same smile.

We got to discussing the band and the competition, whittling away the time while my glass continued to be emptied and refilled. I hadn't been paying much attention to how much Haruhi was drinking, but coincidentally her glass was always at the same level every time I hazarded a glance.

The first bottle ran on empty and Haruhi opened the second one much to my chagrin. I may have lasted this long but the effects were really starting to sink in deep at that point. I was leaning heavily into the couch, legs going limp, head spinning. I felt weightless, yet undeniably anchored to the couch and unable to stand.

I was starting to laugh more than usual at Haruhi's stupid jokes and even trying to tell my own, usually to the point where I was the only one cracking up at my own inebriated wit.

Haruhi seemed to have cheered up from before. When she first let me inside I could tell she was still fuming over what happened, pretending we were on good terms just to avoid making a disturbance in the street, but it seemed making twin fools of ourselves was working a treat as any and all traces of lingering suspicion and anger were drained away like the wine in our glasses. As much as it went against my best wishes, for the sake of Nagato's dream...for the sake of everyone's happiness...

…

I forget where I'm going with this...

Ugh, I should really stop...

"Are you alright?" Haruhi asked, setting down her glass which, like every other time I looked, was about half full.

I waved aside her concerns and sighed, "No, I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Well then wake yourself up a little!" she chirped as she topped up my glass again. "The night has just begun!"

According to the clock the night ended about five hours ago. The sun will be up soon...

I shook my head and shied away from the bottle, "No thanks. I've definitely had enough."

Haruhi pouted her lips and sulked, "Aw come on!"

This has to be the liquor talking, but that expression was utterly enchanting. Compelled under her alluring gaze my hands moved of their own accord and offered the glass in tribute. More like a sacrifice if you ask me, but it seemed things were getting out of my control now.

Dragged along as if having an out of body experience I further drank myself into oblivion, well past being 'buzzed' and into the realm of drunken lucidity. Barely able to hold myself up, I collapsed into the couch, sinking through the cushions and swallowed whole. Well not really but at this point my sanity had decided to wander off somewhere else.

I'm not sure whether Haruhi actually asked or not, but I ended up telling her the origins of my nickname; the cursed moniker which has haunted my high school life thus far, ensuring that even my closest friends don't actually know my real name. I also told her more about my past, such as the elusive and misunderstood 'relationship' I had with my sister's friend.

Haruhi took it all in with keen interest, listening intently to every single word as if mentally jotting it all down.

Come to think of it, she appeared totally unfazed by the wine, even after so many glasses. If she was so good at handling her alcohol then what on earth happened on our summer trip? Was that just Haruhi pretending to be drunk just to have an excuse to make a fool of herself?

Unless...No, she wouldn't do that! That's silly!

Just out of curiosity I glanced down at her glass (Half full) and observed her bring the glass to her mouth and drink. After what appeared to be an overly generous swig she lowered her glass which, strangely enough, remained half full.

I must be seeing things...

"Hey, Kyon?"

Her voice surprised me and under normal circumstances I would have jumped, but in my intoxicated state I simply flopped around like a fish on dry land and stared wide eyed at the girl sitting close beside me. I tried to respond but stumbled all over my words as if my tongue had rolled out beneath my feet.

With a cheeky little laugh Haruhi stared me square in the eyes and asked in a voice as smooth as silk, "Kyon...Do you like anyone?"

"Like what?" I mumbled, voice slurring.

"You know!" she said with a playful smile, punching me in the arm as she did so. "You're always telling me to settle down with some guy! Do you have any girls you fancy?"

I laughed at the question, though I'm not sure why.

"I don't know...There's a lot of girl's out there..."

"Well then there must be one you like more than the rest!" she goaded, poking and prodding me despite the fact I could barely feel it. I think my arms and legs had long since fallen asleep. "What about in the SOS Brigade, huh?"

I laughed again as I fell against the armrest. "That's too hard to choose!"

"Really? So you've fallen for Yuki's charms as well? I never had you pegged for one of those guys."

What is that supposed to mean? What's wrong with Nagato?

"Nothing, it's just I always thought you were part of Mikuru's fan club."

We both laughed at that, falling against each other to make sure neither of us dropped off the couch.

"Yeah, I'm in Miss Asahina's fan club alright! Here is my membership card!" I took something out of my wallet and showed it to her. Of course it wouldn't be a membership card, that was just a joke. Hell it didn't even feel like a card, it was just a slip of paper or something. Probably a receipt...

Haruhi's laughter faded quickly but she maintained a smile. I hope there wasn't anything embarrassing on that paper. I might not remember it tomorrow but she probably will!

I looked down at the paper and frowned. I couldn't read it, even after bringing it within a hairs breadth of my face and squinting at the jumbled lines on the page. I gave up and put it back in my wallet.

"Ok, what about outside of our club. Has anyone stolen poor little Kyon's heart?"

I blushed.

"Aha! Caught you red handed! Who is it? Who is it? Tell me! Tell me!"

She was practically jumping on the couch now, shaking me like a ragdoll. It's hard enough to organise my thoughts around Haruhi but at this stage it started to give the impression of having just gotten off a roller-coaster. My head was still spinning even as she let me go and amid dizzy gibberish I uttered a name.

"Mio Akiyama, my bass tutor. I've told you about her right?"

Haruhi's expression was complicated but I wasn't in a position to work it out. It was hard enough for my mind to catch up with the words spilling out of my mouth. Before I knew it I'd said all sorts of random stuff.

"She's really shy...But determined! And she's really...cute...She s-sort of remin – hic' - reminds me of Miss Asahina, b-but prettier..."

Haruhi made a face like a detective who had figured out the case from the very beginning finally hearing the criminal confess. Crossing her arms a thin smile crossed her face.

"So you really do like Mio huh?"

I stared at her as if she had just asked the most obvious question in the world, though I wasn't truly sure about how to answer it myself. In the end I just glanced down and rattled off more meaningless little titbits about the short time I'd spent with Mio as if it were somehow relevant to the question which I had already forgotten.

"Mio is...Very important..."

Though I'm certain I said something, none of the words seemed to register at all inside my head. I finally understand why deaf people feel hesitant to talk to others, it's rather unsettling having to talk and yet having no idea whether your mouth is translating your thoughts correctly. For all I know I could be telling a dirty joke or insulting her by mistake.

It sure seemed that way as a disturbed look spread across her face. She uttered something with eyes downcast and shoulders trembling, but I couldn't hear anything more than the blood rushing in my head. Dizzy beyond belief I couldn't keep my eyes on any single point for too long either. A bitter taste lingered on my tongue and sank all the way down to my stomach leaving waves of nausea to crash against the distant shore at the base of my oesophagus.

I doubled over and banged my head on the coffee table, rolling off the couch and onto the floor. Too tired to move I stayed there, but Haruhi must not have wanted to have a conversation with my back so she remained quiet. Or maybe I just wasn't listening? She might not have even been in the room anymore, I couldn't tell.

I fell asleep soon afterwards...

I don't remember dreaming, but I'm sure I had nightmares...


	23. Warm Up

I'm not sure when it was that I first heard it, but I'm sure it was well past morning. Well past the time when most high schoolers my age would be shuffling off to school and sitting down for their first lessons. Well past the time when the paths are choked with people and the roads clogged like distended drainage pipes during the morning rush.

All the while I had been asleep.

Well to say asleep isn't as appropriate as it would seem in such a situation. It was more like a coma, one that I feared I would never wake from, except for that one moment when I crawled around in fruitless search of a bathroom and with no other option violently threw up in the kitchen sink.

Despite purging myself of the poison it seemed its effects had not worn off as immediately preceding the aforementioned vomiting I had passed out on the kitchen floor which was cold enough to worm its chill through my numb flesh and freeze my heart.

Such as it were that I was surprised to wake up in a different room, certain I had never moved from the kitchen. Looking around it seemed I was in the living room again. A pillow and blankets were spread out on the couch but I was lying on the floor with only the corner of the blanket wrapped around my ankle. I guess I roll about a lot in my sleep?

But rolling from one room to another and setting up a bed for one's own self is a little too extraordinary, which could only mean Haruhi had one of her rare 'nice' phases and took pity upon the poor fool who delayed if not cancelled breakfast.

Anyway, there was a soothing sound coming from the other room. A lilting, sweet song that seemed to soothe the pounding pain in my head. Other sounds accompanied it as well, a strange jangling sound and some kind of ticking, though it may have just been a clock, though the seconds seemed to be faster than usual.

Although it was difficult to do so I managed to drag myself to the hall way and peer into the next room. Judging from the bed in the corner it would have been Haruhi's bedroom.

And there she stood in the middle of the room, facing the mirror, guitar in hand, playing a song. The guitar was unplugged so it was harder to pick out what exactly she was playing, but the words were awfully familiar. It was a song Haruhi had played before, but when?

That's right!

The cultural festival! This was one of ENOZ's songs. More to the point it was the one we were supposed to be performing at the battle of the bands. Haruhi was practising alone by herself, putting her all into it regardless of her missing audience. Apparently Haruhi behaves the same whether or not the spotlight is on her.

It was calming to see her back to her usual energetic and meaninglessly determined self. Her brooding melancholic side was always frightening.

I figured having a hangover wouldn't go down well with music, but this unplugged aria did wonders for the migraines. I could have watched her all day, but after coming to her break during what would be Nagato's guitar solo, she turned and noticed me out of the corner of her eye. A delightfully embarrassed cry escaped her as she whirled around and stared at my not-so-well-hidden self lying semi-comatose on the floor outside her room.

"Kyon? What are you doing?"

I wanted to sit up but couldn't. Finding the situation hopeless I flopped over onto my side and groaned, "Not much..."

She studied me with a curious gaze and frowned. "Are you alright? You drank quite a lot."

"Suffice to say I survived the night. Things look to be on the up and up from here on out." I tried to force a smile but the movement in my facial muscles sent tremors deep inside my skull, reverberating with waves of pain.

"Kyon!"

I heard Haruhi's guitar softly grind against the wall and then the soft padding of her footsteps. When I opened my eyes again she was kneeling over me, helping to prop me up against the wall. I tried to offer whatever help I could but it seemed rather futile. It took quite some time before I was on my feet (leaning very heavily upon Haruhi of course) and stumbled back into the living room where the couch was calling my name. I appeased the upholstered siren and collapsed into it.

Haruhi sat down on the floor beside me and offered a glass of water.

"Here. I don't want you dying on me so close to the competition."

You shouldn't have kept pouring the wine if you were that concerned. This is as much your fault as it is mine. No wait; it's _all _your fault! You pressured me into drinking and wouldn't let me stop...As far as I can remember...Which isn't very far...

I give up on the blame game. There's no point in pointing fingers. It was a mistake to say the least and it can stay at that for now. It's best to just push it from our thoughts and forget whatever actually happened last night.

Though I must say Haruhi is in a better mood now which is certainly inspiring in an underwhelming sort of way. Regardless of her mood I tread a treacherous path, but of course a happy Haruhi is easier to appease than one on the verge of destroying the world. Although her 'Hey guys I've got a great idea!' smile is a truly bad omen, it's immeasurably more tolerable than her deathly stare.

"Sorry about last night..."

Surprisingly it was Haruhi who spoke then.

"Huh? Why are you apologising?" Despite placing the blame on her head I never expected her to sincerely beg forgiveness like that.

"Well isn't it obvious? I was irresponsible as Brigade Leader and failed to recognise when you had too much to drink. What I did was reckless and I promise it will never happen again."

You forgot the part where you forced me to drink in the first place when I could already foresee these events happening and of course the whole not stopping at the first bottle. But never mind you've made a start. It's something, a rare little gem to hold onto.

"Shut up, idiot."

"Sorry, I think I'm still a little drunk..."

Haruhi scoffed at that. "You want coffee? I hear coffee is good for a hangover!"

You don't have any...

"Yes I do! I went to the shop and bought some."

"What? When did you even-"

"While you were sleeping!"

That still would have been about six or seven in the morning. Maybe Haruhi is like Nagato and remains in a state of constant awareness and simply does not require sleep. Though with her hyper energy I always had her in mind as one of those people who crash as soon as they get home. I suppose that was foolish of me to think the wild fire-cracker ever needed rest. I should have remembered that the laws of reality don't apply to Haruhi. Even though they say that everything which goes up must come back down, Haruhi remains in the clouds...

Since three years ago...

"Here." she chirped, offering a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma itself filtered through my nostrils and sent waves of calming pleasure throughout my poisoned body. All the toxins no doubt stewing in my liver cowered under the searing, yet smooth coffee which thankfully drowned the taste of vomit lingering on the tip of my tongue. I let out a contented sigh which resulted in a victorious smile from Haruhi.

"It's good isn't it? Mikuru may make a good cup of tea, but my coffee is second to none!"

I bet its store bought, pre-ground instant coffee.

Haruhi went red in the cheeks and puffed up like a blowfish backed into a corner, "Shut up!"

There's no need to get defensive! It's still good coffee!

"Yeah? Well...Exactly!"

Exactly what? That you're a liar or that this is store-bought?

"My coffee is second to none!"

Ok whatever, don't listen. It's precisely that kind of stubbornness that makes me thankful that Koizumi was my only opponent in the board games we played in the club room. A match would Haruhi would result in punishment whether I won or lost. Actually that applies to everything our SOS Brigade does...

Good or bad, I always have to do something to get my hands dirty...

"Hey! Don't space out on me!"

Ah...She's still here...

I looked around for a clock and frowned, "What time is it?"

Without even checking anywhere, Haruhi declared it to be two o'clock. Which of course equates to another missed day of school. Honestly with my grades I can't afford to keep having these days off. By the time finals roll around I'm gonna be screwed! I could ask Haruhi to tutor me, but something tells me that would only lead to more problems.

"Don't worry about school! We've got more important things to worry about!"

I bet we do.

"We've got to practise! If you're up and talking then you should be ready for rehearsals!"

Rehearsals? Just ten minutes ago I had to crawl to your room and you expect me to run home and pick up my bass?!

"Don't worry, we can catch a taxi."

We?

"Yup!"

Oh Christ...I guess she still doesn't trust me. Well whatever, as long as she pays for the taxi I'll be grateful...

* * *

I paid for the taxi fare. Both ways. I was understandably seething, but Haruhi was overflowing with her boundlessly schizophrenic energy. She's really set on this band thing. Perhaps Haruhi might have found something she can apply herself to and not get bored? But I'd say I'm being too optimistic to think a girl with an attention span equal to or lesser than a goldfish could possibly be satisfied and pursue just one path.

No, Haruhi is like a greedy gal game player, aiming for the harem route from the get-go.

Anyway, rather than head back to Haruhi's house, we went out further to a house I hadn't visited in quite some time. Nonetheless, no matter how many times I'd visited the place, its sheer size still did numbers on my brain. Unable to fathom how one family can own such a magnificent and huge estate began to hurt my brain when the additional concepts of summer homes and shrines and ski resorts came into play.

That's right, we stopped outside the home of the one household that could possibly boast more money than Koizumi's Agency; the Tsuruya family.

Said heiress and resident weirdo of the SOS Brigade, Ms Tsuruya was waiting outside the gate, dressed in a fashionable kimono. Her long straight hair was done up in a ponytail so you can't blame me for staring, especially the way her hair bounced as she waved ecstatically from the gate.

Tsuruya and Haruhi almost re-enacted a cheesy reunion scene from some old drama, running towards the other only to collapse in each other's arms. The only kicker was the girlish giggling and feverishly fast-paced chatter and of course the important fact that this was not a movie.

It was only as an afterthought that the maiden of the Tsuruya family caught wind of my presence and suddenly lunged at me with alarming speed.

"Heya Kyon! You ready to rock?" Tsuruya struck a pose, playing air guitar promptly before bursting into an insanely loud fit of laughter, preventing me from answering the question. Rather than be rude and interrupt, I just let it sit in limbo while Tsuruya entertained herself.

"Thanks again for letting us use your studio!" Haruhi beamed.

Wait, they have a music studio as well? What don't you have?!

"Ha ha ha ha! It's not a real studio, nyoron! It's just a spare room full of some free stuff we got from my family's music shop. It rarely gets used so if you guys are megas trying to form a band then you can totally check it out!"

Owning a music store is a little bit more impressive than having a recording studio...

Either way I'm impressed, though it's nothing new coming from the girl who seems to have more handy stuff at her disposal than Koizumi and his entire Agency. While Koizumi may have connections, the Tsuruya family has establishments. Perhaps they win?

Speaking of, Koizumi, Miss Asahina and Nagato all arrived in another taxi some ten minutes later, all bundling their instruments. It was only then that something dawned on me. If Tsuruya has an over-abundance of instruments just sitting inside, why did Haruhi force us to bring our instruments along? I bit the bullet and asked her.

"Don't worry about it!" explained our hopeless Brigade leader. But ignoring the question doesn't disguise the fact that you overlooked that fact Haruhi. It seems even gods can make conscious mistakes...

"Stop complaining Kyon! How can you call yourself a roadie if you can't even handle carrying one measly guitar around?"

Roadie? I thought I was playing bass? Oh forget about it, I don't care. It's just another few days until the competition and then we can forget about this whole band thing and return to our regularly irregular lives in the club room.

At least I hope so...


	24. Rehearsal

There were only two days left until the competition. One if you exclude the sparse few hours left of today. But you can write off another few hours for the trip to Tokyo and the setting up in a hotel room somewhere (of which there won't be a sufficient performing space) and the inevitable sight-seeing trip Haruhi will oblige our sad little Brigade into doing. So you might as well sum it up with the sad fact that this rehearsal session is pretty much the last we can perform properly as a group until the competition.

Judging from our last rehearsal session we're far from ready, but considering Nagato and Miss Asahina are past the stage of going pro we might be able to pull it together to the point of fooling the judges into believing we have talent. Also if Haruhi performed the song at the cultural festival well enough with only an hour's preparation she should be more than ready by now. As for Koizumi, I don't doubt for a second that he's been using his connections with the Agency to hire tutors and ensure he's ready. And so, as I feared it all came down to me.

As long as they turn me down enough on the night no-one will be able to notice my mistakes (Since I actually haven't had the time to practice since receiving the sheet music for the first time two days ago.)

After being led through the expansive Tsuruya manor, which I might add, appears to get bigger every time I come here, we arrived at the so aptly named 'music room'. It looked like a storehouse out the back of a major chain music store with guitar racks, scattered drum kits and all sorts of equipment lying around. No wonder Haruhi called it a studio...I'm sure there's enough to go around to record a couple of records at once if they so desired.

"It's a bit crowded but it you move some stuff aside it should be fine!" Tsuruya chirped, waving spastically at the musically themed Tetris game going on inside the music room.

"Thanks so much Tsuruya! What do I owe you?" Haruhi beamed, clearly in a brighter mood now that her goal is closer in sight.

Tsuruya shook her head, still laughing from whatever set her off before, "It's on the house Haru-nyan! But if you guys win I want credits on your CD!"

Haruhi nodded assertively and gave her a thumbs up, somehow taking her comment seriously. Well it's not like we're gonna record an album anyway. Nonetheless, the ever-cheerful Tsuruya laughed again, or perhaps more accurately, laughed still since she never really stopped to begin with. Her lungs must be seriously strong to be able to endure such gruelling punishment. I'm sure if I laughed non-stop for more than ten minutes I'd be wheezing on the floor and dialling for an ambulance. Tsuruya endures for even longer as if it's nothing...

Anyway, after a short clean-up we cleared enough floor space to set up the drums and a keyboard and still have enough room to fit the rest of us inside. Tsuruya remained with us, clearly keen to hear how we sound. For some reason I felt really embarrassed, even though a crowd of one should be a whole lot easier to perform to than that of hundreds.

Even with all the stuff crammed into the room it was oddly spacious. The one room almost rivalled the size of my entire house making me envy the hyperactive heiress far more than ever before.

"Alright!" Haruhi yelled, as if competing over the other instruments.

Funny how no-one was playing at that moment though...

I think she just wanted to yell for the sake of yelling.

"Alright guys! We haven't got much time left before the concert so let's do this and let's do it right! Got it Kyon?"

Why are you directing that at me?!

"One, two, three, four!" Haruhi counted us in and then it we all launched into it.

I must say we sounded far better than we did the other day. Everyone else's practise had really paid off. I obviously can't say the same for myself, having only gotten through the first riff before stumbling and failing through the rest of the song. Haruhi glared back at me every now and then while still managing to sing clearly and simultaneously play the guitar. Nagato was pitch perfect for every note as expected and Miss Asahina was not only spot on, but absolutely adorable as she freaked out and panicked at her surprising adeptness at drums. She still wasn't used to being a percussion prodigy and her frightened whimpers and teary eyes made for fun viewing when I had no clear idea of what else to do.

The song ended and everyone turned back to me, though mostly with sympathetic eyes. There was just one in the group that burned and that of course was Haruhi.

"Kyon! I thought you said you practised at home!"

I did...Just not for the past three days...

"Are you serious?! What about the competition?!"

Well if I remember right, from the very beginning I've been telling you that two weeks was never going to be enough time to prepare.

"Dammit Kyon! I'm serious! Why haven't you practised?! We've put our heart and soul into this and you've just been wasting time! Everyone is trying so hard...Why can't you?"

"Hey I've managed to pick up the bare basics of playing the bass in just eight days. That's impressive enough. But there's more to it than just that. It takes time to become good enough to perform."

"We don't have time! Just get better!"

"Ha ha ha! Kyon's in trouble!" Tsuruya cheered from the sidelines.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and glanced over to the others. "Practice quietly by yourselves for a bit I'll teach Kyon the song."

Everyone complied, but I could tell they were all watching me even as they tinkered with their instruments. Haruhi slapped the sheet music down in front of me and stabbed a finger at one of the lines about a third of the way down.

"Play this!" she snapped.

I played it.

Badly...

"No! Like this! Like this!" she fumed, pointing with more emphasis at the notes. Does she realise that's no help at all?

With a great sigh Haruhi played the line herself on her guitar and then waited for me to imitate her. This always worked with Mio so surely it should work with her, right? I learned a whole lot faster watching Mio's fingers dance along the neck of her bass during her lessons.

It's odd but I couldn't help but notice the difference between how Haruhi and Mio play their instruments. Mio's fingers move with grace while Haruhi's fingers seem to try and rush and get ahead of themselves. When I tried to play the riff (And failed, by the way) I noted how my fingers staggered along like drunks.

Unfortunately my observation diary won't get published and nobody cares, especially Haruhi, who was glaring with the heat of the sun at what must have been a stupidly profound expression on my face.

"What are you smiling for? That wasn't even close! Try again and do it right!"

And so Haruhi gave her instructions like a German gymnastics coach.

It didn't seem to dawn on her that yelling and getting angry don't count as teaching and weren't really making it any easier for me to pick up the pattern. Nonetheless she persisted and I was left to bear the brunt of her overly loud tutorials without much effect.

After half an hour I was at least able to memorise the different riffs in the song to the point where I could keep playing throughout the whole thing.

I was still making mistakes though.

Lots of them.

Haruhi's glare was almost tangible and I had to shy away from her gaze or else it might have drawn blood. She was getting angrier with each failed play-through of the song while the others watched on with looks of increasing concern. Tsuruya might not understand the dire situation we were facing but even she could read the mood to understand this was a bad omen and sought to calm her down.

"Okay, you guys have had a megas long practise session. You should have a break or you'll just get worn out!" and of course she included her trademark chuckle for good measure.

Haruhi wasn't entirely convinced.

"I agree," Koizumi said, massaging his fingertips, "I consider it to be best for all of us to take a short break."

Crossing her arms and plastering a scowl on her face, she reluctantly agreed and stormed out of the room. Although it wasn't perfect the plan still kind of worked. Boy does he come in handy sometimes...It sort of makes me feel bad about mocking his ever smiling face and...

No, on second thought my comments are still justified. But at the least it makes his eccentricities more bearable.

As soon as the irate tantrum-throwing child was out of ear-shot I glanced over at Koizumi and nodded in appreciation.

"Thanks."

"It was no problem. To be honest I was getting a little exhausted myself."

Is watching me being roasted alive by Haruhi's stare really that tiresome? I know it is for me but the spectators should be on the edge of their seats in anticipation for the concept of common sense to reach her in the middle of her tirades. But I guess if the resolution never comes it can get boring.

Koizumi let out a dry chuckle and patted my shoulder.

"I know it's been tough on you, but it seems Miss Suzumiya's mental state has calmed down considerably, even though she may appear angry. Whatever you did last night certainly worked a treat."

Ugh, don't smile like that while saying such things! I don't even want to ask what in the hell you're thinking about but trust me it didn't happen. All that happened was...Well I can't really remember since I passed out before long but I know we didn't do that. But why did she calm down? I don't remember doing anything particularly special...

"Don't sell yourself so short. I'm sure Miss Suzumiya was pleasantly surprised to find you waiting for her at her home. Perhaps the very fact that you were there for her in a time of crisis has settled her down?"

No, she was still pretty damn angry before we started drinking. Maybe having a drinking buddy seemed somehow important for her? I suppose it's better than drinking alone. But not drinking at all is the best if you ask me...

"Hmm, it's a mystery then."

I rolled my eyes at Koizumi and strolled off out of the music room into the wide hallway where Tsuruya was waiting. It was no surprise to see a playful smile on her face.

"Heya Kyon, I hope Haru-nyan wasn't being too rough on you."

I shrugged.

"Eh, I've endured worse. She's just having a temper tantrum. I bet she'll be back to abnormal when she comes back from her break."

Tsuruya giggled at that and leaned back against the wall. "You can read her like a book, huh?"

I suppose...If that book has a few pages missing and a few written in foreign languages.

"You know it's a little strange," she muttered, glancing past me rather than at me, "I know she looked really mad at you before, but I think she's really happy!"

Yeah that scrunched up scowl and the general feeling of malaise I got from meeting her gaze certainly screamed out joy to me too. Indeed she was smiling, it's just her smile was upside down.

"Ha ha ha! That's not what I mean, nyoron! Didn't you feel that vibe? She was pumped up!"

Yeah, for a fight...

She shook her head, her ponytail dancing about behind her, drawing my eyes for a few seconds. After receiving something like an electric shock when the trance ended I wound up looking into Tsuruya's big round eyes again.

"Women are strange creatures Kyon and Haru-nyan's one of the strangest!"

You got that right!

"I think Haruhi is well and truly set on winning this band thing. She's probably just annoyed that nobody else seems to share her enthusiasm."

And suddenly Tsuruya became a psychology professor...However she seemed to be right about one thing. Haruhi's present anger was drawn from the fact that she was the only one excited about any of this. Everyone else is simply going through the motions to ensure the shared prosperity and survival of the human species.

And all those other things, like aliens and time travellers and espers...

I know our Brigade chief was never known for being attentive, but it wouldn't be hard to pick up on the underwhelming atmosphere around her band-mates. We lack that spark that makes the group come alive, that passion for music that is usually the impetus for one to start a band, not a random shot-in-the-dark trial run just for the fun of it.

Haruhi must be experiencing that same feeling you get when you think you've thought of the funniest joke ever and then nobody laughs when you deliver it. No wonder she's a little ticked off. Nonetheless it's a far cry from the blazing fury that not long ago seemed to loom over her like an oppressive black cloud. Just a few more days and we should be completely out of the woods and I can go back to sipping tea in the club-room, gladly participating in all manner of nothing.

I've just got to hold out for a little while longer.

But I guess if she's cooled down then that should mean I can get back in contact with Mio. It's felt like forever but it's only been a day.

Finding an empty spot in the hall I rang her cell. The phone rang, its annoying rumbling wail drilling through to my brain. I counted to five rings but that was after god knows how many. The call disconnected and left me with the sound of silence.

Figuring it's best to try again I re-dialled and waited. At last she answered, just as I feared the worst, speaking in a croaky voice.

"Kyon? This is a surprise."

"Uh, yeah...Are you alright? You sound...Weird?"

"Huh? Oh that! I woke up with a terrible fever this morning, but I'm feeling much better now. Strange though, it just hit out of nowhere." She tried to laugh but ended up coughing instead.

"Are you still gonna be fine for Saturday?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'll be there!" she said forcefully, "whether I'm sick or injured I won't miss it! Who knows, Hokagou Tea-Time might make a record deal if we win!"

I think she's been bitten by whatever bug has manifested itself on Haruhi. But her marked determination only made to cripple my heart. At some point during the contest the need will arise to give us an edge over the competition. In the worst of the worst case scenario, I may very well have to sabotage Mio's performance and step on her dreams...

"You're still going to come watch me play aren't you?" asked Mio in a pleading voice full of fear and pre-prepared disappointment, much like a child begging their deadbeat father to come to the school play.

I forced a laugh but there was no confidence in it at all. "Of course I will. I promised didn't I?"

"So you really promise to come watch me play?" Although we were speaking over the phone I could practically see Mio shooting up straight, sweat gliding down her forehead.

I sighed, "Mio, calm down. I already told you I'll be there. In fact I have a little surprise in store for you on Saturday too."

"H-h-huh?! A s-surprise?! Oh my...I don't...Um..."

"Mio?" I said calmly.

"Yes!"

I rolled my eyes, "Sit down."

"What?! How did you-" she started coughing again, sounding a lot worse than before. She certainly sounded sick. I hope she doesn't push herself too hard and make her condition worse. If she's set upon entering the contest she'll need to rest up until then. Besides they don't need to rehearse when they're already worlds apart from our shabby little Brigade.

"Kyon?" she whispered, the crackle of the speaker tickling my ear. "I think I need to lie down..."

"Yeah, you should get plenty of rest before the contest. Your fever should go down before Saturday as long you take it easy and get lots of rest."

"Yes, doctor." her laugh was bitter-sweet.

"See you on Saturday then. Get well soon."

"Bye..." She hung up.

A fever huh...


	25. Cancelled?

We were supposed to get to bed early so we can meet up at the train station around 9am. Of course I had other plans. It's not like my life is busy in any way or that I have countless other engagements to factor into my day. It's just the simple fact of me being unable to fall asleep.

Many things were swirling around in my head, like an annoying carousel full of screaming children. One such source of concern was Haruhi's unusual behaviour. Even after hearing everyone's spiel about how happy she is on the inside I still had to endure a lengthy tongue lashing that threatened to consign me to deafness at my young age.

There are so many questions revolving around that alone that it pretty much sold out the tickets to the carousel.

The other thing on my mind was Mio. To get a fever so close to the competition is highly suspicious but I know Haruhi well enough to deduce that if she really were involved she would have done a lot worse than give her a fever. For all I know she would have made her have a stroke or something and forget how to play bass, or paralyse her hands or something much more sinister.

The very process of imagining everything worse she could have done only concerned me more. If Mio really did just get a fever from overworking herself, which I sure as hell hope she did regardless of how bad that may sound, then that just brings me back to the question of why is she allegedly calmer now than the night before?

The endless circle of questions lead nowhere and each new train of thought quickly derails upon reaching the point where the tracks just stop completely, ramming into all the other trains that crashed there. And yet even with the mass grave of trains lumped up in the back of my head nothing made any more sense that it did before.

That is why I couldn't sleep.

And because I couldn't sleep I decided to go for a walk completely disregarding the plainly obvious fact that it was well into the night. Wandering around in aimless circles did little to ease my mind but at least made for a better way to kill time rather than counting the spots of mould on the ceiling in my bedroom.

But somewhere between going to the convenience store and returning home my phone rang.

It scared the crap out of me. And fair enough, when do you ever expect a call after midnight? Exactly! But I'm wandering off again so let's just forget about that. You see the only possible caller I could think of at such a ridiculous time was Haruhi, most likely to give me a stern lecture on how to better apply myself before the competition.

I was pleasantly surprised to find the caller-id was unknown. A string of numbers with no meaning which disproved my theory and calmed my beating-slightly-faster-than-usual heart.

"Hello?"

"Oh...Um...Forgive me for calling so late, I hope I didn't wake you!" a tiny voice replied in a frenzy. Her stop and start speech was made all the more difficult to understand as she tried to fit whole sentences into the span of a single second.

Here we go...

"No, it's fine."

"Good! Forgive my rudeness for interrupting you."

Interrupting nothing doesn't really count as rudeness. Rather I should thank you for giving me something to do.

"I'm sorry!"

"Alright enough with the apologies. Who are you and why are you calling me?"

My abrupt interrogation frightened the young girl on the other end and forced a string of strange gasps and yelps as she struggled to remember whatever it was she wanted to say.

"Sorry...It's just...I was wondering if I could ask you something."

"You just did, but go right ahead."

"Yes! You see, it's about Mio-sempai."

She stopped talking for a moment, most likely expecting a response but there wasn't really much to say when she hadn't told me anything yet.

"Uh...So you're one of Mio's friends then? How did you get my number?"

"I'm sorry. Ritsu-sempai gave me your number and I really didn't want to use it because I knew it would just cause trouble but I couldn't help myself and so I had to ring you now to-"

"It's alright I get it. Thanks for not prank calling me, but how about you tell me what you wanted before?"

"Ah! Of course!" she shouted, so blatantly nervous.

"What I wanted to ask you was...What do you think of Mio?"

This again? How many people are gonna ask me this damn question? And furthermore, how many times am I going to be asked until I can actually think up an answer?

"She's a good friend, even though I've only really known her for a week. But why do you want to know anyway? Has she been rambling about me again?"

"Well..." the girl fumbled around for the answer. After a while she sighed and asked, "Where are you right now?"

The question hit me by surprise and was swallowed down with a bitter after-taste of dread. Nothing good ever comes out of people asking to meet up in private, Hell I almost died the last time I was asked to meet a girl alone after school.

Reasonably, I was hesitant to respond, but given the fact the person at the other end was probably more frightened than me it seemed safe to answer.

"Not very close, why?"

"Um...Mio's sick."

"I know."

"Yeah, you would but...It's gotten worse! I'm calling from the hospital."

I ran back home to gather my things.

* * *

It was a pure stroke of luck that the last train from the station was running late. By all rights I should have missed it fifteen minutes ago however I was fortunate enough to find the train arrive on the platform when I arrived around 12:30, panting and sweating like an overworked hound.

No-one got on at my stop, but a large group got off there, most likely the cause of the train running late. It must have been another show or concert or something. Whatever it was, it proved a lucky break.

I hauled my suit case and the gig bag onto the near abandoned train and collapsed into the nearest free seat. The gig bag was brand new, so was the bass guitar inside it. Tsuruya had kindly offered to give us free instruments to borrow for the concert considering they were just going to collect dust in the storage room if we didn't. That rehearsal session at Tsuruya's place was the first time I'd played a right handed bass and sure enough adjusting to what I should have been playing from the very beginning took some time, but after the long hours of gruelling practice I had pretty much mastered it.

Mastered in the sense that I could play it normally, not that I'm a virtuoso or something...

Even with the train empty it still took a while to reach Toyosato and when it did I threw myself off the train and made for an awkward lumbering speed walk through the city at night, asking whichever stray passers-by I could find for directions to the hospital.

I arrived pretty late, long after visiting hours, I'm sure. But I don't care.

The receptionist looked half-asleep when I knocked on the counter to wake her up. She opened her eyes with a start and let out a tiny wail before setting her gaze on me and offering a nervous smile.

"Sorry about that. How may I help you?"

"I'm here to visit Mio Akiyama."

"Miss Akiyama...She's currently resting and I'm afraid visiting hours are over sir."

I scowled at her and backed away for a second while rethinking my strategy. "Look, this is really important. I have to see her!"

"You can come visit her in the morning-"

"It's already morning!" I barked.

"Yes, but I mean when the sun comes up. Visiting hours begin around 7:00am. You can stop by then and see your friend."

"I need to see her now!"

"She's fine, there's nothing to worry about. According to what the doctors said she's just over-exerted herself and fainted. She's only being kept overnight as a precaution."

Her face was set in stone. There was no swaying this woman. I should have just snuck right past while she was spaced out...

"Excuse me; I'm here to visit Miss Akiyama."

"Ah, of course!"

"Hey!"

I spun on my heels and almost head-butted the girl standing behind me who had effortlessly gained permission to visit Mio. I was so angry I very well could have hit her, but then I recognised her kind smile and impeccably beautiful blonde hair and choked back the rage.

"Mugi?"

"Hello." She waved with one hand while the other held her purse. She seemed not the least bit surprised to meet in a hospital waiting room several cities away in the dead of night, but I was definitely stunned to see her. I assumed she would already be here. I told her so and she let out a soft giggle.

"I had to catch a train here as well." she explained.

The woman at the counter coughed to get our attention and directed us to Mio's room. Outside the door stood a silent vigil of tired and anxious looking high school girls.

Yui noticed me first and seemed to power up because of it. The lifeless look in her eyes faded out in the midst of her excitement. She skipped up alongside me and grabbed my hand, squeezing it so hard it was hurting.

"Thank god you're here!" she cried, "Only you can save her!"

My eyes widened in shock.

"Yui-sempai don't scare him like that!" scolded the tiniest girl in the group.

Wait a minute...Did I just...Oh great I fell for a trap laid by Yui! That's almost as bad as getting into a car accident in a parking lot. It shouldn't even be possible! But at least the littlest of the group talked some sense into her. Recognising her voice from earlier and the fact she addressed Yui as her sempai as well, I guess she was the one who called me.

"I'm sorry."

And she apologised for no reason. Yep, it's definitely her.

I waved aside her concerns and stared at the door behind them. It was Mio's room. It was only then that memories flooded back of my time in hospital after apparently falling down some stairs. I woke up alone and confused, only to find our trusty SOS Brigade had been camping around me in my comatose state. I'm sure Mio would feel that same flood of relief to find her band mates rallying around her while she's feeling ill.

But that won't work as well when everyone is standing outside...

I leaned towards the youngest of them and asked her, "Why are you standing outside? Is she asleep?"

The girl shook her head, her near floor length pig-tails swaying with the momentum. "No, Ritsu-sempai asked to be alone with Mio-sempai, so we decided to give her some space."

I frowned.

"She's not up to anything bad is she?"

The girl laughed nervously. "I hope not..."

Her lack of conviction frightened me, but I guess it can't be helped. I'll just take a ticket and wait my turn. But in the mean-time...

"By the way, I'm-"

"You're Kyon-sempai aren't you?" the tiny girl interrupted. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Azusa Nakano, pleased to meet you." She bowed, throwing her pig-tails forward like oddly extravagant tassels.

"Yeah..." I forced myself to bow, but honestly the gesture was a bit much. I don't know why this Azusa girl has to be so formal and polite; it's too much to deal with. Usually I'm around a girl who doesn't even know the meaning of the word polite so to find myself faced with the other extreme so suddenly is quite disconcerting.

To be entirely truthful being around the rest of the girls from Mio's band had me a little on edge. Our past meetings had not been on the best terms. Mugi had plenty of reason to hate me for the rest of her life, but out of some miracle she absolved me of sin and Yui's last sight of me was when I was taken away by police for some unknown reason. Azusa would have heard of me being arrested as well, or perhaps she was left out of the loop with good reason. Either way she wouldn't trust me just yet. Regardless of whatever hype Mio seems to have spread about me I'm pretty sure I've garnered a bad reputation around Sakuragaoka high school.

Even if everything that had happened was an accident I couldn't shake the feeling that I was some sort of villain and my very presence around these girls felt wrong.

"Are you feeling ok?" Yui asked quietly, an act surprising in itself. "You look a little...I know! You're hungry aren't you?"

I didn't know people got hunger pains at 2 in the morning...As usual, I got the impression there was something wrong with Yui. I gently waved aside her concerns and leaned heavily against the wall.

It was then that the door clicked and opened with a loud groan. Ritsu seemed truly disheartened as she left the room and upon seeing me I swear there was a hint of defeat in her expression. She stared right through me and stumbled past, not out of drowsiness or exhaustion, but something else I couldn't quite figure out.

It could wait though. There were more important matters at hand.

I caught the door as it swung inwards and made my way into the tiny sterile white room. Amidst the blinding white was a black smudge, a draping curtain of long black hair. Mio looked worn out, with black rings under her eyes and a bright red face. She certainly had a fever. Dazedly she tried to sit up, but fell back down in her bed, staring at the roof as she was too weak to turn her head towards me.

"Mio..."

"Kyon? Is that you?"

Before I knew it I had sat down and grabbed her hand. "Yeah it's me. What on earth happened?"

Mio's head rolled to the side and she offered a frail smile. "I disobeyed doctors' orders...And practised too hard...I'm sorry."

"Are you crazy?!" I roared, taken aback at my own outburst. Mio's eyes widened like a lost little lamb but the words died in her throat. No doubt she was going to apologise, but realised it would have been pointless.

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard! Saturday is the big day, your chance to reach out and grab a hold of your dream! You can't waste your chance when you're finally so close!"

Mio fell silent and averted her gaze. Her expression, once filled with joy upon seeing me had now crumbled into a frown. I don't know why I was getting so angry, especially when everything I said went against the task at hand. I should be glad that Mio is too sick to play, that I don't have to sabotage their performance to give our crappy Brigade a chance at victory. This is the best possible outcome isn't it? Win-win.

So why am I pissed off all of a sudden?

I bowed my head and let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. It's not your fault."

She smiled weakly, "Its ok...I understand. You were really excited to see me play on Saturday. I was too. I wanted to show what we can really do...It would have been fun..."

No, that's not it.

That's not it at all.

Hell, I don't even know!

I don't know what came over me exactly, but it was around that time that I shot up out of the seat, snatched up Mio's hands and stared her down like a drill sergeant about to talk down to a private. Mio's cheeks reddened visibly from the proximity of my face from hers, as did mine. And so, having effectively invaded her personal space, breathing hard against her rosy cheeks in the manner of some horror movie monster, I said my piece.

"Mio, I promised you I would see you play on Saturday. I'm holding up my end of the bargain so you better play your part too! You're going to rest up and get better by tomorrow! Then you're going to stand up on that stage and not only blow me away, but rock the socks off of every single person in the crowd!"

…

Mio wasn't the only one totally surprised.

The out of body experience ended there and so I calmly and nonchalantly returned to the seat beside her bed and pretended I had never yelled in the face of someone recovering in hospital.

Mio hadn't uttered a word after that, apparently contemplating my words or otherwise planning her escape. After a painful silence she began to chuckle, soon evolving into boisterous laughter. Caught up in the heat of the moment I quickly joined her, the commotion prompting the girls outside to rush in and check up on us.

The subdued young beauty smiled at the gathering of close friends and shared a genuine smile that was almost blinding.

"Thank you, everyone. I made promises with all of you...And the least I can do is stay true to my word. I _will_ get better and then we can take the world by storm!" She wrestled her arm out from under the blanket and thrust her fist up in the air with a gleaming grin on her face.

"Budokan or bust!"

I wish I could share their enthusiasm, but after contemplating everything I'd just said and done I realised the grave mistake I had made. No matter how much of a relief it was to see Mio's smiling face again, it only served as another painful reminder of the terrible fate to be impinged upon her.

I should have just let her lie there, stay sick and have her friends forfeit the contest. But no, I had to go and be a protagonist and do something stupid like cheer her up and spur her on. Why on Earth am I doing all of this anyway? I didn't even know Mio before last week and yet I'm putting everything in the balance to protect her.

Perhaps I need to check into the hospital myself...


	26. On The Road Again

Mio fell asleep shortly after her stirring little speech. As much as I would have liked I didn't have the time to be sticking around the hospital even though Mugi had apparently cleared it with the nurses to do so. I gave the girls of Houkago Tea-Time my best wishes for the contest and bid them farewell, taking a taxi to the train station where I curled up on a bench and went to sleep.

I didn't get so much as a wink until my phone rang.

Seriously what is wrong with everyone tonight? Is everyone in this country nocturnal?!

I sat up and groaned, reading that accursed moniker that flashed up on the screen, flickering like a warning beacon. As much as I wished to ignore it and go to sleep I did the worst possible thing (for me at least) and answered.

"Hello?"

"Kyon! Where are you?!"

"At a train station."

"What?!" Haruhi's alarmed cry almost broke the speakers but it certainly pierced my eardrum. I winced from the sonic assault and waited for the ringing in my ears to stop. "Why are you at the train station now?! Is your clock broken? You're 6 hours early!"

"Yeah, well I didn't want to pay for everyone's lunches tomorrow so I decided to get a head start."

"Are you retarded? I don't mean to be rude, but seriously, are you?"

Well aren't you a little bit of sugar and spice and everything nice.

"Dammit I've been knocking on your window for ages! I wanted to talk to you! You ruined everything!"

Hasn't it dawned on you that we're talking right now?

"Oh shut up!"

I could hear rustling in the background on Haruhi's end. Probably her scurrying through the bushes outside our house. I rolled my eyes and feigned ignorance while listening to her make her get-away from my bedroom window.

"Are you finished playing spies or should I go get myself a drink?"

"Give it a rest will you!" Haruhi snapped. "Honestly are you ever home? Well whatever I just wanted to tell you something."

This call has lasted three minutes now and you still haven't gotten to the point yet. You do realise this costs money don't you?

Haruhi made a sound like a lion about to pounce on its prey but it soon died off into a grumbling curse. "_Anyway_, I want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done these last few days. I know it hasn't been easy and I've put a lot of pressure on you, but you're doing the best you can and I can't ask for anything more."

An after-hours pep talk? I definitely didn't see that one coming. Don't tell me she's drunk again? I listened on in silence, anticipating a hiccup somewhere in the middle of her speech.

"It's been tough on all of us," she explained morosely, "but just think about it! Tomorrow we'll be in Tokyo and then we'll be up on that stage! The SOS Brigade will be famous across the world!"

"Hmmm."

"Oh for God's sake Kyon why aren't you more excited?!" I could imagine her standing there with her hands on her hips, face scrunched up in a scowl. Perhaps after seeing it so many times it had become engraved in my retinas. But I suppose I should say something before she starts wagging her finger like a doting parent.

"I am excited, it's just I'm also exhausted and was rather hoping to catch some sleep before the train arrives in the morning."

Haruhi was quiet for a moment before making some kind of barking sound. Before I could even question what on Earth she was trying to do she started singing a lullaby. The speakers made her voice crackle like flames but nonetheless she maintained a smooth, calming timbre as she sang the song. After a few lines she had to stop and laugh and I myself was thankful she wasn't there to see me as I was blushing a storm.

"W-What the..."

"Good night Kyon! See you tomorrow!"

"Huh?"

'Click.'

She hung up.

…

I'm too tired to question any of that. I'm going to sleep.

* * *

"-an idiot! I can't believe he's still asleep!"

"..."

"Is he alright?"

"Oh he's fine! And he better have packed his wallet 'cos lunch is still on him!"

Okay even in my semi-awakened lucid state I could tell those voices apart from the rest of the rumbling chatter around the station. Not only that, I was certain they were talking about me. I pried one eye open and spotted the rest of the SOS Brigade standing over me, observing with the idle curiosity of parents at a petting zoo.

"Good morning!" Miss Asahina chirped.

"..." said Nagato whilst juggling (Read as 'standing perfectly still')

Koizumi offered me a hand which I refused, sitting up perfectly fine on my own. Even after being rejected he maintained his easy-going movie-star smile and chuckled, "Well hello there, fancy meeting you here. I must say I was quite surprised when Miss Suzumiya told me this morning."

Yeah...I guess I haven't been getting enough sleep lately so that plan backfired completely.

Haruhi had a beaming smile on her face, one that boasted terrible things to come, but only for me.

"Well Kyon, your plan didn't work after all. For not only missing our assigned train but also leaving us no choice but to get off and wake you up, you are hereby decreed as our servant for the rest of the trip to Tokyo!"

Figures...Should have seen that one coming a mile away. It's fair to say though, I was thoroughly overjoyed. Oh wait that's not how you spell it. I think it's spelled p-i-s-s-e-d. Yeah that's about right!

Haruhi zipped open one of her bags and fished out a scrap of red cloth which she delicately unfolded and handed over. Upon closer inspection it was yet another one of her armbands. Which, while I'm on the subject, might as well ask...How many of these does she have?!

Knowing full well that she won't leave me alone until I put it on, I slid the band over my arm and pinned it to my shirt. Only then did I realise what title I was given.

'Roadie.'

"Now carry my bag onto the train, slave!" Haruhi commanded. Apparently I'm a slave now too. Isn't that fantastic.

While gathering everyone's bags I noticed not one of them was carrying their instruments with them. It made my gig bag feel kind of lonely. I doubt they had all coincidentally forgotten their instruments but I asked anyway.

"Ha ha ha! We got them freighted to Tokyo thanks to Tsuruya's family!" declared our Brigade leader proudly, chest puffed out as if it were some personal victory of hers to not have to trundle along a guitar case on the train. Oh well I guess it's good. Chances are I would have had to carry the damn thing anyway.

Fortunately the next train arrived before anyone got hungry so I was spared the job of paying for any lunch, but of course it's only delaying the inevitable. At some point today I'll be buying everyone lunch or dinner.

When we boarded the train we found free seats in the corner and hurriedly claimed them. Haruhi and Koizumi sat next to Mikuru who was sitting across from me who was next to Nagato. Yeah work that one out. Feel free to take notes and draw a diagram. The main reason only Nagato was sitting next to me was solely because she was the only one who could fit into the remaining space after cramming in everyone's luggage. The bags had successfully cut off our route of escape leaving the tiny doll-like frame of Nagato pressed up against me. I myself was pressed so hard against the wall I was starting to melt into it.

Although to passers-by we probably looked like a couple the reality was we were uncomfortably cramped and sandwiched together under the threat of being crushed by Haruhi's luggage, which was disproportionately sized for a simple few days in Tokyo.

Speaking of Haruhi, she seemed a little ticked off about something, intermittently glaring at me every now and then, probably angry that her precious armband was currently ground against the wall of the train. Maybe she's afraid I might rub off the ink from her magic marker and free myself of the tile of roadie for the trip.

Well whatever, it's not really important. That sour little face of hers vanishes quickly enough, the excitement of our trip and the ever closer competition completely and utterly eclipsing any hints of jealousy and anger she still harbours.

I glanced down at Nagato who, not surprisingly, had her nose buried in a book so thick it could very well be a murder weapon from a crime drama. Being so close to her I felt strangely compelled to read over her shoulder, unaware if it would bother her, but in all the time I've known Nagato nothing has seemed to bother her.

The book had something to do with an alien invasion, an oddly ironic subject if you ask me. The protagonist was trapped inside some sort of high tech facility with a girl who was his childhood friend. Things seemed grim, especially after being chased by some sort of monstrous creature which was most likely the alien. To be honest the story was pretty interesting even if I had only just started reading in the latter half of the book. Nagato read amazingly fast, flipping pages before I had even finished a bare few paragraphs. Skimming for the main points became the objective of the game after a while after accepting that I wouldn't be able to read at a leisurely pace unless I snatched it off of her, which would just be plain mean.

Then, suddenly her reading pace slowed and the page remained unturned after a full three minutes. Taking my time, squinting at the tiny font, I soon lost the ability to breathe and became flushed red in the face.

It turned out, that after escaping from the monster the two main characters decided to...Express their affection toward each other. What started off with a corny kiss scene (which was bad enough already) gradually became more steamy until I could no longer read it without feeling ashamed.

That isn't the kind of book people should read together, especially in public.

Perhaps noticing my erratic heartbeat through her shoulder, Nagato glanced up at me inquisitively. Despite being straight faced as usual there was a longing in her eyes that made my blood run cold. My heart stopped but I was too afraid to count the missing beats, every inch of my brain devoted to decoding that cryptic stare of hers.

Her lips parted almost imperceptibly and now more than ever I wanted to run away, but being well and truly trapped, had no other option but to bear the brunt of the embarrassment.

"How can one 'scream in ecstasy'?"

…

Oh no she didn't...

I don't even know how to answer that regardless of whether or not I actually should.

Swallowing the pain and embarrassment I patted Nagato's head and forced a smile, "I don't think you're ready for that kind of stuff just yet..."

Nagato bowed her head, vaguely disappointed having not found her answer but fortunately gave up on the subject and returned to reading.

Looking across to Haruhi she seemed to be quietly seething with steam rising from her ears.

"What?"

"Kyon what on Earth are you teaching our innocent little Yuki?! That's sick!"

"But she's the one who asked-"

"That kind of talk is totally inappropriate for a young lady!"

"I didn't-"

"You should know better, Kyon!"

"Can I finish-"

"Honestly, I didn't know you were one of 'those kinds of guys'..."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Glancing over to her two companions, Koizumi was smiling awkwardly appearing as if he wanted to laugh but knew he shouldn't while Miss Asahina was on the verge of tears with a betrayed look in her eyes. Please, don't look at me like that, it hurts a lot, it really does...

Nagato continued reading as if nothing had ever happened to disturb the atmosphere on the train. Unfortunately I could not afford such luxury and was subjected to an interrogation by the feisty and fearless leader of the SOS Brigade; the ever irritating Haruhi Suzumiya.

It's less fun than it sounds.

It doesn't even sound fun to begin with.

Needless to say the rest of the train ride was a little awkward.


	27. Heartbreak Hotel

"Oh my god it's Tokyo! We're finally here! Wow! Ha ha ha! Kyon look at that! Look! I said look! Hey! Oh forget it... No wait! Look at that! Kyon! Kyon! Wake up dammit!"

I'm sure you can guess who was acting like a five year old on a sugar high, bouncing in her seat so frantically I could feel the vibrations through the floor. And of course it goes without saying to confirm that, no, it was not a five year old.

Add on another ten years and you're getting warmer.

If you guessed a god you are technically right.

You see Haruhi had been loud for most of the trip, especially after Nagato's surprise Q&A. But even after saying her piece and schooling me on something I cannot recall as I was understandably not paying attention in the slightest, she still managed to break the sound barrier once we arrived in Tokyo.

As if some unseen sensor went off inside of her, the second we passed over the border into the capital Haruhi leapt up from her seat, kicking Miss Asahina and slapping Koizumi both by accident. A squeal the likes of which I had never heard before drowned out everyone in the entire cabin and unfortunately only served as the beginning of a downward spiral of excessive excitement. Several minutes of gruelling punishment later and the train stopped at our station.

It took some time to get off, mostly because me and Nagato were trapped behind the wall of luggage at which point I finally gave in to temptation and asked the question which had been burning in my mind for most of the trip.

"Hey Haruhi, what's with all the bags? I thought you said Tsuruya was freighting all our instruments?"

Haruhi didn't even look my way, pre-occupied with dragging away her ungainly portion of bags and cases. "Of course they are, but that's not all we'll need for the competition right?"

I stared at her and her smug Koizumi-esque smile.

It's a battle of the bands not a talent show. We aren't putting on a circus act or a magic show!

"Think about it." she snapped, declaring her challenge.

I shrugged and helped move our bags and get off I was starting to feel guilty for stalling the train.

"Wow! It's so crowded! There are so many people here! Hey Kyon, look at the buildings, they're so huge! This is amazing isn't it?"

It was Miss Asahina's turn to fawn over Tokyo it seemed. Joining in with Haruhi's ceaseless and entirely unwanted commentary on every little thing we passed I was now subject to the combined might of the most ecstatic girls in the entire city. Both clung to my sleeves with one hand while pointing aimlessly with the other. As much as I would erstwhile enjoy being sandwiched between two cute girls I was thoroughly exhausted and was seriously about to pass out.

I guess it was fortunate that through the laws of physics the girls kept me standing the entire time. You see Haruhi was pulling my arm in an attempt to drag me over to some store selling souvenirs while Miss Asahina was pulling on my other arm for something else in the opposite direction. Due to their equal and opposite actions cancelling each other out I was left suspended in the middle of them despite the fact my knees had turned to jelly shortly after leaving the station. Isn't science amazing?

Anyway the whole time Nagato had not uttered a single word, content to stare blankly at the new world around her. This is probably the furthest she has ever travelled in a long time. For her entire life Nagato had been tasked with staying put and observing Haruhi so surely this trip would be an eye-opener for her. Then again she is an alien. She's probably seen many things more mind-blowing than a big city. Either way there was a kind of electric buzz about her that gave the impression of sparked interest.

Koizumi was having fun playing tour guide, explaining the history behind anything and everything Haruhi pointed out, delighted to be able to rant regardless of whether anyone was paying attention to him or not, which I'm fairly certain was the case.

We ended up catching a taxi to the hotel since there was no way in hell I could carry Haruhi's luggage when I couldn't even manage to carry myself. Leaning against a street pole I tried to stretch my legs but they had long since gone numb and wouldn't respond to my orders.

Thankfully the taxi arrived quickly and we were whisked away to our hotel where the staff were more than happy to carry our bags.

I pressed the button for the elevator only to be slapped on the wrist like a disobedient child.

"No!" snapped Haruhi, wagging her finger. "We're taking the stairs! It's a race to the top!"

The elevator door opened and I stepped in. Haruhi jumped in the path of the doors as they were about to close and blocked it off.

"Hey! I said we're taking the stairs!"

"How about I race you up the stairs? See if you can beat the elevator."

Haruhi glared at me for a moment and then bolted up the stairs, taking four or five at a time while her voice trailed along behind her, echoing, "You're on!"

I can't believe she took the bait, but at the very least it means I can ride the elevator in peace.

It's not a shock to say I won the 'race', waiting on the landing for thirty or forty seconds before Haruhi arrived trying to give off an air of calm despite sweating and panting.

"You cheated!" she huffed.

How?

"Despicable! How can you cheat against your Brigade Chief like that?"

I got the feeling that was a loaded question for some reason and bit my tongue. Haruhi apparently took my silence as an admission of fault and crossed her arms in frustration.

"For that, you have to buy me dinner!"

"What?"

"No excuses!"

No excuse needed to bleed me dry it seems...Damn! I'm not Tsuruya; I only have so much money to spare. But I guess my suffering doesn't factor into Haruhi's plans, as long as she profits somehow then it's worth doing.

But it's not all bad.

She said 'dinner' which is hours away.

Plenty of time to catch up on sleep first!

* * *

Turns out that sleep wasn't an option, but at the very least I was granted the honour of lying down on a comfortable bed for a few hours. You'd think that is a decent deal, but you would be wrong after noticing the very obvious fact that someone was watching me the entire time.

We drew lots earlier to determine the room arrangements. There were three rooms so two rooms would have two people and the third would have the last room to themselves. After fishing out some toothpicks from her apparently bottomless skirt pocket Haruhi proudly displayed them to us as if they were some treasured artefact of her ancestor's.

We just picked out a toothpick and got it done and over with.

Haruhi glared at her blue tipped toothpick and glanced over at the rest of us, spotting Koizumi's corresponding blue stick. She then scowled at the rest of us as if we had just spat in her hair. Miss Asahina and I both had red tipped sticks and Nagato was left with the sole unmarked one. She glanced over in my direction for the briefest of moments before picking up her bag and shuffling off to the room at the end of the hall.

"Grr, remember Kyon! You're paying for dinner tonight!"

"I won't." I grumbled, scratching my head and threw myself into our room, collapsing on the double bed inside the- wait what?! Double beds?!

I stared at Haruhi suspiciously and then shot a swift glance down Miss Asahina's way. Damn you temptation! Stay your hand for just one night please?!

When she stepped into our room Miss Asahina let out a high pitched squeal and tried to leap out of harm's way, although she ended up bashing her head on the door frame and tripping over her bags, landing in a heap on the floor.

Koizumi swooped down on her and helped her up before I could even lift my head from the pillow.

"W-w-what the...A d-d-double bed?! That's-"

"Don't worry, the only person here you have to be careful around is Haruhi. I'll keep you safe."

Although I said it with the intention of easing her mind the whole thing came out in an unmistakably creepy way and ended up making me sound like a predator. If I wasn't exhausted I would have kicked myself but had to suffice with biting my tongue.

Still, with the lots drawn she had no choice but to drift on in like a ghost and settle on the other side of the bed, staring awkwardly with fixed glances between me and most of the furniture in the room.

I told her I was going to catch some sleep and that she should go and talk with Koizumi or something and then I closed my eyes.

But that feeling like I was being watched started to itch after a couple of minutes.

She was still there.

Definitely still there...

"You know that I know you're still here right?"

A startled whimper escaped her. "Ah, I um...I just...Sorry!"

"It's okay; it's been a while since we've been together."

"Wha-what do you mean?!"

"Not in a weird way! You can calm down. I just meant that we haven't had much time to really hang out or talk the last couple of weeks. I have barely been to the club room and when we're practising for the competition I'm always lagging so far behind I don't get a break with the rest of you...I think this is the first time I've spoken to you for almost a whole week!"

Asahina smiled though it wasn't her usual sunshine smile that could melt even the iciest of hearts. It was a more forced expression, like Koizumi's now infamous salesman pitch smile; one that kept up appearances without betraying the lingering doubts toiling beneath the facade.

"It feels like forever, doesn't it?"

Yeah, it does...Its odd how little contact I've had with the SOS Brigade since this whole band thing started. Ever since meeting Mio in that music store my absences have been more frequent. No wonder Haruhi was worried. I'm not Freud but even I can understand that someone so emotionally invested into something would feel unusually strongly if something were to threaten it. Having put so much spirit into the Brigade I can see why Haruhi would adopt abandonment issues when I started skipping our meetings. Perhaps she also realised she was over-reacting and that's why she's calmer as of late.

Or maybe I'm being too optimistic?

In any case all I have to do is give my all in this competition.

"-Kyon"

"Huh?"

I turned to Miss Asahina who looked as if I had lapsed into a coma before her very eyes. She took a relieved breath after confirming I was still alive and sank back into the mattress.

"Sorry, my mind was a mile away...What did you say?"

She shook her head, "It's nothing. But I know how you feel. I haven't been able to get this competition out of my head at all."

That's for sure. It's the most normal thing we've done as a club in a long time as long as you ignore the fact that we aren't actually a music club.

"I guess...But I still miss our usual club activities."

You mean making tea and wearing (fabulous) costumes?

She nodded. "It feels so far away now...Almost like we're a totally different club."

"Well we haven't had to travel through time for a while now. I guess that's for the best though."

"Hmm..." Miss Asahina wore a bitter frown. I asked her what was wrong and after a moment of contemplation she whispered something I had to strain to hear.

"I like travelling in time..."

Isn't that an obvious sentiment coming from a time traveller?

"No, I mean...With each mission there's a little less classified information to worry about. I can speak more freely. I don't like lying to people or keeping secrets. I want to be honest with my friends...With you..."

I raised my head a little and fixed my gaze on the forlorn Miss Asahina.

"Why do you need to keep information from me after all that's happened anyway? I already know all about Haruhi and you and Nagato and Koizumi. What harm is there in telling me about everything else?"

Asahina bowed her head, "That's classified. But I will say this. Sometimes..." she hesitated to finish her sentence and trailed off as she met my gaze. Her eyes revealed a pain that made me want to wince, but to do so was impossible under the weight of that stare. "Sometimes...The future is too painful to think about...It's best to live in ignorance while you still can..."

Those words sent chills through my body. Those disturbing thoughts summoned countless questions I knew I could not and should not ask. Instead I rolled onto my side to face away from Asahina and pretended to fall asleep.

Despite this, Asahina remained sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me with those forlorn Bambi eyes.

Neither of us spoke for a dreadfully long time. Neither of us moved either. In fact I doubt either of us would have for the rest of the night, had Haruhi not come to assail the door like the big bad wolf announcing it time for dinner.


	28. Backstage Rider

I wasn't hungry that night, for several reasons. Miss Asahina's unsettling little speech still had me on edge. No-one could possibly ignore something like that. Despite being classified information, she had painted a clear enough picture of the future; an all black canvas. She definitely said the future is painful, I'm certain I didn't mishear that. But how far into the future is this disaster? Does that mean our fate has already been predetermined no matter how hard we try in this competition?!

Regardless of how hard I wracked my brain around it I just couldn't figure it out.

The other reason I wasn't hungry was a much simpler one.

Hotel food is really expensive...

Since I apparently cheated in our race to our room earlier Haruhi demanded I pay for dinner for the entire band. At the very least if I didn't eat it would spare me about 2000 yen. But considering the fact this is a punishment handed down by Haruhi she would be quite likely to order something ridiculously expensive, chewing into the money I would have likewise saved had I not eaten. Not only that, Nagato's voracious appetite may set me back even more.

It's safe to say I'm screwed financially no matter what I do...

I decided to leave to the restaurant downstairs early ahead of Miss Asahina, unable to stand the awkwardness that had grown between us.

The place was quite busy, but everything is busy in Tokyo I suppose. It would be strange if it wasn't.

I waded through a small crowd fussing over their table arrangements on my way to the booths on the far wall. Finding a free spot I sat down and perused the menu in the absence of anything else to preoccupy my disturbed mind.

I soon lost myself in the world of overpriced food, somewhat forgetting Miss Asahina's warning. It wasn't too long before I heard the thunder of footsteps approaching my table. I glanced over the top of the menu at a rather stylishly dressed Haruhi. A thin black cocktail dress hugged her fine figure but left little to the imagination with its low cut collar revealing what existed of her comely cleavage. Her long legs stretched on into a pair of platform heels just high enough to earn their name. She pouted her ruby painted lips and crossed her arms immediately upon her arrival.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Oh my god are you really that stupid?! How do I look?!"

"Aren't you a little over-dressed? I know this place is pricey but it's not that fancy."

Haruhi scowled at me and slid into the seat across from me with an expression suggesting she was looking upon road kill, "Humph! I'll take that as a compliment." She looked pretty down about the whole thing, perhaps because I denied her the pride of having spent the last few hours getting ready for this dinner.

"Oh my, Miss Suzumiya, I must say you do look lovely!" Koizumi exclaimed as he arrived at our booth. He was dressed in a formal yet functionally casual clean crisp shirt and pants which ruined my image of him turning up in a full tuxedo.

Haruhi perked up at his arrival and pointed emphatically at the esper boy, "See, see? That's how you're supposed to do it! Thank you Koizumi." She ended her weird little lecture with a bow and shuffled over so he could sit down, but he ended up sliding along next to me instead.

"..."

Nagato arrived shortly afterward in a dark blue dress with a frilled skirt and black leggings. A black vest hung over her narrow shoulders and tapered out into a forked coat-tail. It was a shock to see her in something other than a school uniform and only raised the question of where the outfit came from. Haruhi eyed her like a lusty businessman and grinned seeming pretty satisfied with herself.

"Aha! It looks great on you Yuki!"

So you're playing dress-up with Nagato now?

"Just this once! Poor Yuki doesn't have much of a wardrobe so I thought I'd doll her up a bit!"

Not much of a wardrobe? As far as I know Nagato has the same uniform she's been wearing for the last three years and possibly some spares, but that's about it. That's not limited, that's just about non-existent!

Still it suited her really well. I think my cheeks are heating up.

Nagato looked to me and I offered a smile, "You look very nice Nagato."

Haruhi picked up on the fact I complimented her little pet and not her and it most definitely won't surprise you that she started fuming. Fortunately she ran out of steam real quick on account of her rumbling stomach and was left giggling like a mindless child about it until Miss Asahina arrived.

Considering the other girls I almost expected her to turn up in a full evening gown but she simply wore a close fitting red dress which clung to her curvaceous form to the point she looked like a fashion model from a magazine.

Unfortunately, or perhaps more fortunately the girls sat across from us guys making it less suspicious of me to get a closer look at them. I wonder why they put so much effort into such an inauspicious occasion but honestly I'm not complaining.

"So...What do you guys want?" I asked tentatively, hoping that putting them on the spot would make them hastily choose something like one of the specials or one of the bargain meals. It ended up failing and everyone took their time browsing the menu, especially Nagato who took a full fifteen minutes to decide.

I alone went up to the counter to order. As I turned around another throng of people had begun to clog up much of the room so I had to navigate the perimeter of the restaurant and almost walk a full lap of the place to get back to our seat.

Along the way I had to pass near the entrance, spotting a group of young girls as they strolled in. I took about five paces before doing a double take.

It was the girls of the light music club, bar Mio however.

Yui who was nose-deep in the menu spotted me in the periphery of her vision and started waving and shouting like a drunken fan at a baseball game, rousing not only my attention but just about every patron of the entire room.

"Kyon! Hey! Kyon! It's me! Yui! Hello!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and waited for her to skip up to me, stopping so abruptly I was sure she was going to fall, but instead just made her hair bounce around fervently. She hummed some sort of tune and giggled, a message I don't quite understand but took in good favour regardless.

"Hi Yui...What are you doing here?"

Yui looked genuinely confused by my question and looked around uncertainly as if desiring one of the patrons to help her. After a while she stared blankly at me and murmured, "To eat..."

I felt some brain cells die.

"No, I mean why are you here at this restaurant?" I reiterated hoping she would understand this time.

"Oh, we're staying here for the competition! We're on the third floor, it's so high up! Ha ha ha!"

We're on the third floor...Does that mean-

"You stalked us all the way to Tokyo?!"

I glared at Ritsu who bounded up beside her strange friend. She offered a beaming smile, but after yelling that last thing out and garnering stares from the other guests I was already angry at her presence.

"Hello Ritsu..."

"Hello!" she cheered in English. "How are you? Fine? Wonderful!" Her English wasn't the best but I can't really talk when it's one of my worst subjects. Her words were disjointed and for no apparent reason overly loud. But shouting her faulty English didn't make it any difference.

"Ritsu-sempai stop it! Behave yourself!"

Strangely enough the motherly tone came from the youngest of the group, the junior member, Azusa whom I met at the hospital the night before. She bowed to me a shared a thin smile. "Are you staying here too Kyon-sempai?"

"Uh yeah..." I stammered, scratching the back of my head. "I'm here with a few friends and-"

"Hey! Kyon, what's taking so long?! You better not have messed up my order!" so said the one person I didn't want to hear at that moment. I winced and waited for the storm clouds to start gathering.

Haruhi stomped up next to me and glared at the other girls as if they had mugged her grandmother. "Who are you guys?" she demanded, "Are you waiters? If so then where is my food?"

Ritsu laughed at that and grabbed Haruhi by the shoulders, leading her to one of the empty tables nearby. "I'm sorry mademoiselle," she said, once again in English. She then reached into her pocket and pretended to pull out a dish which she balanced on the palm of one hand while miming the action of lifting the lid with the other. "Bon Appetit madame!"

While Yui laughed and clapped, Azusa quietly shrank out of sight. I remained dumbfounded by the remarkably bad French accent and needless use of English and Haruhi slapped Ritsu's hand aside and stabbed an accusing finger at her.

"Who are you? The waiters here aren't French! This is Tokyo!"

"Oh no! Yui, our cover is blown!"

"Ah!"

…

Please tell me I'm not the only one who isn't following this at all...

"Kyon who are these people? Are they spies? Alien assassins?"

"They're none of that. They're members of another band in the competition tomorrow."

"So they're trying to sabotage us by abducting our bass player? Unforgivable!"

I punched Haruhi's arm and sighed. "That's not it either."

Ritsu laughed boisterously and grinned, "Yeah you don't need to worry about us stealing you bass player. Ours is the best in the world!"

"Well my band in the best in the universe!" Haruhi snapped.

I rolled my eyes and dragged Haruhi back to the counter to collect our meals since the buzzers I had in my pocket were already going off. On our return to our booth I was shocked to find the girls of Houkagou Tea Time sitting at the table next to ours. Yui waved like a lunatic all over again, spilling her glass of water and earning a stern warning from Azusa about proper table manners.

"What a bunch of freaks!" Haruhi snarled, staring down Ritsu like a feral cat in a territorial battle.

I ignored the blatant irony in her statement and watched everyone eat.

Our dinner was considerably quiet and despite our bumpy start things progressed quite well. I dare say it was almost a good night and a welcome relief from the lingering fear of Mikuru's pessimistic predictions earlier. Even she had apparently forgotten her foul mood and had returned to her usual bumbling clumsy self while Haruhi pondered different outfits to force upon our delightful little mascot on our first album cover.

Ritsu and her gang (I suppose the word 'band' would be more appropriate here...) kept to themselves, but Yui had gotten unbelievably giddy about something and had laughed a storm fit to make even the mighty Tsuruya stand back in amazement. Ritsu was also overly loud and having experienced it several times before it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would but the others had no immunity from her...Well let's say charms...

Koizumi smiled and pretended not to notice as Ritsu swung her glass of water too wildly and spattered it over his shoulder. Mikuru tried to shrink away from the occasional stares of the overbearing drummer and Nagato simply sat still and devoured the mountain of plates set out before her. Haruhi ignored them for the most part, more often than not too absorbed in her own eccentricities to notice those of others, but every so often she would glare at the other table as if they were all smoking.

"Honestly, what is wrong with those guys? Kyon why don't you say something?"

"Huh?"

There, I said something.

"To them you idiot!"

"Why? Just ignore them. Remember they are more afraid of you than you are of them."

"I'm not afraid of them!" Haruhi snapped, proving my point exactly.

"See, there you go."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Ah!"

That cry wasn't just me, it was pretty much everyone at our table. Ritsu had dragged her chair over and planted herself at our table. It seems Ritsu's hearing is better than I thought, having overheard everything we'd just said before. Nonetheless she didn't seem at all offended by Haruhi's anger; in fact it seemed to make her oddly overjoyed. With a genuinely curious smile she leaned forward and awaited our answer.

Is she serious?

"Uh...We were just saying how excited we are for the competition tomorrow."

"I know right!" she beamed, drumming on the table, "I don't think I'll be able to sleep at all tonight! I didn't last night either. I'm running on fumes! Ha ha ha!"

I nodded despite not paying enough attention to understand what she'd said. Haruhi's sour expression had only gotten worse.

"You don't stand a chance against us! We're gonna win for sure!"

Ritsu's expression screamed 'challenge accepted!'

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously!"

And so they had a verbal trade-off for an unnaturally long time while both groups watched on confused and somewhat frightened. Each time Ritsu roared what should have been a rhetorical question in her face, Haruhi would scream back with matching force. There was more spittle flying than at a boxing match. Chances are they won't stop until they're out of breath and I know Haruhi's a born athlete so that ain't no easy feat. This will take a while...

And so I laid my head on the table and closed my eyes, dreading the _long _night to come...


	29. Brown Note

It's been a while, sorry about that. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter. Don't forget to review!

* * *

There is something I came to realise during dinner that night. I sigh a lot. I suppose I should have noticed earlier, but at some point during dinner I began subconsciously counting each sigh as if it would have the same effect of counting sheep and induce some kind of magical coma. Unfortunately there was no escape for me, or any of the other reluctant victims trapped in our booth and at the table opposite.

Ritsu and Haruhi had been arguing on every single subject you could possibly think of. Honestly it amazes me how two girls who are so similar can have absolutely nothing in common. I must be desensitised to all the time travelling and data altering and such if I find the chance meeting between those two to be the most startling and confusing event in recent weeks.

Well whatever, I seem to be a magnet for weird stuff. It's a pretty crappy power. Anyone want to trade? I thought not. Damn it!

However things were just about to get worse.

Ritsu applauded whatever Haruhi had said and sank back into her seat, having previously been leaning over the table and knocking people's plates and drinks over. Folding her arms she hummed quietly to herself and nodded, only to open her eyes, alight with fire. Moving with the speed of a ninja she shot off out of her chair back towards her table. Before any of us could even attempt to guess what she was doing, a shadow wrapped around the unwitting junior of the Light Music Club.

Noticing the stares centred upon her, Azusa's eyes narrowed and her cheeks turned a slight shade of rosy red. "H-Huh?"

Like a coiled snake, Ritsu sank her fangs into the frightened little mouse. Azusa let out a shrill scream at having been ensnared in her sempai's powerful grip and resisted valiantly as she was dragged out of her seat towards us. Unfortunately, her kicking and screaming only managed to make surrounding patrons glare and curse as they struggled to get on with their meals.

"Let me go!" she squealed, only inciting a fearsome laugh from her captor.

"Never! Not until you do the trick we taught you!" roared Ritsu, sounding like a sadistic ringleader for a demented circus.

Azusa's face turned completely red. In fact even her tiny hands were burning up as she adamantly refused.

Our Brigade watched on, stunned as Ritsu overpowered the smaller girl and forced her to lean over the table right in front of us. Her eyes welled up with tears, her face directly in front of mine as she silently pleaded for mercy. Feeling a part of myself die inside I stayed my hand, hoping that once she actually performs the trick Ritsu will leave her alone.

"Say it!" Ritsu snarled, shoving her further onto the table to the point she was almost lying on top of it.

Slowly Azusa's shoulders sank and whilst wiping the tears from her eyes she uttered something I certainly wasn't expecting.

"N-Nyan!"

…

There was silence at the table for a while before everyone seemed to fawn over the sobbing wreck. Ritsu backed away and grinned confidently.

"See? Witness the moe power of Azu-nyan! Nobody can resist her charms!"

Nodding as if a genuinely good point was made, Haruhi saluted her foe. "Well done, I'll admit that even I fell for that one. But do not underestimate us! The SOS Brigade comes equipped with its own moe mascot! Come on Mikuru! Dance for me!"

I should break this up before the police arrive...

"Calm down guys, other people are trying to eat you know? Let's just quiet down a little and stop making a scene ok?"

Somehow my words sank in and Ritsu sat down at our booth again as if she was there from the beginning. Azusa tried to go back to their table but Ritsu trapped her and forced her to sit on her lap like some kind of puppet.

Feeling left out Yui quickly dragged her chair over and joined her band-mates while my fellow Brigade observed in stunned awe.

"Kyon-kun, who are these people? Who are they?"

"Fellow club members." I mumbled, not wanting to pursue this conversation at all.

"And fellow band members!" Haruhi added, sticking her chest out with pride.

Yui's eyes narrowed at that and her whole body turned to me as she asked in a shocked tone, "Have we been betrayed?!"

Betrayed how?

"What about Mio?" she cried, her voice rising melodramatically, "You're here to cheer her on aren't you? You promised her last night at the hospital!"

My jaw dropped.

Yui had unwittingly dropped a bomb right then and there...

I was too afraid to look over at Haruhi, but I could feel the air around us grow cold. Mikuru started stuttering and Yuki stared at me as if to seek orders. Koizumi, of course was smiling, but his eyes were telling me he had a bad feeling about all this.

Somehow unable to pick up on the darkening atmosphere Yui kept on ranting, "You know I think Mio has a bit of a crush on you. She's always talking about you. Isn't that so sweet? Like cake! I like cake!"

I stopped listening there. I didn't miss out on much though, the rest seemed to be about her dessert and how delicious it was. It didn't matter. The damage was already done.

I couldn't speak. In fact I could hardly breathe.

I just sat there and watched the storm clouds roll in...

In the meantime, Haruhi stormed off without saying goodbye.

* * *

Haruhi locked herself in her room. Nobody was allowed in, no matter how hard they tried to reason with her. Her excuses varied from feeling tired, to being sick and everything in between. She also managed to hurl some mighty curses at the Light Music Club members who tried to help out.

Nothing worked and knowing Haruhi she wouldn't give in at least until morning. It was best to leave her be and hope for the best.

So I did.

The two stranded groups gathered in my room, standing around the bed as if for a strategy meeting. Ritsu glanced between the door, the Brigade and me, finally settling on me with a frown.

"Alright somebody is gonna have to explain this to me. What on earth happened back there?"

"It was all your fault Ritsu! You behaved like a fool back there!" cried Azusa, glaring at her senior with contempt.

Koizumi nodded and folded his arms, "It is true, your behaviour was somewhat inappropriate...Ritsu, was it?" he let out a sigh and looked over at the door, "However...I'm afraid this has little to do with you."

"Well then why is she so angry? What happened?"

"Um...was it me?" Yui asked sheepishly.

"Oh come on, what could you have possibly done to get her mad?" Ritsu groaned, "It's not like you stole her dessert or something."

Yui shied away and twiddled her fingers, "I know...But..."

"Actually..." Koizumi began, but quickly cut himself off, directing a knowing glance my way. With a shake of his head he once again looked out towards Haruhi's locked door. "I do not know, but for now we should simply assume she is jet-lagged. Travel can take a toll on those who are not used to it and I assume it has worn her out. She is simply frustrated with her exhaustion and accidentally let it out on us."

Ritsu and Yui blinked. "So...we're not guilty?"

"No. But I think it would be best if you avoid contact with Miss Suzumiya for the remainder of the night. I'm sure she will free herself from her stupor by morning and we can all enjoy the competition together."

I almost felt like patting him on the back. I didn't though. But Koizumi sure comes in handy in tough situations. The way he explains away things with the professional air of a doctor makes you want to believe him and do as he says.

Still, the girls bowed and gave their apologies before leaving up the hall to their rooms. The others trailed after them shortly after. Koizumi stopped in the doorway and glanced back at me with a look of suspicion. I questioned his stare and he simply shrugged.

"I meant nothing by my actions; I am merely concerned for my Brigade. It appears that whatever relationship you have acquired with these new friends of yours has angered Miss Suzumiya. I do not wish to pry, but I shall give you some advice; Beware a woman scorned."

With that he flashed a blinding smile and strolled off.

Miss Asahina cocked her head in confusion while I simply glared at the empty space that irritating smiling face had previously taken up. I mean come on, seriously? What kind of advice is that? If you really want to help out then why not give me some sacred charms or a holy sword or something.

On second thought, never mind...

I was considering checking up on Mio, but decided against it given the situation at hand. Besides, if she wasn't well enough to come down to dinner then it would be best to leave her to get well. She'll need all her strength for the competition tomorrow, especially with the furious effort I know Haruhi's gonna unleash on that stage. If I know her (and unfortunately I do) she'll channel all of her pointless and unnecessary anger into her performance, which will make a good impression on the crowd and the judges. Even against superior talent it may be enough to get us through to the second round.

Perhaps that will be enough? As long as we avoid the first cut maybe Haruhi will be satisfied and we can graciously concede defeat and allow Houkago Tea-Time their rightfully earned chance at stardom. Otherwise things are only going to get worse from here on out.

I can only hope that Haruhi becomes bored with this before too long so we can close the book without any casualties. If not then we all know who will have to clean up the crime scene...

If you didn't guess 'me' then you really are stupid. Have you been paying attention at all this entire time?! Oh what am I getting angry at you for? Don't worry I'm just agitated...

But really, pay more attention sometimes. Maybe then you won't get into as much trouble as I did...

* * *

As expected, trying to sleep off such an awful night was utterly futile. I couldn't get comfortable, perhaps due in part to the fact that I was sleeping on the floor while Asahina was sleeping close by in the double bed. Still awake, I could hear Miss Asahina's soft sighing breaths and suddenly I was wide awake. The mix of temptation, fear, confusion, hope and...Well the list is quite long but you get the picture. There was a lot going through my mind, not the least of which was what to do about Mio and Haruhi.

This silly game can't go on forever. I can't keep this nonsense up much longer. Something has got to give at some point. Whatever Haruhi thinks is going on between me and Mio must be pretty extreme to get her to behave like that. I don't know what I need to say to her to convince that stubborn girl that...

Hmm, what am I supposed to convince her of exactly?

I don't even understand why she is so angry about me hanging around Mio! How am I supposed to counter something when I'm not even aware of the problem in the first place?

Damn it! Why can't women be a little easier to figure out sometimes, or at least come with an instruction manual?

Oh brother...

Maybe I should just confront her and straight out ask her? No that wouldn't work. I could try and get her drunk? No I wouldn't be able to go through that Hell ever again! Then perhaps I could lock Mio and Haruhi in a room together and let them sort out whatever is going on? No, I don't want to put Mio through that.

Hmm...

I suppose I have a few hours until sunrise to try and solve the conundrum...

But of course it was only then that I suddenly felt tired. Odd how sleep works isn't it? One minute you feel like you could run a marathon and in the blink of an eye you can collapse and pass out without a seconds notice. Even so, the sudden and totally unwarranted desire for sleep hit me unusually fast.

As if by some sort of black magic I felt drowsy and weak. Eyes closed, breathing slowing to a crawl, I drifted off soon after, silently cursing my body's need for rest. Oh well, I'll deal with the morning when it comes and not a second sooner. For now, I need rest...

The sun rose on Saturday morning. At last, the day of the competition. The Battle of the Bands would commence later at night and considering our shameful excuse for a band we would be going back home on the Sunday. Unless of course by some miraculous stroke of luck we make it to the second round which would consume the Sunday after. Then there would be the semi-finals and finals, but we don't have to worry about that now do we?

Do we?

No I doubt it...

I sat up from the poor man's futon I had constructed out of blankets, jackets and pillows and glanced over at Miss Asahina. Just like Snow White she was locked in a deep sleep. For a moment I wondered what a time traveller would dream of. The past or the future? Perhaps both? Who knows, maybe Miss Asahina is dreaming about riding dinosaurs into battle against a legion of killer robots? Because, you know, that sounds so much like what she would dream about now doesn't it?

Oh forget it.

Deciding to let her sleep in peace I got dressed as quietly as possible and headed outside. As expected, Haruhi's door was locked. Since Koizumi wasn't sleeping outside on the floor like a dog I could only assume he was sleeping in Nagato's room. That bastard! Speaking of which, Nagato's door was closed as well. Tentatively I tried the handle and it slowly groaned open.

Much to my surprise, Koizumi was sleeping alone in the large double bed while Nagato sat in the corner under a night-light reading another gigantic book. It was different from the one on the train but she had already gotten so far through this one...She must have been reading all night.

Whether or not she knew I was there she remained perfectly still and never once looked up from the book.

I closed the door and stood in the hall for some time, wondering what to do until everyone else wakes up. That was when I heard somebody screaming further up the hall.


	30. Muted

Saturday. The day of the Battle of the Bands. It would be understandable to have butterflies in your stomach surely, but this wasn't butterflies. This leaden weight inside had nothing to do with nerves. It wasn't performance anxiety at all.

This was fear.

The scream filled the hallway, bouncing off the walls and resonating endlessly in an unholy cacophony of ear-splitting shrieks. I ran without knowing where they had even come from, just knowing that I was getting closer. The sounds of grumbling residents forcefully awoken accompanied the rattling of my bones and the incessant screams still ripping through the air. Those who had been woken must not have cared, many resigning themselves to roll and over and get back to sleep.

I alone raced up the hall, stopping outside the door from which the noise was emanating. I tried the handle but it was locked. The next resort was to bash my fists until it either gave way or it opened from the inside. I couldn't wait for either result and slammed my whole body into it, forcing the door to shoot open with a thunderous clash.

Rolling in like the stunt man in a TV crime drama I landed in a crouch beside the bed where a young girl was curled up in the corner, tears rolling down her delicate round cheeks. Her screaming escalated as I tried to approach her and only then did I recognise that face, contorted in fright.

"Mugi? Mugi what happened?!"

The response given wasn't in any language I'd ever heard. I tried to calm her down, or at the very least reach out and reassure her, but she continued panicking as if she had just seen a ghost. Before I could make any sense of the situation the other girls from the Light Music club had stormed in, still in their pyjamas, eyes wide and alert.

"Kyon, what on earth-" Ritsu's question was never finished as Mugi howled at the top of her lungs.

"Mio! Mio!"

"Mio?"

"Huh? She's not here!"

"Where is she?!"

The girls all muttered their responses but I kept silent. That sinking feeling got a whole lot worse right then.

Taking a deep breath I tried to keep calm as I placed a hand on Mugi's trembling shoulders. "Hey, come on now, it's alright. It's safe with us, ok? Calm down."

She stopped screaming at least, but she wasn't calming down. Her eyes were unfocused and her lips were quivering uncontrollably, teeth chattering madly. Her already pale skin was almost transparent.

"Mugi, what's wrong?" Azusa asked, peering over the taller seniors crowded around us.

"M-M-Mio...She just...She just..."

I patted her back and spoke as softly as I could, desperate to get an answer out of her, "It's okay, just take your time. What happened to Mio?"

Her shoulders sank and she collapsed into the pillow beside her. Between sobs she coughed out the response that had been torturing her so.

"She just...She disappeared!"

Her friends all shared concerned glances.

"Where could she have run off to?"

"That's strange. Why would she run away?"

"Was it stage fright?"

"She didn't run away!" Tsumugi cried, shooting up off the bed. "She _vanished_!"

She soon fell back down, weeping uncontrollably. The others murmured amongst themselves, dumbfounded.

Only I knew what was going on.

Haruhi...How could you? What in the world could drive you so far as to wipe someone clean off the face of the earth? I know there was some kind of jealousy between you and her but this is just too much! What could have pushed you over the edge like this?

Wait a minute...

That must be it...

"You..." The word came as a snarl, a sound that frightened even me. I never expected it to come out of my mouth. But more so than that, my body was suddenly possessed by some phantom puppeteer and bid to rise from the bedside. I glared at the members of the Light Music club and settled on the sole object of my rage.

Her absent mind never saw it coming.

"You! How could you be so stupid?! This is all because of you!"

Yui couldn't retort to my accusations, simply on account of the fact that my hands were wrung around her throat, pressing her against the wall. Her hands clung desperately to mine, fumbling about in a vain attempt to free herself. The veins bulged on my hands as I pressed down harder.

"Why?! Why did you have to say something so god damn stupid! It's all your fault!"

The voice I heard was no longer my own. In a red haze I could just make out the pained look of betrayal on the young girl's face as she was thrown into the wall again. A faint whimper escaped her and spittle ran down her chin, wetting my hands still wrapped around her thin neck.

"Kyon! What are you doing?!"

"Get off of her!"

"Stop it! You're hurting her!"

"Please, just let her go!"

They screamed at me, so many pairs of hands dragging me back. My fingers pried away, Yui slid down the wall, collapsing in a heap, a fresh wailing voice to add to the madness.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...Whatever I did, please forgive me!"

Yui sobbed pitifully as she curled up in a ball on the floor. Suddenly there were many more people in the room. Adults were pulling me away, restraining my arms and legs. Koizumi was one of them, holding my hand back, digging his nails into my wrist. I scowled at him and tried to yank my arm out but he held on tight and refused to let me go.

There was so much yelling now I could no longer even hear myself think, not that I was thinking much anyway. Whatever was controlling me had suddenly lost its hold and my entire body sagged like a puppet with its strings cut. Sensing the dead weight in my body they set me down on the floor and assembled around us, studying the situation with curious gazes.

Amidst all the madness she hadn't shown her face at all...

Koizumi was there, standing watch in case I tried to move again. Nagato was standing by the door, Miss Asahina clinging to her as if she were a teddy bear, hugging her furiously and crying. Everyone was here, except for her...

Haruhi! How dare you hide away after causing all this! Show yourself dammit! And while you're at it, bring Mio back!

* * *

"Well...This is certainly a dark day." Koizumi's assertion didn't help things at all.

We were both sitting in Nagato's room while she was away comforting Miss Asahina. I hadn't met his gaze the entire time, too ashamed to look at him. What I did back there was unforgivable. Yui might have said some stupid things at dinner but there was no excuse for my actions. I don't even understand why I got so angry. To be mad is certainly understandable but to fly into a blind rage like that and hurt a friend...

I could die...Every moment since those screams began has been agony.

"Miss Suzumiya has spirited away this Akiyama girl, or so it seems. According to the testimony of Miss Kotobuki she witnessed Miss Akiyama's disappearance, saying it was as if she had disintegrated into thin air. There are certainly a number of spatial disturbances surrounding this building as we speak and I have no doubts that it is Miss Suzumiya's doing, but we must proceed carefully next time, understood?"

I bowed my head and sighed, "Don't remind me...So what do we do?"

Koizumi fell silent.

"Our options are limited. All possible routes are dangerous and certainly there are many risks involved for each possible path. We will have to decide on the safest course of action to-"

"Can't you take us into one of those spatial disturbance things and look for her? When Haruhi and I disappeared back then we were in a closed off dimension and you found it right?"

"Hmm, it is possible, but it would take some time to search each one individually. If I could take some time to investigate-"

"We don't have time!" I snapped. "What about Nagato? Maybe she can trace Mio to the right dimension or something?"

"Hmm," Koizumi seemed to enjoy making that sound. "Come to think of it, Miss Nagato should have sensed the disturbance in data when Miss Akiyama vanished. Considering she did not react immediately it may be that she did not notice or quite possibly was unable to detect the change at all. If so then it may not be possible for her to trace our missing maiden."

Actually, now that he mentions it, Nagato didn't show up until Koizumi and the other residents which was a while after Mio had already vanished. If she hadn't picked up on Mio's disappearance immediately then perhaps Haruhi's powers simply cannot be traced.

I sure hope not...

"Then...What if we use Miss Asahina to travel back in time so we can stop Haruhi from doing whatever she did to erase Mio's existence?"

Koizumi shook his head, "Time travel involves special permissions and unless Miss Asahina's superiors give her sanction to do so that would be impossible. If this situation reaches a point in which the future she comes from is in some way threatened, then she would be given the order, but until then it is a dead end."

"So what else is there to do then? Ask Haruhi nicely to give her back?"

A light chuckle escaped him. I felt it unnecessary to inform him of just how inappropriate such a gesture is at a time like this, besides my glare seemed to relay the message pretty clearly.

"I'm sure if you grovelled and kissed her foot she may consider it." he said, completely unaware of how much I wanted to throttle him then and there, "But we have little choice but to investigate the surrounding closed space until we find her."

"I already told you we don't have enough time!" I roared, "We can't go through each one individually. We need to find her quickly before...I don't know, something even worse happens!"

The esper boy leaned forward, his expression was uncharacteristically stern. "Kyon, I promise you, nothing will happen to Miss Akiyama whilst trapped in that sealed off dimension. It is dangerous to rush into a situation like this unprepared, so please allow me to conduct my investigations. I'll have my associates from the Agency assist and we will comb through each sequestered dimension until we find her."

It sounded like a good plan in theory, but we all know how well everything with that label tends to go. I quietly acceded to his idea and glanced out the window with what I hoped was a sombre expression. Already a plan was beginning to form in the back of my mind, but I still need answers before it can proceed.

"Say, why are these closed spaces all scattered anyway?" I asked nonchalantly. Koizumi didn't seem to mind the chance to put on his teacher's cap regardless of whether he knew what I was thinking.

"Well, such an unusual pattern such as this suggests Miss Suzumiya is in a state of confusion. She is angry, but it is misdirected as she is feeling conflicted. Most closed space occur when her anger is directed towards someone, somewhere or something."

"So...You're saying if she got really mad all these closed spaces would fuse together somewhere?"

Koizumi cradled his head in the palm of his hand as he lapsed into thought. "Hmm," he did it again... "I am quite certain that would be the case. However that would be quite disastrous if it were to occur. You see the number of these closed spaces and their relative sizes combined would easily consume this entire city, perhaps even more."

"Well if it's better off to have her in a state of confusion, why don't we just tell Haruhi a riddle every day to keep her under control?"

He laughed bitterly at that and sighed.

He seemed to have run out of things to say at that point; a miracle in itself. I took my leave and stood in the hallway for a while, considering my next move. Serious doubts were plaguing my mind but only one path remained open. I don't care how dangerous it is! I won't abandon Mio! I'm not such a low-life that I'd just twiddle my thumbs and walk away when this whole mess is my fault.

Haruhi might have dropped the bomb, but I'm the one that gave her a target. I can't punish her _too _much for what she's done, however I can't let myself off the hook either. We're going to face the music together. Well that's pretty clever now isn't it?

I glanced at the door to Haruhi's room; still locked. There is no point in barging in and giving her a lecture. It wouldn't sink in at all and it wouldn't make any difference even if it did. But no matter, I don't need to go through all that effort anyway. I have something else in store for her...

In order for this plan to succeed Haruhi needs to be pissed off. This is the chance I've always been waiting for.

It's time for payback! For every bruise on the back of my head, for every missing note and coin in my wallet, for every blister on my foot from running about everywhere, for every wasted sigh and the endless embarrassment...

I'll repay you for everything Haruhi!

But I can't do it alone...


End file.
